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Immortals Trailer: I. Am. SPARTA (Or Tarsem Singh's Weak Facsimile Thereof).

By Dustin Rowles | Posted Under Trailers | Comments (27)

immortals3.jpg

Apple has the new teaser trailer for Tarsem Singh’s (The Cell, The Fall) trailer for Immortals below, which you can watch by clicking on the image (I’ll replace it with an embed once its available). In the meantime, you can feast your eyes on this ripped-from-the-Sparta Press Herald Headlines 300 clone, another visually striking but ultimately dumb-looking project from Singh, who — if you think about it — was really the Zack Snyder before Zack Snyder: All flash, no substance. And the thing is, if you’re going to make a 300 clone, it’s difficult to out-flash Snyder on style, so at least you’d think that Singh would put a little substance on the bone. At least from the looks of the trailer — lots of sweaty men with bows and arrows and booby women with boobs — it looks like he’s done nothing for the sort.

But hey! Mickey Rourke, the future Superman Henry Cavill, and the lovely Freida Pinto star in the film.

immortalstrailer.jpg









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Comments

Oh this burns us.

Posted by: coveredinbees at April 27, 2011 10:39 AM

Is it just me, or does Mickey Rourke look like the world's weirdest Pokeman in that helmet? He's got bunny ears for Godtopus' sake! Eh, maybe it's just me.

Posted by: Mrcreosote at April 27, 2011 10:40 AM

Buncha nerd-ass writers on this site...you're allowed to enjoy movies for their visual appeal. Not everything has to be Pulitzer material.

Posted by: the new transported man at April 27, 2011 10:51 AM

"All flash, no substance."

Did you use that to describe the Tarsem Singh's films? Them's fightin' words, mister, and you wouldn't like me when I'm angry. Singh's flash kicks Snyder's flash's ASS up the 405 and back down during rush hour traffic. I defy you! The Fall was a beautiful ode to storytelling, the ending of which made me all warm and fuzzy inside. You obviously don't like warm and fuzzy things then, such as baby kittens, panda bears, and ice cream cones on a warm summer's evening. God bless your black, black soul.

Posted by: Rest In Peace at April 27, 2011 10:53 AM

But... but... The Fall! I disagree that there's no substance there.

I'll be honest, I loved The Fall, I liked The Cell (visually, it's stunning, though I agree the story is both lacking and predictable), and this looks, at the very least, pretty. I'll watch it and probably enjoy it.

Posted by: Anna von Beav at April 27, 2011 10:55 AM

Or, what Rest In Peace said.

Posted by: Anna von Beav at April 27, 2011 10:57 AM

I just watched The Fall last night for the umpteenth time, so I am ALL OVER this when it hits the theaters.

The difference between Zach Snyder and Tarsem Singh? I would pay to see Tarsem's work.

Posted by: MelBivDevoe at April 27, 2011 11:04 AM

I too liked The Cell well before I knew who the hell Vince Vaughn and Jennifer Lopez and good serial killer fiction were - I just knew I liked surreal imagery. If it shows up on Netflix Instant I'll be watching, instantly. I'm also interested in seeing The Fall, if only because Don Hertzfeldt cited it as a boring-but-beautiful inspiration. It'll be like the 2001: A Space Odyssey DVD I watch once a year.

Posted by: LEROOOY at April 27, 2011 11:06 AM

What R.I.P. said ^^^. Dustin, I thought you lame whiney hipsters are supposed to be all over the meta in things.. The Fall had more substance in it than half the reviews you write, Weird that you can't see that. Too busy trying to be a snarky little snot, I guess rather than giving what most consider his one more substantial film any credit. You silly man.

Posted by: Gggg at April 27, 2011 11:07 AM

Ooh, burn.

Posted by: The Other Agent Johnson at April 27, 2011 11:08 AM

Rest in Peace and AVP, completely, utterly agree. The Fall was an amazingly well-crafted and substantially substantial (!) work that continues to amaze.

Gggg, you don't know how right you are. At first I thought you were being a little harsh, but then I remembered: no, you're not. Well played.

Posted by: Carlos at April 27, 2011 11:30 AM

I too am with Rest In Peace. The Fall is not only visually stunning but also a really sweet and moving story. Did I mention Lee Pace? He's all the substance I need.

Posted by: BalladofMaxwellDemon at April 27, 2011 11:46 AM

OH! *happydance* Chickaboom's getting some Immortals for her birthday yeahyeah!

Posted by: ChickaBoom! at April 27, 2011 11:49 AM

Wait, what? No geeking out about ancient myth stuff?

What? Tarsem Singh equated with Zack Snyder? the hell?

I do not understand this write-up....

thank god for the comment section. For a second there I was scared this wanna gonna be one of those things - you know, when you think something is awesome and can't comprehend just how negatively everyone else feels about it. So you feel slightly crazy cause SO AWESOME how can you not see......

So yey! And Thanks to Rest In Peace for leading the charge.

Posted by: llaurus at April 27, 2011 12:48 PM

I'll co-sign with the rest of these commentators. The Fall gets you no cred around here?!

Posted by: Socraz6 at April 27, 2011 1:18 PM

Yikes, that was underwhelming despite my Cavill and Tarsem love.

Posted by: Snrub at April 27, 2011 1:23 PM

I didn't watch the trailer, as I am in school and cannot do sound right now, but I must pipe in and say that The Fall is my all time favorite movie and while I do think it is one of the most visually stunning movies ever made, it is also a brilliantly crafted story. The Fall is so intricate that there are pieces that I pick up every time I see it. And the thing about Tarsem, is that he uses his amazing visuals as part of the way he tells his story, so you have to pay attention to every little detail. That is part of what makes the movie so amazing to me.

Posted by: DominaNefret at April 27, 2011 1:40 PM

I hope it isn't like 300 cuz I thought that stunk.

This looks cool to me.

Is it just me or did Stephen Dorf stick out like a sore thumb?

Posted by: junierizzle at April 27, 2011 1:55 PM

Ok first I will definitely watch this because I'm a guy but it does appear to be written by a freshman english literature student whos fave film was "300".

Posted by: logan at April 27, 2011 2:45 PM

The Fall wasn't completely devoid of substance, just mostly. The part involving Lee Pace and the little girl was a sweet little story, but the story he told her, the part with all the crazy incredible visuals, had zero substance. I can barely remember what it was about and I didn't care about it as it was happening. That said, the visuals were so incredible that it was worth seeing.

Posted by: elgarcon at April 27, 2011 3:01 PM

This movie looks to be made entirely for the non-English speaking world, and they will eat it up. International box office will make this movie a huge hit. Domestically, it won't matter how it does.

Posted by: John G. at April 27, 2011 3:46 PM

@llaurus: I give when I can, babe.

Posted by: Rest In Peace at April 27, 2011 4:07 PM

I have never, ever, understood how jumping into (usually over the top of) a pile of people with sharp objects is a good idea.

Posted by: DeistBrawler at April 27, 2011 4:20 PM

I'm with those who think 'The Fall' was beautiful but sleep-inducing. Like, literally. That, to me, does not constitute good storytelling, no matter how intricate or beautifully filmed something is.

Posted by: Sian at April 28, 2011 1:36 AM

i was excited about this until i watched the trailer. it looks absolute 300 sucking garbage.

Posted by: idleprimate at April 28, 2011 4:51 AM

I would like to refute the claim made in an article on this site that everyone's doubtless forgotten already...that fantasy isn't getting a fair shake. Allow me to point out that the sword-and-sandals subgenre of fantasy is alive and well, even if sword-and-sorcery isn't. Give it time.

Anyway this looks fuckin' dope. Don't watch it sober.

Posted by: HappyGobo at April 29, 2011 11:36 AM

Geez! another gods movie? Tarsem is Hollywoodised! This makes me think that there's no other movie like THE FALL and appreciate it even more. Such personal, uniquely atmospheric film ever made.

Posted by: merlintree at May 20, 2011 7:45 PM