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I'm Really Sorry to Do This to You

By Dustin Rowles | Posted Under Trailers | Comments (30)

guilliverstravels.jpg

I never felt bad about all that Human Centipede coverage we inflicted on you all. I didn’t feel bad that time I wrote a recap in LOLspeak. And I never felt bad that I led many of you to believe that Sister Act was the greatest movie of our generation.

But this. This I feel bad about.

Here’s the trailer for Jack Black’s contemporary re-imagining of Gulliver’s Travels. It’s embarrassing, not just because it looks like an atrocious movie, but because it’s an atrocious movie based on very well respected classic literature. The point of Gulliver’s Travels wasn’t the lilliputians. The point was the satire, of which there is none in this movie.

In fact, the only reason I’m inflicting it upon you is because of the very brief glimpse of “Doctor Who’s” Catherine Tate. one of the many wasted talents here (see also: Emily Blunt, Amanda Peete, and Jason Segel). The only other silver lining here is that, after Year One and now this, Jack Black’s career has to be all but over. Right?









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Comments

I thought I saw Romany Malco in there. So IMDBed, and I did. Good lord, why is there so much talent in this movie?

Posted by: Nimue at June 4, 2010 10:40 AM

i juzt vomutted up moost of my branez

Posted by: AM at June 4, 2010 10:40 AM

The header pic is all I needed.

Posted by: , at June 4, 2010 10:42 AM

Here’s the trailer for Jack Black’s contemporary re-imagining of Gulliver’s Travels.

He actually wrote it? Wow, that's fucking awful.

Posted by: admin at June 4, 2010 10:49 AM

That picture is pretty suspect. Looks like JB's about to give someone a BJ.

Posted by: Brie at June 4, 2010 10:50 AM

Swift kick to the ass of all involved.

Posted by: Ranylt at June 4, 2010 10:52 AM

And I never felt bad that I had many of you to believe that Sister Act was the greatest movie of our generation.

Just wait until the musical transfers to Broadway next fall. That'll settle your hash real good when it wins every Tony award imaginable, including Leading Actor with no leading male roles and Lighting Design for a Play when it's only eligible for Musical categories. Then you'll see the truth. For all is good if we live by the lessons of Sister Act and the divine Miss Deloris Van Cartier.

Posted by: Robert at June 4, 2010 11:09 AM

I actually think it looks pretty great.

::removes coat hanger from ear::

Wow, that was weird.

::passes out::

Posted by: The Other Agent Johnson at June 4, 2010 11:09 AM

As a native of Bermuda, I take umbrage at this full-retard Bermuda Triangle macguffin. And then the temerity to invoke Big?!?

There is a special level of hell reserved for the makers of this film. And all the goodwill Jack Black earned with his performance in Tropic Thunder is washed away too. Like maybe it was capsized by a huge, rogue "I wish I was as meaningful as The Perfect Storm" wave.

Posted by: malikvlc at June 4, 2010 11:12 AM

Thought this was the new Jeff Portnoy movie for a minute. Life imitating art imitating life. WHAT IS REAL

Posted by: the new transported man at June 4, 2010 11:18 AM

Catherine Tate. Ugh.

That is my only reaction to her. ever.*

Posted by: esme at June 4, 2010 11:21 AM

*Except that time in the Agatha Christie episode when she kissed the Doctor. Then my reaction was

CATHERINE TATE I WILL MURDER YOU! GET YOUR HANDS OFF!

Posted by: esme at June 4, 2010 11:22 AM

With Catherine Tate comes CATHERINE TATE CLEAVAGE. I'm so jealous. If I had those, I'd spend all day looking down my shirt and jumping a little.

The movie looks all right, especially if you don't pay any attention to the parts with Jack Black.

Posted by: Charlie Dia at June 4, 2010 11:44 AM

I am pretty sure that this doesn't seem as bad as half the stuff my nephew makes me watch. I think I would rather see this than watch something like Mall Cop, or one of those damned movies with talking dogs. Because talking dogs freak me out.

Or maybe I am having an aneurysm and am not yet aware of it.

Posted by: nicole at June 4, 2010 11:53 AM

Doesnt Black get any Pajiba love from the transitive property of RDJ in Tropic Thunder?
I was an English minor, I read Gulliver's Travels. I agree this film has little or nothing to do with that book.
However, I would take a kid to see this movie at Christmas and enjoy my popcorn and white cherry Icee and vague, yet undying, lurve for Jack.

Posted by: karen at June 4, 2010 12:01 PM

Maybe they're saving Brobdingnagians and the Houyhnhnms for the sequels.
Although, how they'll separate Jack from the rest of the "Yahoos" is anyone's guess.

Posted by: Odnon. at June 4, 2010 12:17 PM

So if I found that trailer sobering, disappointing, and not funny in the least...that means I have a soul, right?

Posted by: katyv at June 4, 2010 12:49 PM

I am going to cry. Cry right into my delicious bowl of left-over spaghetti where all the sauce has soaked into my noodles and made them extra yummy. That's right, that damn trailer overruled my pasta happiness and turned it into despair.

I hope you're fucking happy, Jack Black.

Posted by: stardust at June 4, 2010 1:22 PM

I will step in for Anna von Beaversmack to rap you on the knuckles and say, "Amanda Peet's name doesn't have an E on the end!! GET IT RIGHT!"

P.S. Amanda, what the fuck are you doing in this movie?

Posted by: MM at June 4, 2010 3:59 PM

admin, Jack Black didn't write it, imdb says it was written by Joe Stillman and Nicholas Stoller.

Posted by: Jesse M. at June 4, 2010 4:09 PM

I love the version with Ted Danson. Go away Jack Black.

Posted by: Mick J at June 4, 2010 6:15 PM

His empty mouth in that poster haunts my nightmares. Pretty sure it's the entrance to hell.

Posted by: teacupnosaucer at June 4, 2010 6:45 PM


I'm Really Sorry to Do This To You

We all know you lie.

You live for shit like this.

You bastard.

Posted by: Jerce at June 4, 2010 9:38 PM

As a fan of Jack Black, who wants him to have a long and healthy career, this looks fucking terrible, and I want it to die.

Posted by: ChristianH at June 4, 2010 11:10 PM

Actually, the first minute and twenty seconds are fairly innocuous. Nothing special, one way or the other. Around 1:23, it becomes completely ridiculous, then patently horrible,then completely unbearable.

Posted by: ChristianH at June 4, 2010 11:26 PM

And people are gonna looooooooove it, people like my sisters and their atrocious families. People love their sub-par entertainment.

Posted by: Liz at June 5, 2010 2:17 AM

It'll open at 40 mill or so and make 75 US so his career is safe.

I blame the schools and the liberal media.

Posted by: logan at June 5, 2010 9:53 AM

wow, just incredibly piss poor. It's like two shitty movies combined...first the love story about the guy who wants the girl who is out of reach....then it morphs into just a big pile of unexplainable shit.

But it's going to be in 3D. Yeah, how many naked shots of his ass are people going to be forced to see? It's torture porn for the eye sockets.

I'm going to go out on a limb and say i'm not seeing this.

Posted by: Rubble44 at June 5, 2010 4:31 PM

I disagree with the author, and hope this is not the end for Jack Black. The movie looks decent, though not the best trailer I've seen. It doesn't matter, because in my opinion, Jack's still funny as hell!!!

Posted by: Digs at June 18, 2010 10:46 PM

I agree consent with you, the way you say is real admirable. it’s nifty to know that someone's opinion is so

Posted by: Henry Pouge at February 22, 2011 10:13 AM