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I'm a Mountaintop Water Drop. I Don't Belong Here

By Dustin Rowles | Posted Under Trailers | Comments (17)

im-still-here-one-.jpg

For those of you who have never waded into the comments section here at Pajiba (Warning: May cause permanent brain damage and erectile dysfunction), there’s a commenter that makes an occasional appearance on slow days by the name of Adventureman. He’s kind of Dadaist. Sort of like what you’d get if you crossed Zack Galifianakis with a spambot. He leaves strange comments that are just on the cusp of coherence, but they’re often intriguing enough that you want to try and figure out the hidden meaning. I think it’s some sort of alien/zombie code, or Adventureman is using Pajiba to send secret messages to Al Qaeda. Here’s a sample:

The Associated Press is not a joke. Have you can even ever actually read for now? It really is of want proportional has become Kevin Mcallister. You’re just saying to decide ever needing Buzz your girlfriend…woof! You don’t extra large Taylor Swift, tv and one of those refigerators you have to open with a key. Credit card? You got it. Well fuck you. She’s actually more of suck brick kid needing. Universe, you’ve done it again!

What all of you don’t realize, however, is that Adventureman is actually the commenter handle for Joaquin Phoenix 2.0, the aspiring rap musician that Casey Affleck made a documentary about that involves a lot of Hollywood debauchery, frontal nudity and a sequence, at one point, where someone takes a dump on Phoenix while he’s asleep.

There’s a new teaser trailer out now for the doc, called I’m Still Here. This is it: Adventureman in action. Universe! You’ve done it!









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Comments

Oh EJO, why would you get involved with this?

Posted by: Cindy at August 17, 2010 10:33 AM

Oh EJO, everything you say sounds awesome. Even if it's a load of crap.

Posted by: AlwaysConfused at August 17, 2010 10:49 AM

I'm Still Here.

Well I dont care.

Posted by: logan at August 17, 2010 10:51 AM

"...using Pajiba to send secret messages to Al Qaeda."

I hope you've got connections at the DHS. Because I do not want to see this site shut down again. That was painful.

Did Adventureman leave the comment regarding pooping outside and wiping his butt with a signed essay? Because that was a gem.

Posted by: Scully at August 17, 2010 10:52 AM

Warning: May cause permanent brain damage and erectile dysfunction

Brain damage is par for the course, but ED??! Come on man! In this economy, that's the only toy many of us can afford this Christmas!

Posted by: Fredo at August 17, 2010 10:53 AM

Is it true that this is why Pookie has been trying out alternate personae in the comments of late? He just feels threatened by the awesomeness of AdvertureMan's babble?

Posted by: PaddyDog at August 17, 2010 10:53 AM

So Joaquin Phoenix sends messages to Al Qaeda through your site? Is that what closed this place down way back when? Is there going to be a sequence in the film where he's on the computer and they advertise this site using that video review for Thomas Kinkade's Christmas Cottage?

Posted by: Uda at August 17, 2010 10:56 AM

Warning: May cause permanent brain damage and erectile dysfunction

Unless your into hardcore S&M with bondage on the side. Then, the exact opposite is true. Or so I hear.

Posted by: admin at August 17, 2010 11:05 AM

Warning: May cause permanent brain damage and erectile dysfunction

Blame us all you like, Dustin, but don't act as if your hands are clean after publishing "Eating Lead Paint Chips: Pajiba's Guide to What's Good for You."

Posted by: branded at August 17, 2010 11:26 AM

I'm still in shock over the uncut version of Team America. My quota of seeing people get shit on (even if they are puppets) is all used up. I'm just going to ignore this movie.

Posted by: Danielle Lilly at August 17, 2010 11:48 AM

With that beard, Joaquin looks like a crazy, homeless version of Zach Galifinakis.

Posted by: Marcela at August 17, 2010 12:55 PM

That cat needs a goddam pair of clippers, some
conditioner, and a goddam tennis racket to the face.

Posted by: Skitz at August 17, 2010 12:56 PM

Awesome! Andvetureman is actually more coherent than Courtney Love's last few rants...

Posted by: SarahReznor aka Barkai at August 17, 2010 1:08 PM

I am gettting shitfaced hammered and sitting front row for this. Tis the only way I believe any of us will even be able to begin to understand it. Too bad I don't still smoke pot...because then I would totally get it.

Posted by: PissBoy at August 17, 2010 1:12 PM

Of all the trailers on Pajiba, why is this shit the only one I can view at work?

Posted by: Carolina Girl at August 18, 2010 2:09 PM

The Swiffer ad is much more interesting.

Posted by: Adam at August 19, 2010 6:09 PM

Pretty sure that was that Tom Waits on the VO.

Incidentally, "Children's Story" is pretty awesome.

Posted by: HappyGobo at August 23, 2010 1:10 AM