If Stallone's 'Reach Me' Trailer Were a Machine Gun, and Cliches Were Bullets, We'd All Be Hole-Riddled Corpses
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If Stallone's 'Reach Me' Trailer Were a Machine Gun, and Cliches Were Bullets, We'd All Be Hole-Riddled Corpses

By Dustin Rowles | Trailers | July 7, 2014 | Comments ()


Some of you may recall that John Herzfeld’s Reach Me had to resort to Kickstarter to fund the last quarter million dollars of the film, after a financier backed out, and apparently no one in the cast — which includes Sylvester Stallone and Kelsey Grammer, who have $250,000 in their couch cushions —- offered to step up. No matter. Herzfeld found the $250,000 on Kickstarter, although as soon as the goal was met (but before payment was received) he abandoned that campaign for an Indiegogo campaign, which apparently had fewer restrictions. Unfortunately, it also meant that — instead of $250,000 — Herzfeld only managed to raise $181,000, which I guess meant that there was not enough money to get someone to smooth out the tin-eared cliches and idiomatic expressions.

It’s a shame because Lauren Cohan is in this, and I love her. But then again, basically every straight-to-DVD star in Hollywood is in this Crash-like disaster: Stallone, Grammer, Ryan Kwanten, Danny Trejo, Elizabeth Henstridge, Cary Elwes, Kevin Connelly, Thomas Jane, and Tom Sizemore, who I’m fairly certain has a rider in his contract stipulating that all his movies must premiere on Redbox. Sizemore really is the everyman to the guy picking up milk and a six-pack at the grocery store on a Friday night who has two hours to kill that he’ll probably use farting around on the Internet and never get around to watching that Redbox movie before he’s racked up $14 in fines.

And no, you didn’t even have to ask. Of course, Danny Aiello is in this.

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Comments Are Welcome, Bigots and Trolls Are Not

  • Bananapanda

    I'm pretty sure you mean Danny Trejo not Aiello (cause he's dead).

    It pains me to see Cary Elwes in this stuff. He should be hanging out with Colin Firth.

  • hapl0

    Oh, look, Terry Crews. How is this not going to be a good movie?

  • God Of Bal-Sagoth

    Dear god that looks just staggeringly boring.

  • stardust

    I made it through 41 seconds of the trailer before my brain began to dribble out my ears. Guh.

    Excellent title for the article, though. Worth the loss of gray matter.

  • Al Borland's Beard

    Danny Trejo is a Redbox institution. Every week, there's a new straight-to-DVD Trejo movie. My favorite was Bad Ass 2: Bad Asses, which tells me that this movie will definitely have more than one ass.

  • Sean

    Did you actually watch Bad Ass 2? If you did, how sorry did you feel for Danny Glover?

  • BWeaves

    That was a cheap crack at the movie title.

  • Al Borland's Beard

    No butts about it.

  • Sara_Tonin00

    I hope Cary Elwes doesn't owe money to the mob or something. I'd like him to just take a 6-month vacation, nothing fancy, just chill out for a little while, and tell his agency to get its shit together.

    ETA: DAMMIT. Now I see that one of Cary's brothers is a producer on this film. So maybe he did it as a favor....?

  • BWeaves

    Or because darling brother knows where the skeletons are buried.

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