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I Will See Your Statham, TK. And I'll Raise You a Farrell 2.0 (In Bruges Version)

By Dustin Rowles | Posted Under Trailers | Comments (17)

colin-farrell-n-boulevard.jpg

I’ve had the trailer for London Boulevard open in a browser tab for several days now, and I hadn’t been able to muster the enthusiasm to watch it. It was the title, if I’m being honest, as that’s almost all I knew about the movie, from William Monahan — the screenwriter behind The Departed and Kingdom of Heaven — making his directorial debut. It stars Colin Farrel, Keira Knightley, and Anna Friel, and it’s another British gangster flick, which — in the wake of Guy Ritchie — have gotten to be a little passé.

But then I saw the trailer. And Jesus Christ, what’s took me so long. It’s a goddamn fantastic trailer. Farrell is one of those guys who I like, but who I never really seek out, but then, I almost always end up digging his performances. Like In Bruges, another movie it took me a few months to convince myself to watch. And now it’s our 11th best movie of the Aughts. I don’t expect as much brilliance from London Boulevard, but even half of that, and it may be one of the year’s best. Unfortunately, for those of us in America, that year will be 2011 (it opens early next year), while those in Britain will get to enjoy it next month. Assholes.

Here’s the trailer:











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Comments

Colin Farrell: +1 million points
Ray Winstone a little type-cast but solid: +10 points
Keira Knightly managing to sound like she can't do a Brit accent when she's actually a Brit: -100 points
Cliched use of London Calling: -100 points
Colin Farrell looking at his most adorable when his eyebrows channel Bert from Sesame Street: +1 millions points.

Yes, it adds up to a win.

Posted by: PaddyDog at November 1, 2010 9:45 AM

I can not detect any bias whatsoever in Paddy's method of assigning points. It must be science.

Posted by: admin at November 1, 2010 10:10 AM

I'm sure it's a fantastic trailer, but then I saw Chuck from Pushing Dasies. So of course the next several minutes were taken up with comparing Colin Farrell's eyebrows with Lee Pace's eyebrows. And I don't remember much after that.

Posted by: Shibuyama at November 1, 2010 10:24 AM

"You're an accessory. It's a bit like being married." Well, OK.

Posted by: Jerry Kenney at November 1, 2010 10:36 AM

admin:

I'll have you know it's a finely honed statistical method that Nate Silver would kill for if I were willing to sell.

Posted by: PaddyDog at November 1, 2010 10:44 AM

I want to see this movie so badly. I've been trying to think of a better way to say it, because that sentence alone doesn't seem worth contributing to discussion, but I really can't. It may be Colin Farrell's alternating adorableness and badassery distracting me. There's an 85% chance I'll spend the rest of the day muttering "Fucking Bruges" to myself.

Posted by: esme at November 1, 2010 11:40 AM

Dear Keira;

Blonde. Drop the mullet. Repeat previous statements about 'aving anutha sammich, guv. You look like a hockey player cozied up to the model skeleton in high school biology class.

Thanks,
Men

p.s. We do enjoy this turn in Colin Farrell's career. You've almost paid us back for Alexander.

Posted by: D-Day at November 1, 2010 12:23 PM

I've gone over PaddyDog's math and found it to be sound.

Colin.

Tee hee hee.

Hee.

Tee hee hee.

Farrell.

It's a good thing I climbed into the gorilla suit at the mention of his name. Now you can't see that I'm flushed and the autonomic-reflex-Colin- Farrell-giggling is becoming somewhat muted.

Posted by: Mrs. Julien at November 1, 2010 12:27 PM

I was kind of meh with the trailer until the last thing Farrell said.

Posted by: DeistBrawler at November 1, 2010 12:55 PM

"...I am London Boulevard."

(yeah, that's a terrible title.)

Posted by: Yossarian at November 1, 2010 3:10 PM

"You don't want me to start being a gangster..." Fuck yes. Can't wait.

And the reason London Calling seems cliche is because it is such an awesome song it will forever be used.

Posted by: The Lola Monster at November 1, 2010 3:38 PM

You don't hafta to see this movie (or In Bruges). A'course ya don't hafta.

But you totally, totally should.

Posted by: RobP at November 1, 2010 3:38 PM

Don't get me wrong Lola. London Calling is in my top ten songs of all time, but it is a complete cliche to use it in the soundtrack to a film set in London. Pure, absolute and lazy cliche.

Posted by: PaddyDog at November 1, 2010 3:51 PM

OK, I know she's skinny and all, but that Picture of Keira is still about the hottest thing I've ever seen.

Posted by: Dave at November 1, 2010 5:54 PM

There is a certain sameness to British gangster movies. This trailer doesn't seem to offer anything new except a well-known cast.

The choice of London Calling is just marketing to the masses. Like using a Stones song in a TV commercial.

Posted by: James S at November 1, 2010 7:42 PM

How on earth does Keira Knightly keep getting work? To be honest, I think she may keep me away from this as she's so bloody awful.

Posted by: Simon at November 2, 2010 1:07 PM

what's the song that plays in the first few minutes/title of the trailer?

Posted by: nat at November 6, 2010 1:35 PM