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I Hope They Serve Meth in Hell Along with the Beer

By Dustin Rowles | Posted Under Trailers | Comments (26)



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Calling someone who knows they are a racist, homophobic, misogynistic piece of shit a racist, homophobic misogynistic piece of shit only feeds their ego. Tucker Max knows exactly what he is. He’s proud of it. He knows that the movie coming out that’s based on his book is a heaping pile of fermented excrement, too. He’s just as proud of that, because he knows at the end of the day, he’s got a big fat movie check coming to him and enough vapid, twice-tarded blonde pieces of twit flesh to go home to and fuck, which he’ll then brag about on his website to the slavering, meatsack troglodytes who read it.

Insulting Tucker Max is counterproductive. It’s self-defeating. For example, last month, when the green band trailer for his movie, I Hope They Serve Beer in Hell debuted, Dan wrote up a withering attack on the guy, stating in part: “Watching the trailer makes you realize that there are some depths to which not even Dane Cook would sink; it is that bad, that shameful, that bracing, that depressing.”

And wouldn’t you know, the next day I saw (through our referrals) that Tucker Max had posted that line, in addition to several others from other movie websites, on his own website, basically boasting that everybody thinks his movie his shit. Again, not that he cares: He’s got a significant enough fan base of date rapists and Klan members to recoup the $27 investment. His fans don’t really want entertainment — they just want validation. Someone who will validate their pathetic little existences, make them feel like something more than the onerous little peons they are before they go home and masturbate themselves to sleep.

The truth, however, is that — based on the newly released red-band trailer — I Hope They Serve Beer in Hell looks worse than offensive. It looks boring. If you’ve seen more than a few minutes of the straight-to-DVD National Lampoon’s movie or the endless stream of American Pie sequels, then you’ve already seen most of They Serve Beer in Hell. It’s not shocking. Or appalling. It’s tedious. It’s trite, gross-out mundanity designed to get your dander up.

But you know what? Who cares? Tucker Max may be a vile, contemptible cum stain on the collar of humanity, but his movie just looks dull. You need a certain level of competence to offend an audience; that doesn’t exist here. It’s just tiresome — it’s hard to be shocked and appalled when you’re half asleep.









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Comments

I don't even know who this guy is...never heard of him. When I first saw the header picture I thought (in horror) it was a picture of Heidi and Spencer. *shudder

Posted by: Whorish Mouth at September 17, 2009 11:19 AM

I'm not even going to watch it. Like you said DR, I've seen it all before.

As an aside, Dane Cook is coming to my little chunk of Canadiananana and so is George W. Bush. Thank you for spreading your assholish douchery to other countries America. Don't worry, I'll get you back.

Posted by: admin at September 17, 2009 11:21 AM

You know, you can spit on me all you want, but Tucker Max is actually pretty funny. Is he an asshole? Absolutely. Does the way he treats women make the feminist in me cringe? Sure. But I laughed my way through his whole book.

Granted, it's easy humor. I don't marvel at his ability to make my giggle with stories of blow jobs and drunken mishaps, that stuff is inherently pretty funny. He's not a great writer, but the dude can tell a great story.

Also, he's smart. The dude went to University of Chicago, he knows what he's doing. He most certainly is the asshole he appears to be, but he knows the more he plays it up, the more his book is gonna sell, the more his movie's gonna make.

So I dunno, maybe I'm just playing right into his hand, but there's no point denying he's funny just because you hate him.

Posted by: buttercup at September 17, 2009 11:22 AM

Dane Cook wakes up every morning, looks in the mirror, and says to himself, "Well, I may be a contemptible cockroach, and a pus infected herpes blister on the dickhead of humanity, but at least I'm not Tucker Max, that guy's a real douchebag. ...

....

....

....

...How does it go again...?

...Oh, right.

...SANGWITCH!"

Posted by: George at September 17, 2009 11:26 AM

Hmm, well I was going to comment but it looks like the trailer has been pulled.

It must really be boring!

Posted by: UncleJR at September 17, 2009 11:34 AM

Meh. Hero to frat boys, gel-haired club guys, and the types who come out of bars at closing time shouting "Wooooooooooo!!", he's just the latest proof of the correctness of a classic Calvin and Hobbes cartoon where Calvin posits that he believes it's a myth that taste bottoms out at some point; you can always go lower he suggests (and this was BEFORE the internet even).

Posted by: Jacktrade at September 17, 2009 11:35 AM

Whatta fucknuckle. Didn't he try to pick a fight with Michael Ian Black? I mean, granted, Black is a friggin' doofus, but still...

This movie's gonna be in theaters for all of a week, it'll do nothing as far as DVD sales go, and in ten years time, Max'll be working a used car lot trying to bang the nineteen year old receptionist before heading home to down four fingers of scotch and revisiting his "memoirs" of the frat-twat days...

Unless he gets hit by a bus. That'd be cool too...

Posted by: Skitz at September 17, 2009 11:42 AM

@ Whorish Mouth

My thoughts exactly:

Is that Spencer and Heidi?
*clicks on review*
Who is Tucker Max?

And I don't even know who Spencer & Heidi are outside of internet gossip websites.

Posted by: missh at September 17, 2009 11:59 AM

The book was funny but the movie looks like a piece of shit. As for all the hate: I don't know...give yourself a hug or something...it'll get better, puddin'.

Posted by: laredo at September 17, 2009 12:07 PM

I'm going to have to agree with buttercup on this one. I thought the book was fucking hilarious, and I even have a vag. I mean, I almost don't blame him for his POV on women; have you READ the book? The women in that book are fucking nuts. It doesn't necessarily okay make it ok, a few stories didn't exactly sit well with me, but oh my god... I mean this guy has slept with literally thousands of women. All willingly. There is obviously something wrong with our fairer sex. But I take issue with everyone saying his only audience is frat guys. I think I lost track of my point in here somewhere...

Oh, that being said, is he an asshole? Hell yes. Does this movie look good? Hell NO. Will I be seeing it? FUCK no.

I'll go ahead and hand in my Pajiba & female cards...

Posted by: Cruise at September 17, 2009 12:09 PM

he’s got a big fat movie check coming to him and enough vapid, twice-tarded blonde pieces of twit flesh to go home to and fuck
---
Um, I'm trying to see the downside here ... Nope, not seeing it.

Posted by: , (TCFKAB) at September 17, 2009 12:10 PM

I'm guessing I was the only one who at the end thought he was about to get a blumpkin. Before the stupid running across a hotel squeezing his ass cheeks together.

Posted by: DeistBrawler at September 17, 2009 12:25 PM

Tucker Max is a unique phenomenon. I don't think anyone will witness again the amount of self-hatred that man has. Seriously, read some of his more surreal stories and you will notice that he is aware that he is a contemptible human being, that he hates himself for it, and that because of this hatred he keeps doing it. It is like he is punishing himself for each horrible thing he does by doing something more horrible. Worst part about it is that people find it entertaining...now THAT is perverse...

Posted by: Brian at September 17, 2009 1:17 PM

I just don't get the Tucker Max love.
I'm a guy. I like a little dick/fart humor once in a while. I loved "The Hangover" and chuckled at "Super Trooper".
Tucker Max, though... I don't get the appeal. Rather than laugh at his scatological stuff, I get nauseous. His descriptions of women and the beahviors (he woulld have us believe that) he inflicts on them are cheap, demeaning and utterly tasteless. His racism is just plain indefensible.
Some of you enjoy his stuff and that's okay.
I just don't get it.

Posted by: Spender at September 17, 2009 2:17 PM

Christ I hope this dude ODs from j-bombs while an Asher Roth album plays in endless repeat in the background.

Posted by: faze at September 17, 2009 2:22 PM

Cruise - perhaps the women in his book are fucking nuts because he targets emotionally unstable women who are oftentimes drunk. Some of his toilet humor stories are funny I'll grant you that but they're not funny enough for me to overlook his overwhelming attitude of hate for almost everyone and everything.

Posted by: zombeye at September 17, 2009 2:28 PM

Haven't read his book, but the stories on his website (whether true or not) are pretty well written. As I read them, I was thinking "what a turd" but before I knew it I couldn't stop reading them. He definitely can write in a way that makes you want to keep reading.

That said, so he--or what he professes to be--may be a douche, but he knows how to market himself.

Posted by: Bd at September 17, 2009 2:38 PM

Well now I feel sick after watching that.

Matt Czuchry's gonna have to earn back my respect after this. I really enjoyed him on Gilmore Girls as Logan.

Even so I won't touch this with a ten foot pole.

Posted by: grace b at September 17, 2009 7:06 PM

Admitted didn't watch the trailer, but:

Oh, Logan. No.

Posted by: Jo 'Mama' Besser at September 17, 2009 7:50 PM

Hey, it's Logan from Gilmore Girls, appearing as Logan from Gilmore Girls after Rory quite rightly dumped his ass as Tucker Max.

The guy has a great range, playing asshole after asshole! Quiet at the back, you know what I mean.

Posted by: frank at September 17, 2009 10:46 PM

If you hate Tucker Max check out this video of Opie and Anthony making him look like an idiot. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mAbreeMofRg

I couldn't believe how much of a little nerdy twat this guy sounds like. He's a liar, none of the shit he talks about ever happened.

Posted by: roXet at September 18, 2009 10:04 AM

I saw this trailer before some feature in the theatre a few weeks ago, and I was stunned. What WAS that piece of crap, I wondered, to myself. Aloud, I said, "I want to kill that movie." But that gives the movie just a little too much credit. I will amend my desire: I want that movie to starve, slowly, and crawl into a corner of a dark place to whimper and die without witnesses.

Posted by: Tira at September 18, 2009 11:58 AM

I'm glad to recommend you _______WealthySocial.COM______ to search them out! we have more than 1200,000 members including: lawyer,CEO,manager,model,actor,doctor,hollywood celebrities,althlets,investors.
It is totally Romance to communicate with each other,money is not important!

Posted by: millionairegirl at September 18, 2009 12:24 PM

I was going to say something. But then I realized I didn't care.

Posted by: tiddo at September 18, 2009 2:47 PM

You know, the problem I have with this is that he seems... smart on his website. Yes, his stories are about alcohol fueled shit shows, and I don't like his behavior, but at least he can string two sentences together. His on-screen rendition seems like he couldn't find his way out of a paper bag. Or something.

Posted by: KHA at September 19, 2009 12:53 PM

Wow. I mean, I've read some of his blog, and found it to be pretty funny some of the time. This movie, however, looks so fucking bad, I'm not sure I can read his stuff again.
Just, wow.

Posted by: chayes at September 21, 2009 12:43 PM


















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