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I Can't Believe It's Not '300': 'Hercules: The Legend Begins'

By Jodi Clager | Trailers | November 26, 2013 | Comments ()


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Man, that Kellan Lutz, am I right? Dude is a magnificent actor on par with January Jones or that guy that doesn’t know how to walk from Birdemic. I think Lutz made two different facial expressions in this trailer: a knowing smirk that lets people know he will kick their ass and a knowing smirk that lets people know he’s about to score some princess. You may want to pay the extra so all of that action and emoting can be right in your face! Zapp and Troy: The Legendary Journeys Hercules: The Legend Begins slides stone-faced into theaters January 10, 2014.

You can’t see me right now, but I’m emotioning with my face. My emotional smirk that says this is going to suck.



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  • Welldressed

    The problem with this film is, it doesn't know it's audience. 300 made a lot of money because it was new and exiting, not because it fit a particular formula. Nowadays, if they want to fit the 300 formula, they should just admit that the audience wants soft-core gay romance, and occasional bloodshed, not Kellan Lutz, and massive bloodshed. That's just missing the point.

  • Nat

    ... But... Dwaine Johnson is filming a Hercules movie... Why does anything else even bother existing?

  • St

    God that is just so ridiculously bad. You can literally see how poor Kellan guy is saying those voice over words and jumps in slo mo and thinks that he looks as cool as Gladiator and 300 actors. But he so laughably bad, like this is some NG or History channel documentary. And even there acting is better and everything looks more epic and realistic.

    While this looks like it’s some Disney channel movie for 13 years old kids that is played by 16 years old teens. I wonder about the budget. Because this will bomb so hard. It will have some 4 millions on opening and then will finish with some 7 million overall. This should have got strait to Lifetime channel.

  • Bob Genghis Khan

    So his name would be abbreviated KLutz

  • Helo

    I call shenanigans - Lutz looks NOTHING like Kevin Sorbo, yo.

  • Mrs. Julien

    Is it just me or is Kellan Lutz the natural successor to Ryan Phillipe? They have matching "I'd try to bang a bridesmaid at my own wedding" vibes.

  • St

    You did not just compare Ryan Philippe to THIS. Ryan is blond too and have abs. But he can be descent actor when he wants and have right script. People think he is douche (and maybe he is is who knows) but there is absolutely nothing in common between those two. Kellan Lutz has zero acting talent.

  • Helo

    In all fairness to Phillippe, he seems to be aware of what you're saying and using it to his advantage in his finer performances (Cruel intentions, The Lincoln Lawyer)...

    Lutz just might as well shift the first letter of his last name 4 entries down the alphabet.

  • Mrs. Julien
  • I thought for a second that he was going to go the entire trailer without a line of dialogue. They probably should have stuck with that.

  • NateMan

    1. That looks just terrible. I can't believe they're going to send that to theaters.
    2. Those are some REALLY blonde Greeks.
    3. Hercules was a douche. That was kind of his whole appeal.
    4. What shit.

  • Irina

    Yea, no.

  • LB

    Um, he also has a "clenching muscles to fight or poop" face. Let's not discount that facet.

  • First of all, they're making another Hercules movie with The Rock in the lead, who, you know, everyone believes is a more fitting Hercules than Kellan Lutz.

    More importantly...a Hercules without Kevin Sorbo?? GET THE FUCK OUTTA HERE!!

  • alannaofdoom

    Is it just me, or is this REMARKABLY poorly edited? Come on guys, any 20-year-old knows how to use Final Cut Pro now. Hire an intern, why don't you?

  • Misa

    I watched the Lord of the Rings 12 years ago (argh!) for the first time and it's incredible, even for Hollyweird's standards, how many movies have copied it's imagery since and how little this is pointed out.
    Hero's lover gives him a (magical?) necklace, putting it around his neck herself? Check. Random running with horses? Check. Dude destroys half an army with a hamm--- ops, with a whip-made-of-lightning? Check. Epic battle at a castle, during a rainy night, with archers? Check.
    Add: random gladiator-ing (by Jove, do they even know that Hercules was a GREEK mythological hero? more than 1000 years older than the first roman emperor?) and 300-ing, terrible (OMG! Kristen Stewart is a thespian in comparison!!!) acting by the male lead, trite story...

    Like somebody already said, wasn't the source material (greek myth) enough? It's original yet archetypical, fun yet moving (SPOILERS: true love doesn't always win), and the gods are awesome.

    *sigh*.

  • Ben

    A lot of those are were tropes before lord of the rings ya know?

  • Mrs. Julien

    I actually used the first three Star Wars movies to help me learn my Joseph Campbell The Hero with a Thousand Faces tropes.

  • Ben

    I watched this trailer waiting for the rock to show up, before realizing disappointingly (Or or relived, considering the quality of this movie) that he is doing a different hercules movie.

  • Bob Genghis Khan

    ...directed by Ratner

  • Ben

    shhh, this will be the movie that makes him the action star he deserves to be. I need to believe.

  • emmalita

    He isn't already? Which action star does he deserve to be?

  • Ben

    one that has his own franchise. Or at the very least one that isn't doing "Journey 3: From Earth to the moon"

  • lowercase_ryan

    Kellan Lutz looks like someone dumb enough to actually pick the name Kellan Lutz.

  • Irina

    At least it's better than Kellan Salchow?
    I'll go away now.

  • Mrs. Julien

    6.0 6.0 6.0 6.0 6.0

  • manting

    am I way off or did they totally retcon the Hercules Myth? Why the fuck do you have to change a mythos that contains wrestling an unkillable lion to death, poison cloaks, madness, several rage murders, diverting a river to clean some stables, killing the hydra, capturing and bringing back Cerberus the 3 headed guardian hound of hell and tons more including killing a massive sake while still in the crib. I mean like a babies crib because when herc was like 2 months old he killed a big ass snake that crept into his crib. This movie looks like a bad Conan nock off.

  • alannaofdoom

    Not enough scantily-clad princesses in the original. What are you, NEW? ;)

  • manting

    actually there were plenty. Herc regularly cheated on his wife which is why she gave him the poisoned cloak that led to him building his own funeral pyre and self immolating to escape the pain. Shit I just sounded like a total mythology nerd didn't I? Damn you Edith Hamilton, damn you to hell.

  • Irina

    His wife was tricked into giving him a cloak she thought would make him fall back in love with her, she didn't do it to kill him. But yes, your argument stands.

  • manting

    she was tricked into using the centaurs blood (the centaur who attempts to rape her and then Herc kills him with his arrows) believing it was love potion but it was in fact poison (poison from the hydra that Herc used on his arrows) but you are right, she didn't want to kill him. The centaur (cant remember his name, I want to say Rapey the lying ass centaur) lied to her and told her his blood was a love potion. Don't know why you would trust a centaur that just tried to rape you. Its something Sansa Stark would do.

  • Mrs. Julien

    This entire exchange is reason 34582348.2 I love Pajiba. There used to be 8372120347.96 reasons, but times change.

  • bastich

    Dear Hollywood,

    Please stop dickin' around and just make us a "God of War" movie already.

    Hugs and Kisses,

    Me

  • Tatertot

    It makes me appreciate Lou Ferrigno all the more.

  • Fabius_Maximus

    At least he has an excuse for his mumbling.

  • bleujayone

    Just for shits and giggles, I turned off the sound on the trailer and played Nine Inch Nails' "Just Like You Imagined".... Not surprisingly, it fit.

    Then it got weird.

    I then played the audio from the "300" trailer. And that too synched up surprisingly well right down to the lightning flashes. With a little fine tuning it would have been damn near perfect in much the same way Pink Floyd's "Dark Side of the Moon" seems to dovetail with "The Wizard of Oz"

  • chris

    THIS IS(n't) SPARTA!!!!

  • Guest

    How will this be worse than Agents of S.H.I.T.?

  • bastich

    That sounds like the title of a horrifying "SHIELD" porn parody.

  • Quatermain

    It's a German fetish video crossover.

  • bastich

    "Watch out, true believers! It's Defecatin' Time!"

  • bleujayone

    I thought that was called Agents of P.A.N.T.Y.S.H.I.E.L.D.?

  • Quatermain

    And God only knows what -that- acronym stands for.

  • Wōđanaz Óðinn

    Really thought the trolls 'round here took more pride in their work.
    COME on!

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  • Mrs. Julien

    Oh, the irony.

  • manting

    you gotta go to aintitcoolnews for the trolls. They are everywhere on their message boards. Pajiba is mainly troll free which is a testament to the quality of the moderators on here.

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