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I Bet Possessed Women Are Awesome in Bed

By Dustin Rowles | Posted Under Trailers | Comments (18)

lastexorcist.jpg

Somebody should make a movie about an exorcism preacher who — when faced with a possessed woman — decides, rather than perform an excorcism, to sleep with her. I mean: Come one. Possessed women can contort in all those fun ways, and I bet head-spinning could come in handy at some point. Plus: All that demonic aggression. Imagine the possibilities!

In the meantime, you’ll have to settle for the trailer for The Last Exorcism, an Eli Roth-produced horror film directed by Daniel Stamm. It has some nice imagery working for it (in the trailer, at least), but there’s really nothing else new here. Patrick Fabian is the lead in it, too. He plays the exorcism preacher. And if you’ve seen a lot of Patrick Fabian, you know he’ll probably end up being the bad guy. He always does.










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Comments

"I Bet Possessed Women Are Awesome in Bed"

Backdoor Beauties 6: Girls Who Can Rotate Their Heads 360 Degrees!

Posted by: D-Day at May 26, 2010 11:06 AM

At the end of the trailer, an ad for that movie "Killers" with Katherine Heigl played that I could not make stop.

Do you really need any more evidence that the devil is alive and well?

Posted by: Kayanne at May 26, 2010 11:21 AM

I think it looks pretty good. You're right, nothing new, but it doesn't look like gore-porn so that's a plus for me.

Posted by: admin at May 26, 2010 11:26 AM

You know, this looks pretty good.

Posted by: dammitjanet at May 26, 2010 11:39 AM

I'm just grateful they didn't use this as yet another way to butcher Louisiana accents.

And of COURSE Fabian's the bad guy. He tried to steal Kelly from Zack in Saved by the Bell the College Years. What a bastard.

Posted by: Ashlie at May 26, 2010 11:54 AM

Sadly we all know how this movie will go from the many other exorcism movies/shows:

- Scary noises/whispers around the house
- Cute female (they're always female) begins acting weird but no one believes her
- Cute female gets possessed
- Cute female's family can't deal with possession
- Priest is called
- Priest battles demon inside cute female. Lots of praying ensues with "Mom sucks cocks in hell" retorts.
- Priest beats demon before sunrise
- Demon leaves cute female
- AC/DC plays the closing credits.

Posted by: Fredo at May 26, 2010 11:57 AM

So you're really advocating Sexorcism then?

Posted by: Odnon at May 26, 2010 1:07 PM

I guess I'll choose now to delurk because no one has brought this up yet and it's kind of bothering me, but does anyone else think the girl being exorcised looks distractingly like Michael Cera?

Posted by: Jocelyn at May 26, 2010 1:30 PM

Crap, Jocelyn, she totally does.

Some helpful tips to avoid demonic possession:
1) Don't live in the boonies.
2) Don't be a girl.
3) Don't have long hair.
4) Don't have pets.
5) Don't wear long flannel nightgowns.

Most of this looks lifted straight from The Exorcism of Emily Rose. But I'll still see it because I love exorcisms.

Posted by: DeadBessie at May 26, 2010 2:06 PM

Has nobody seen The XXXorcist? It was a parody porn of The Exorcist, made by the same people who did Re-Penetrator. It was... interesting, to say the least.

Posted by: Neonlexicon at May 26, 2010 2:14 PM

I really think all the exorcisms were/are a way for pedo/pervy priests to get some indirect action. because the possessed stories are never about some old guy, or some old grandma or some generic adult. It's usually young girls, young women, and a bit less often, young boys.

Posted by: diane at May 26, 2010 2:18 PM

Count me in.

The idea of possession and exorcisms is probably one of the only things that really spooks me any more and when I saw the poster for this earlier today, showing Nell bending all the way backwards, I was IN like Sin baby

Posted by: Nadine at May 26, 2010 2:46 PM

^
I know the actress playing Nell and she really did the bending backwards for the film and poster, no special effects used.

Fun Fact: her father is Michael Bell, prolific voice actor through the 80's (Transformers, GI Joe, Smurfs, Parkay Butter commercials). He currently does many video games. Read through his IMDB page, you're bound to recognize at least 10 things he's lent his voice to.

Posted by: zyzzyva at May 26, 2010 4:39 PM

@Nadine

"In like Sin." What a delightful phrase. I am totally going to steal it.

Posted by: androstarr at May 26, 2010 4:51 PM

"has performed over 47 exorcisms"
---
Well, I'm guessing it ain't 1,000,000,047 so why the fuck not just say "48"?

Posted by: , at May 27, 2010 1:10 AM

- AC/DC plays the closing credits.

Posted by: Fredo at May 26, 2010 11:57 AM
---
I'm there.

It was one of those nights
When you turn down the lights
And everything comes into view.

Posted by: , at May 27, 2010 1:11 AM

I'll be glad when people quit making these "Blair Witch" type movies. They look like crap and they're hard to watch. Enough already!

Posted by: Jim at May 27, 2010 8:52 AM

In the novel THE EXORCIST, the devil in the girl's body does offer herself to the priest. But, you know if vagina dentata (sp?) could ever exist, it would be in a demon-possessed girl. So I'd pass.

Posted by: Pat C at May 27, 2010 7:50 PM