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How Far Would You Go to Give Your Child Some Inner Peace?

By Dustin Rowles | Posted Under Trailers | Comments (24)



horse480.jpg

I suspect this is a universal feeling for a lot of new parents, but when Mrs. Pajiba-hyphenate was pregnant, what we feared most was not Down’s, birth defects, or even mental retardation. It was autism (we were fortunate that it was none of the above). It seemed, in our minds, that we could deal with anything else. That we’d find a way to cope. But autism — I’d like to think that we’d be strong enough to deal with it, but I dunno. It turns child-raising from one full time job to two, and it felt like — perhaps — there’d be no reward, at least in our idea of autism: An emotionally detached child uncomfortable with and/or incapable of showing affection. That’s the worst fear: That we could smother our child with affection, but get nothing in return. It seems like everything else could be manageable — 11 toes, diabetes, MS, Down’s syndrome — because at least, at the end of the day, your kid will hug you.

Which brings me to this: The trailer for the documentary Horseboy, which is an awful title, but the trailer — especially if you’re a parent — may just knock you over. It’s about parents who discover that their child is autistic — he won’t even speak to them — but then find that their son, Rowen, finds some healing powers from being with … horses. It sounds like a ridiculous idea, but parents — they’ll do fucking anything for their kids. (Or, more selfishly, for a decent night of sleep). And these damn horses — well, they seem to have some sort of transformative power over their son.

It risks being very sentimental, but it seems like the sort of sentiment that’s earned — earned through years of caring for the child, years of sleepless nights, of frustration, and of sadness. I mean: It’s fucking real.

It looks like a remarkable film, and the trailer just might hit you in the sternum.










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Comments

Can't. Just can't. I start watching this sort of thing, next thing you know, I'm crying in public. I have a reputation to maintain.

Posted by: Smokin at October 12, 2009 11:04 AM

I hear ya. Autism wasn't anything we were thinking about while I was preggers, but after hanging out with some of our friends with autistic children...man, that would have done us in. As a couple, as individuals...every which way. 1 out of 150 children are born with autism in this country today...an epidemic number I find staggering.

Thanks for bringing this documentary to mainstream attention. I would have missed it otherwise.

Posted by: Ms. Mix & Bitch at October 12, 2009 11:11 AM

Honest to God, I almost cried reading the write-up. Thank goodness your trailer links almost never work in my office...

Posted by: Patty O'Green at October 12, 2009 11:22 AM

Woaahhhh this looks good.

Should probably track down the book.

Posted by: grace b at October 12, 2009 11:25 AM

1 out of 150 children are born with autism in this country today...an epidemic number I find staggering.

Me too. Especially since I don't think I even heard of autism before Rain Man. I wonder whether it is partly because there is such a wide range of what gets diagnosed as autism. Some seem to truly be in their own world, while some would have been labeled shy or withdrawn back when I was a kid.

Posted by: ed newman at October 12, 2009 11:43 AM

shhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh. I'm 6 months pregnant. I am worrying enough already and I hadn't even considered autism. Now I'm worried about autism too.
I just want the little fella/fella-ess out of there so I can make sure all is good and dandy.

Posted by: missh at October 12, 2009 11:47 AM

1 in 150 kids are born with autism? Holy crap, I need to get a vasectomy.

Posted by: Lucas at October 12, 2009 12:21 PM

finds some healing powers is being with … horses. It sounds like a ridiculous idea

It's actually not ridiculous at all. The non-profit I work for throws several fundraisers throughout the year, and the last couple of years, all the funds they raise are going toward building a huge indoor equestrian center that can be used year-round by our clients (who have a wide range of disabilities, including autism spectrum disorders). Horses are used in a number of therapeutic situations, for both physical and emotional disabilities.

Anyway, thanks for bringing this to our attention. I'll have to see if anyone here has heard of it... perhaps they'd like it.

Posted by: Anna von Beaverpuppet at October 12, 2009 12:31 PM

I have a child with Autism. I can't watch this. I already feel guilty enough without thinking; if only I could whisk my child away to the middle of nowwhere with a shaman and some horses, he,too, would be well.
It is tough, I mean, crazy tough, but he is a very loving, funny, adorable kid. I wish I was a better parent for him. I wish love was enough.

Posted by: debi at October 12, 2009 12:44 PM

I can't quote what scientific experiments were done, but I do recall reading somewhere many years ago that act of riding a horse somehow aligns your spine and body in a way that allows the body and mind to be in harmony. At the time, I loved the mysticism and romance of it all. But it's hard to argue with results. It can be absolutely staggering what these gentle giants are capable of doing to sick children with their mere presence.
And adults - if you ever watch a documentary on 'horse whispering' you'll see hardened criminals come utterly undone when a wild mustang 'joins up' - shit, I'm tearing up just thinking about it.

Posted by: Stella at October 12, 2009 12:58 PM

Horses, like dogs, are able to connect with people sometimes in a way that other people can't. It has to be the reason for the exceptionally high insanity factor in the horse lover community. (Kidding, sort of. There are some crazy bitches in the horse world). Animal therapy works wonders not only on the physically or mentally challenged, but also has been shown to be an effective rehabilitation tool on prisons. It has to do with empathy, I think. Sometimes we just need them.

There is something about the outside of a horse that is good for the inside of a man. ~Winston Churchill

Posted by: Lindsey with an 'e' at October 12, 2009 12:59 PM

Ooooofff yep, right in the god damned sternum.

I admit, I dont have kids, but I've thought about it, and yeah, from what i've seen, most everything would seem like a cakewalk compared to autism.
If you ever want to genuinely hurt your own soul, google or youtube tribute videos by parents to their autistic children.
Just beautiful and heartbreaking.
I will be seeing this if its available in the UK, you can bet on that

Posted by: Nadine at October 12, 2009 1:33 PM

That 1 in 150 number has recently been upped to 1 in 100.

Posted by: Cindy at October 12, 2009 1:37 PM

My sister is autistic and I worry about it all the time and I'm not even pregnant yet. God forgive me, but after living with her for eighteen years and all the emotional trauma that goes with it, I don't know if I could raise a child with it, I just don't know.

Posted by: scorzi at October 12, 2009 1:53 PM

After watching the video, I'm still confused about *why* they had to go all
the way to Mongolia to persue a new link with / for their child. I mean that
in a stricly literal sense btw, not schnarky. There are horse therapy programs, shamans and other holistic (and truly alternative) avenues to persue 'at home'.

I've never wanted children {my maternal / heart / soul parts have always been fulfilled by my work with dogs & cats}... and I can hardly begrudge any parent
with a child with a condition in wanting to do all/anything they can to help thier
kid. I'm just thinking that they might have been able to save themselves some money .... Shoot, this isn't coming off right on what I'm attempting to convey.
Sorry about that guys / gals.


Whilst we're on the topic of Autism, animals and theraputic success(es?)...
I'd like to suggest the reading some of the information on, and books written
by, a woman name Temple Grandin. 'Animals makes Us Human' and 'Animals
in Translation' are two of her best known books.

Posted by: Ms MoMo at October 12, 2009 2:32 PM

Ohhhhh, I shouldn't have watched that.

I can understand the desperate want to communicate. My brother isn't autistic, but he has severe Cerebral Palsy and is unable to talk (he's also blind). He really has no way to communicate, it's up to us to translate the bare bones of what he can give us. Just once, I would love to know what my brother is thinking. Or even have any kind of real clue about who he is.

Posted by: myysharona (formerly Sharon) at October 12, 2009 2:57 PM

As a Mongol, I'm gonna have to watch this movie. We love those goddamn horses.

Posted by: sailboat at October 12, 2009 3:10 PM

I got you, Ms. MoMo. I thought the same thing. Then I checked the book out on Amazon and found this:

One of the reasons the trip to Mongolia was so beneficial was that Rowan could explore lots of fascinating things such as horses, streams, plants, and animals in an environment that was QUIET. The Mongolian pastureland was a quiet environment free of the things that overload the sensory system of a child with autism. There were no florescent lights or constant noise and echoes.

Ironically enough, written by Temple Grandin in her review of the book. And it does make sense, for those that can afford it, I suppose; noise and stimulus levels in the U.S. are ridiculous and near-inescapable.

Posted by: Anna von Beaverpuppet at October 12, 2009 3:20 PM

Thank you Anna von B {btw, the addition of 'puppet' since the Mel G new
movie thread is just awesome} for understanding what I'd meant.

Duh on my part re the peace and quiet. It makes perfect sense [warm smile].
Great point re the ambient BS noise almost everywhere one might go (ok,
those of you in Montana & Newfoundland, give me a break on this one).
Until you really get out and away from all of it, you truly don't realize the
shear bombardment we suffer through. I took a one way 7 day cruise to Alaska
once and just about signed on the crew, I loved it so much. Just feeling the quiet reach your bones. I happen to be especially sensitive
to things of this nature (but often don't mention it, as some people give me
crap about not having a true / diagnosed type 'condition'. It's hard for me to
do my work sometimes. Public movie theatres. Shopping malls. Trust me
though, I've done the Drs, tests, therapies and research and it goes on and on.
It's no wonder I've found my heart and some solace with working with
animals (at least in my volunteer time. If only I could find something that
involves a living wage)

At any rate, I'm definetly 'in' on seeing this movie. I'm sure that I'll be moved
beyond belief.

Posted by: Ms MoMo at October 12, 2009 4:05 PM

Debi, I would think that you wanting the best for your child goes a hell of a long way towards making you a better parent.
My hat is off to you and your adorable little boy. 'The toughest job you'll ever love' should be the motto of the Parent, but doubly so for parents of kids with special needs. I am truly humbled by people like you.

Posted by: Stella at October 12, 2009 5:35 PM

My 8-year-old niece is autistic, and she likes cars. Whenever she throws a tantrum, my brother takes her out on a ride. Unfortunately, she will never be able to drive a car on her own.

Posted by: Namhin at October 12, 2009 6:11 PM

I am a crazy horse-bitch. Most of my friends are too, and one happens to be a therapist using equine-assisted therapy. She has had very good luck with her Arabians and kids with mostly emotional problems (in her practice). Hell, horses can do wonders on people who are "normal"...then again, I don't really know any "normal" horsepeople...Looks like a must watch.

Posted by: k8wma at October 12, 2009 6:13 PM

They had me at the Cinematic Orchestra. I probably would've teared up watching it anyway, but did they really have to use that song? Didn't stand a chance.

Posted by: Austin asking for trouble at October 12, 2009 10:46 PM

Autism is now 1 in 91 children and 1 in 50 males. I am a special ed teacher - with only children with autism... and parents should be worried! It isn't getting any better... we need to find something to help these children!

Posted by: Georgia at October 14, 2009 2:23 PM


















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