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'Homefront' Trailer: Statham. Franco. Which One Will Get Flogged With a Kitchen Utensil?

By Mike Roorda | Trailers | September 13, 2013 | Comments ()


franco-statham-homefront-set.jpg

Jason Statham’s movie career shot out of the gate aided by the amazing one two punch of Lock, Stock and Two Smoking Barrels and Snatch. He was built like a brick shithouse and could apparently school some fools with nothing more than a suit coat or rolled up magazine as a weapon. Then The Transporter rolled around and America realized that apparently they really, and I mean really liked watching Statham school some fools. Preferably shirtless and showing off that muscular and unwaxed barrel he calls a chest.

This is where our story takes a turn for the worse. Gradually, oh so gradually, Hollywood bled all of the plot out of all of Statham’s movies and increased the amount of Stathaming he does by a factor of ten. Essentially if you pare away motivations, character building, setting and any semblance of pacing you can see way more of him Stathaming the hell out of henchmen polite enough to run at him one at a time or in narrow hallways. There were the Crank films (both of them) the many Transporter sequels, the one with Ben Foster where he shoots some people in between the Stathamings that he also hands out. (That one was called The Mechanic. Aptly titled because he fixes people. With his fists.)

It’s really hard to fault the man though. He figured out early on what people wanted to see, and he’s been doing nothing but and taking our money ever since. Here’s the thing, though. I don’t really mind. His movies have become the cinematic equivalent of comfort food. Predictable and somewhat bland, but I always know what I’m getting. As someone who also secretly harbors a deep and abiding love for cheesy mid-90s action flicks, Statham’s recent body of work feels familiar and safe. Sometimes you don’t always want cheddar on your sandwich. Sometimes you want American Cheese.

This new trailer for Homefront (in addition to having nothing to do with the video game of the same name) gives me no reason to believe he’s deviating from his formula whatsoever. There looks like there might be marginally more plot involved in this one, but at the end of the day you know he’s gonna Statham the hell out of some bad guys who definitely deserve it and look vaguely peevish and disappointed while doing so.



But wait. What’s this? Was that… Was that James Goddamn Franco playing the guy who inevitably will get his face Stathamed off at some point? And also Kate Bosworth and Winona “I forgot it was in my pocket” Ryder? How many quarters do I have to feed into the side of my laptop before it prints tickets? If I could watch this right now and eat a piece of my mom’s lasagna at the same time I’m pretty sure I’d just slip into a blissful coma and die of smiling.







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Comments Are Welcome, Bigots and Trolls Are Not


  • ini5o

    No mention of "Revolver?" FOR SHAME.

  • Meggrs

    For the record: I never WANT American cheese.

  • Milly

    But when he gets the chance to do something slightly different, see The Bank Job, it doesn't make quite the same amount of cash (even though that is a good filum).

    I admire The Stath and his sazz wagon ((c) FilmDrunk) because he worked out what he's good at, what people want and that there is no one else that can do it.

    I was so excited at the end of 6 Fast 6 Furious seeing him striding out as the bad guy for the next instalment, and he is the only reason I have watched The Expendables.

    Oh, and from mates who have worked with him, there's nothing but praise for him. He is by all accounts a thoroughly good bloke.

  • Yocean

    So Statham is Neesoning too now. "If you loved Taken and Winter's Bone, that's a weird combination but worry no more! We have a movie for you too, weirdo! Jason Statham gonna kick some creepy hillbilly Herisenberg wanna be Franco ass in Homefront. Comes with a little Hit-Girl light and Winnona Ryder "acting" a criminal too! Buy tickets now!"

  • They should have known better than to kidnap his daughter. Didn't they see what Liam Neeson did to the people who took his daughter? What do they think Jason Statham is going to do?

    (For the purposes of this comment, all movie bad guys inhabit the same universe. They have a Bad Guy union. It probably meets in the Mos Eisley cantina.)

  • Mrs. Julien

    JT Walsh was their President until his untimely passing. Clancy Brown reluctantly stepped forward to oversee operations.

  • I always figured Powers Boothe would have seized power as President for Life years ago.

  • Conor

    SOLD!

    Franco gonna get Stafe'd!

    (Pronounce the above in an exaggerated cockney accent for correct effect)

  • TherecanbeonlyoneAdmin

    I just Stathamed all over myself.

  • Brooke Michelle

    I will happily sit through Statham Stathaming anything. And if it's Stathaming asshole rednecks? EVEN BETTER. But please, be shirtless.

  • Al Borland's Beard

    His shirtlessness is the source of his powers.

  • Also: check out that SCREENPLAY BY credit if you want to get really excited.

  • Feralhousecat

    If you want to see why Statham should never deviate from the Statham formula just sit through Redemption. The Stathamization of a drunk ballerina nun was not nearly as cool as it sounds.

  • MikeRoorda

    I've seen them all.

    That red dress? Worth the whole other hour and a half.

  • Al Borland's Beard

    I could watch Crank: High Voltage every day. It has absolutely everything I could want from a movie. Gratuitous sex on a horse track? Check. Nonsensical plot? Check. Giant Statham fighting henchman like old Godzilla movies? Fucking check!

  • Maguita NYC

    Preferred the first one. Although the second was quite enjoyable, the first one slayed me with its non-existent preliminaries, the wham-bam-thank-you-mam premise and thrilling action, and again, that motorcycle scene. I die every time I think of him standing up on his motorcycle.

  • Al Borland's Beard

    You really can't go wrong with either. I preferred the second one's amplification of all the ridiculousness. Also, the continuation of Glenn Howerton's hostage nurse from the first one was pretty great.

  • JenVegas

    I will pay ALL of the dollars to watch him Statham James Franco right in the face a bunch of times. Oh yeah. Do it.

  • Mrs. Julien

    I have never seen a Statham movie. I really need to rectify that oversight.

  • You really do. They're pure gold.

  • Jerce

    Yes. Yes, you do. Oh, yes.

  • Mrs. Julien

    Mr. Julien is away. I'll get right on it.

  • Maguita NYC

    The first Transporter and Crank.

    Crank made me laugh so hard, and fear for my friend's heart who just couldn't breathe anymore during the movie. Especially that scene on the motorcycle.

  • Mrs. Julien

    Suggestion noted! Is Transporter the one with the shot I've seen of him with the jumper cable?

  • Maguita NYC

    I believe that was Crank 2: High Voltage. Which is fun as well, but need to Crank 1 first.

  • Mrs. Julien

    Oh, I'll crank one alright.

  • Fabius_Maximus

    Don't bother with Crank 2. It manages to be shit despite Statham's presence.

  • Maguita NYC

    It wasn't that bad! It was just not as good as the first one. The first one...

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v...

  • Maguita NYC

    You'll need to half-way through the first one for sure.

  • Brooke Michelle

    He's a gorgeous slab of a man. Start with the early Brit crime movies like Snatch and Lock Stock & Two Smoking Barrels.

  • Mrs. Julien

    I have seen Lock, Stock etc. but it was years ago but I don't remember him.

    ETA: and yes, yes he is a gorgeous slab of a man. He's just so male.

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