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The Girl Who Loves Chocolate vs. the Girl Who Kicks High

Trailer Suck-Off IV / Dustin Rowles

Trailers | January 21, 2009 | Comments (38)

No kidding: The trailer for Chocolate is full-on retarded, but the girl with the martial arts skills? She’s bad ass. It’s hard to tell, exactly, what’s going on here: The girl, Zin, is autistic. She also loves M&Ms. And she can catch shit thrown at her face, like balls, and chocolate, and … flies. And apparently, she’s absorbed so many martial arts flicks that, when finally faced with an aggressor, girls snaps into a fit of ass-whoopin’. Here’s the trailer for Chocolate:


But, now I’m torn. Which looks like the more fun movie to watch? Chocolate or High Kick Girl? Have you seen the trailer for High Kick Girl? It’s about a girl. And she can kick high. And I know what you’re thinking. How high can she kick? Here’s my one word response: High.

Seriously: Watch it. See for yourself. She kicks really high!







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Comments

That's bullshit, people with autism are terrible at athletics. What a load, but the movie looks fun.

I'd still prefer to see High Kick Girl, it looks stupid without trying to take itself seriously. I like that.

Posted by: George at January 21, 2009 6:19 PM

But you forgot the best (or worse) part of Chocolate, the tagline:

"A special needs girl, with a special need...to kick ass."

You can't go putting these things up without all the information. It just isn't fair.

Posted by: Vermillion at January 21, 2009 6:40 PM

Pfft. I can do that. (no I can't.)

Posted by: s. pisaster at January 21, 2009 6:40 PM

If nothing else the two films present an amazing contrast between the traditional Japanese style martial arts and a kind of Muy Thai-ish art clearly stylized for the cinema. Chocolate looks like more fun but naturally both are silly.

Posted by: Neodiogenes at January 21, 2009 6:41 PM

The first 20 seconds of High Kick Girl are a hoot. The rest of it, meh.

Chocolate. Hands down. The footage of real injuries puts it way over the top.

Posted by: Jerce at January 21, 2009 6:46 PM

As someone with high functioning Autism (I'm not kidding), I can tell you for a fact that we are exactly like that.

Touch our M&M's and we will FUCK. YOUR. SHIT. UP!

Hmmm, an Autistic hero (albeit a stupidly inaccurate one) or... Japanese school girls kicking ass!

I'm going to have to get back to you on this one.

I mean clearly Chocolate is the better movie, better trailer, better martial arts... But... Japanese school girls!

Posted by: Bane at January 21, 2009 6:48 PM

Chocolate, hands down, though the concept is far more reprehensible. Hooray for Autism!

Posted by: Anonoguy at January 21, 2009 6:52 PM

OK, you have the conundrum of the quasipretentiousness (hooray triple word score) of Chocolate, but it has much much better martial arts sequences against the self mocking High Kick Girl with fighting that seems to consist of a lot of misses. Mostly hitting someone with their wrist or the inside of their leg, which hurts a lot less than the foot or fist. But High Kick girl has a High Kick girl. And Catholic school outfits, a popular look in the Rubble house....I look darling in my plaid skirt and ponytails.

Answer....fast forward Chocolate to the fight scenes. Watch HKG until you get tired of it.

Final thing - Has there been a porno yet where the autistic girl is proficient at blowjobs?

Posted by: Rubble44 at January 21, 2009 6:53 PM

"High Kick Girl" doesn't look like a real movie to me.
But "Chocolate" is from the dudes that brought us such ridiculous jems as "Ong Bak" and "The Protector".
So count me in for some Rainwoman ass kicking.

Plus i have this theory about martial arts films that the poorer the production company is, the better and more exciting the output.

Japan is just too loaded.

Posted by: Scott at January 21, 2009 6:53 PM

High Kick Girl. If for no other reason that she kicks so high while wearing those short schoolgirl skirts, and you can see a hint of High Kick Girl Underwear.

Yes, I'm a horrible person.

Posted by: Withnail at January 21, 2009 6:56 PM

Final thing - Has there been a porno yet where the autistic girl is proficient at blowjobs?

Well, NOW there will be....

Posted by: Withnail at January 21, 2009 6:58 PM

Yeah I don't know about that high kick girl. She seems awfully tall and asian men are notoriously short(ish.) How high can she really be kicking?

Chocolate wins in my book. I wish Rainman had more martial arts fight sequences in it.

Posted by: JenVegas at January 21, 2009 7:16 PM

As long as High Kick Girl doesn't pretend to have a plot or storyline I'm sure the stunts will carry it along nicely to a B or C-level box office. I'd hate to get distracted by actual characters in what's clearly a series of stunt actor audition reels...

Posted by: lordhelmet at January 21, 2009 7:30 PM

Misunderstandings of Autism notwithstanding, I like the look of Chocolate more. Better fights at least. High Kick Girl, while being an awesome High Kicking kinda Girl (especially nice at around 1:38 I thought) is just a bit too Puffy Ami-Yumi for me. Don't get me wrong, I loves my Puffy, but I just found myself wanting more. Really? I just said that? There's a girl, in a Catholic schoolgirl outfit, who kicks really high? Who am I kidding? They're both awesome!!!

Posted by: Odnon at January 21, 2009 7:47 PM

I'm not usually into films with disabled heroines (see Forrest fucking Gump)but I have to say, Chocolate totally sucked me in.

On the other hand, I was completely unimpressed by High Kick Girl's high kicks - they were pretty wimpy. And there was no compelling storyline...no fly-eating and no rows of M & Ms. No contest. Chocolate wins.

Posted by: Cindy at January 21, 2009 7:49 PM

I saw Chocolate in Hong Kong last year. The story is pretty good, and the martial arts are insane. Thai action films run the gamut of complete and total crap to, OMFG did a human actually do that!?! This one definitely falls in the OMFG end of the spectrum.

Posted by: Adam C at January 21, 2009 8:21 PM

Meh, I'll just go watch District B-13. Again.

Posted by: io at January 21, 2009 8:50 PM

io,
Come now, B-13 isn't so much a martial arts flick than an 80 minute Parkour demo.

Granted... i still needed a towel afterwards...

Posted by: Scott at January 21, 2009 10:04 PM

Martial arts vs. Breakdancing. Chocolate wins, on that alone.

Posted by: MrCreosote at January 21, 2009 10:29 PM

I am excited to see Chocolate, but even more excited to see Ong Bak 2. It's going to be insane.

Posted by: Snath at January 21, 2009 10:55 PM

I think I know the premise for High Kick Girl, she's an operative for Head and Shoulders in their new hands on campaign for better scalp care.....with a vengeance.

Posted by: Geez at January 21, 2009 11:42 PM

Yeah, but does Jason Stantham put a car battery on his tongue in any of these movies.

Posted by: George at January 22, 2009 7:06 AM

Chocolate wins hands down. The "action" in High Kick Girl looks like they were too afraid of hurting each other. Chocolate has some Ong Bak, hardcore shit going on.


The meek shall inherit the earth bitches!

Then double tornado dropkick your ass.

Posted by: admin at January 22, 2009 8:42 AM

Hmm. I'm definitely feeling more interested in Chocolate, though I'm torn about the concept (Autism: a curse or a blessing? Really? Let's ask some parents of Autistic children. Bane? What do you think?). But, I have to give that girl more points for high kicking, because she did it in a long skirt, which ups the difficulty quotient considerably. Seriously, have you ever tried to high kick someone in a long skirt? Shit gets all tangled up around your legs. That short little skirt on the High Kick Girl makes the high kicking so much easier, it's a lot less impressive.

Chocolate wins in my book. Wins the awesomeness award. Except for the Autism part.

Posted by: Anna von Beaverplatz at January 22, 2009 8:53 AM

Was that Cheri Oteri in the High Kick Girl trailer? I wondered what she's been up to!

And Chocolate wins, hands-down. BAD-ASS.

Posted by: Lizzie (greeneyed fem) at January 22, 2009 9:03 AM

Anyone seen the AA nominations yet? Dustin's gonna lose his shit.......

Posted by: slower lower at January 22, 2009 9:14 AM

What was up with the bad 80's soundtrack in the High Kick Girl trailer?
That awful music totally ruined the Japanese school girls angle for me.

Chocolate wins, period.

Posted by: Arib at January 22, 2009 9:59 AM

Autism aside, Chocolate wins hands down. That was fucking awesome.

Posted by: Aislin at January 22, 2009 10:01 AM

Chocolate wins for the BAA RAW EWE title in the middle of the trailer for no apparent reason. Are they making a Babe pun?

Hick Kick Girl comes in second for her 4 sweater vests that look like oversized wife beaters.

Posted by: BWeaves at January 22, 2009 10:16 AM

Actually, BAA-RAM-EWE is the name of the production company behind this little gem, as well as Ong Bak and The Protector.

Although it could still be a Babe reference.

Posted by: Vermillion at January 22, 2009 10:27 AM

Hick Kick Girl could be a better movie. You get some cornfed chick with overalls kicking yakuza ass and saying things like "well shuck my corn and call me fritter" or "oh, looks like someone pissed in the buttermilk on this one".

Posted by: Rubble44 at January 22, 2009 10:46 AM

I'm just gonna go with High Kick Girl as being the suck. Because if there's one thing i know...the due who made Ong-Bak can make a motherfucking kung fu movie.

Though i will say HKG gets a small shred of cool because of the Saved By The Bell type of band playing over the trailor. The producers must have been like "Who needs dialogue pr plot revalations in a trailor? Why not just get Zack Attack to play some shit for us while we show some slow mo shots of our girl kicking ass in her school uniform. I bet 60% of the people who watch the trailor are gonna watch just because they're hoping to see a nubile asian girl give them a white cottn panty shot. This movie will sell!"

I seriously love the music. It's something that would have been on Boy meets World or something like that whrre the characters go to "prom." Have you ever noticed that one most TV shows...there's only ever like 9 people at the prom? I always like to imagine that all the students who aren't there dancing are either A. In the parking lot getting fucked up. B. In the parking lot fucking. or C. Died in a firey 13 limo pile-up on the freeway, so all the other kids decide to show up and dance badly to crap music with over-enthusiastic looks of enjoyment on their faces.

...and don't tell me you didn't keep watching the high kick Girl trailor hoping to see a panty shot.

Posted by: PissBoy at January 22, 2009 11:37 AM

Chocolate has all of the potential in the world to be a great film. It's from the guy that made Ong-Bak (who also produced Sick Nurses, another great Thai horror) and looks very compelling.

Hick Kick Girl, to me, looks full on retarded.

Posted by: Robert at January 22, 2009 11:38 AM

Well, at least both trailers follow the RULE OF FIGHTING NINJAS (TM), which is, wait your turn to fight the star so that the star has a chance of destroying each combatant individually.

Apparently they've never played Kill-the-man-with-ball in the east (i.e. Rugby with no rules), where you just pile up on the star until they can't move and suffocate.

Posted by: BWeaves at January 22, 2009 11:39 AM

PC-nightmare that it is, I cannot believe how aewsome Chocolate looks. I'll find a theatre to see it in, and then, I'll bring a big bag of M n' M's, and then, afterward, the date I took will bring and I will chuck leftover M 'n' M's at each other and try to karate kick them away... and I will have finally found love.

Posted by: Sweetie Dahling at January 22, 2009 12:00 PM

Bane, you made my day!

And yes, I would pay to see Chocolate. High Kick Girl.....Im pretty sure the 25 second teaser I watched on Trailer Addict showed me the whole plot, so..... I'm good...

Posted by: KarmaDarling at January 22, 2009 1:31 PM

I have a high-functioning ASD kid, and to be honest with you, I now want to put her in front of "Fearless Hyena" just to see what would happen.

Her "splintered skills" are completely unpredictable, so you just never know. Thanks to an infomercial, she is currently obsessed with grouting and walks around carrying tubes of caulk all day, so martial arts would be a nice change of pace.

Posted by: babywithapepawface at January 22, 2009 5:59 PM

High Kick Girl (the trailer anyway) is comedy gold - and at least she can't nard herself with the nunchakus (nun-chucks).

Posted by: Popsi_zen at January 22, 2009 7:42 PM


















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