Here I thought all along that Katherine Heigl’s next movie, The Ugly Truth was another bland PG-13 romantic comedy with 4 curse words and, possibly, a bra strap reveal. Turns out, it’s actually a bland R-rated romantic comedy, evident in the red-band clips that the studio keeps releasing to draw in the Apatow audience. I’m not sure it’s going to work, but I’m not looking forward to it a little less than I was not looking forward to it last week. So, there’s that.
The latest red band clip is … well … I wouldn’t call it funny. But, OK — let me put aside my hatred of the Rainbow Killer a second and … oh … it’s kind of … sort of … amusing. I mean, after I’ve cleaned my regurgitated mini-wheats off of my keyboard and thought it about it a few seconds.
Check it out: Katherine Heigl has an orgasm at the dinner table.
I'm thinking Rob Reiner's mom will not be asking to have what she's having.
Posted by: appwitch at July 2, 2009 10:34 AM
Also, and perhaps this is just a sign of my age, but is anyone else just a little bit creeped out that it's a kid.... uh... manning the device?
Posted by: appwitch at July 2, 2009 10:37 AM
I don't get the Katherine Heigl hate. She seems a bit full of herself, but she's an actress - not the most humble profession. Personally I think she's good onscreen which is all that really matters. I mean I still love John Cusack even though everyone pretty much knows he's an arsehole. (I'm not comparing them talent wise - I'm just saying). Besides she was in Roswell, which when I was 16, I absolutely loved.
Posted by: Katie at July 2, 2009 10:37 AM
uh ickkk, just lost my breakfast... though i would like to get a pair of those for myself sometime...
Posted by: betty at July 2, 2009 10:38 AM
Why make Gerard Butler speak with an American accent? Why?
Posted by: branded at July 2, 2009 10:41 AM
After careful consideration, and avoiding the risk of emulating the mini-wheat regurgitation, I still stand by my original conviction.
I wouldn't even hate fuck this piece of shit! Not even if she have me anal and then oral right afterwards.
Sorry, I respect myself far too much.
And a personal note to Heigl, why not go star in that Asteroids movie that's coming out? Perhaps strapped to one of those floating rocks? Maybe if that turned out to be a real-life snuff flick...
Posted by: UncleJR at July 2, 2009 10:42 AM
Really? Hollywood really thinks that a woman who is not in the mood or turned on at all would respond that way? We have yet another regurgitation of the "what's she eating line"? And why does Hollywood persist in spreading the myth that all women scream out "My God!!!!!" when they are having a sexual experience? I feel my Sandy Vagina rising to the surface here. Beware!
Posted by: PaddyDog at July 2, 2009 10:42 AM
Now here is a celebrity that actually deserves to be hated. With all the crap she's pulled in the last two years, why does anyone want to put her into their movie? All she's going to do is get accolades dumped on her by the media, then turn around and say she doesn't deserve it because it was a sexist piece of shit movie and the director tried to have sex with her. Even though we all now she's spent years blowing producers and directors for roles.
I thought it was kind of creepy that it was a kid dialing 'O' on her little pink telephone, but it was amusing enough. The reflexive Heigel hate around here is really getting out of hand. Newsflash, kids, Tom Hanks is an anomaly. Most famous and/or successful people get there because they're insufferable assholes, not in spite of it.
Posted by: Tracer Bullet at July 2, 2009 10:55 AM
Oh Jesus, that scene is revolting. The premise AND the execution. Blargh.
If Heigl (insert Jerry Lewis noise here) is really so concerned about sexism in movies, why does she keep accepting roles that are so fucking demeaning?!
Newsflash, kids, Tom Hanks is an anomaly. Most famous and/or successful people get there because they're insufferable assholes, not in spite of it.
I thought we had a "famous people you've met in real life" Pajiba thread, and the balance there seemed to be as high as 80/20. Some celebrities were extremely kind, most were regular people, and only a few were total jackholes.
Since 80/20 is about the proportion of regulars to assholes in the real world, I don't think your statement is correct.
Posted by: twig at July 2, 2009 10:58 AM
I was too annoyed with what PaddyDog pointed out (completely ridiculous reaction considering she didn't mentally want it) to be amused. I do scream out "Oh my god," though, so that gets a pass. But seriously, it took her all of 80 seconds to go from nothing to EARTH-SHATTERING ORGASM? Nooooooot gonna happen.
SaBrina, I'll explain how that happens next time you're in Philadelphia.
Posted by: Tracer Bullet at July 2, 2009 11:09 AM
Gerard Butler is so awesome. I can't hate him for being in this. He's just so damn affable. It's funny to me how much more I like him here than in 300, too. As the actor himself, not the character.
I would totally hate fuck that. I'd come on the curtains though.
Posted by: Angus at July 2, 2009 11:16 AM
The scene is fine, Heigl is fine. What annoys me is that the filmmakers ask us to swallow the stupid premise that a career-motivated woman suddenly asked to go to a dinner with her corporate officers when she was expecting something more intimate, wouldn't change her fucking panties first. Or at least make damn sure the remote was secured.
It's asinine sit-com crap like that which made me stop watching TV completely.
Posted by: Neodiogenes at July 2, 2009 11:27 AM
SaBrina:
I'm especialy sensitive to the "Oh My God" stuff because in my single days, men would become so offended if I didn't do it. It really pisses me off that insecure men think they're doing something so amazing that I'm going to invoke the Gods in response.
Posted by: PaddyDog at July 2, 2009 11:27 AM
lame.
much like john cusack.
Posted by: gem at July 2, 2009 11:29 AM
Neodiogenes:
They also want us to believe a career-oriented woman would go out wearing a light white dress with black panties underneath.
Posted by: PaddyDog at July 2, 2009 11:29 AM
I'm especialy sensitive to the "Oh My God" stuff because in my single days, men would become so offended if I didn't do it.
Heh. Once or twice I said that with pseudo-Mr. vB, and he responded, "God had nothing to do with it." Of course, he's an atheist.
Paddy/Sabrina, as an atheist I really don't give a damn what women scream in the bedroom, as long as they're screaming. Make that "as long as they're screaming in a good way, not in abject terror. Like that time in Vegas. How was I supposed to know she'd changed the safe word from pickle juice to please fucking stop now?
They also want us to believe a career-oriented woman would go out wearing a light white dress with black panties underneath.
Now, see, THAT'S what's really offensive about the whole thing. Let's get some basic fashion sense, Hollywood.
Posted by: Tracer Bullet at July 2, 2009 11:42 AM
It's got nothing to do with shallow fashion mores Tracer. If a woman goes out with her boss to a business dinner with panties visible under the dress, she's going to be labeled in a certain way for the rest of her career. It's the garment version of a woman saying she has to leave early because her son has a baseball game and being labeled "not committed" while if a man does the same thing they say "what a great Dad".
Posted by: PaddyDog at July 2, 2009 11:47 AM
The orgasm made me forget my annoyance at the underwear thing! As someone who's started to wear light skirts and dresses pretty often, that cheesed me off. And I just did not understand at all the whole "I'm going on a date (with whom?) but OK sure let's do this instead with my slinky white dress and special vibe-panties."
Really, Paddy? Men are so weird. I mean, it doesn't even mean anything to me, being agnostic-it's just... something to say.
Tomato, tomahto. It's tacky, no matter the fallout.
Posted by: Tracer Bullet at July 2, 2009 11:55 AM
I wish somebody had told me to stop wearing black tighties under my all-white suits. First no navy with black, then no socks with sandals and now this!
Posted by: branded at July 2, 2009 11:57 AM
branded:
Socks with sandals? All this time, I had no idea you were German.
Posted by: PaddyDog at July 2, 2009 12:11 PM
SaBrina:
If things were going well and moving toward the bed room, I used to warn guys in a playful way that I wasn't really the "Oh My God" type, just so they wouldn't be let down. You know what they'd say? "You will be when I'm finished with you". That was a date-ender right there.
Of course, that's all ancient history now.
Posted by: PaddyDog at July 2, 2009 12:14 PM
Aw, Dustin. You're growing.
Posted by: Sapphiar at July 2, 2009 12:18 PM
Furthermore (and yes, I know I'm over-venting in this thread): She gets a sex toy as an anonymous gift left outside her apartment and she's not at all freaked out or scared by that? I would be calling the lock smith to reinforce the door locks and really afraid to walk down the corridor alone.
P.S. none of this is against Heigl personally, it's just the pattern of what Hollywood thinks is funny with women doesn't play with me (and I'm really not a rampant feminist).
Posted by: PaddyDog at July 2, 2009 12:21 PM
Have we ever had a comment diversion talking about the weirdest things said or noises made during sex? Because I would really like to read that. Seriously, I'm expecting people here to say that their human partner suddenly bleated like a goat mid-coitus.
Obviously, the only appropriate answer here is, "Let's Go Mets!"
Other acceptable answers would be:
"What are you doing back there?
"You're kneeling on my hair."
"Where do you think you're sticking that?"
"Who's next?"
"Wow, I've never seen anything like that before."
Posted by: Tracer Bullet at July 2, 2009 12:40 PM
I'd rather an Oh My Gawd in the bedroom than nothing. I dated one girl who I swore was on sedatives, would not make a noise no matter what I'd try. Makes a guy feel really inadequate. It didn't last.
I'm sure there's a joke to be made there Xtreme involving sedatives and a van, but after the Observe and Report flamewar I'm just going to...SQUIRREL!
Posted by: Mrcreosote at July 2, 2009 1:09 PM
But seriously, it took her all of 80 seconds to go from nothing to EARTH-SHATTERING ORGASM? Nooooooot gonna happen.
Depends on how strong the vibrations are, and where they are directed! (Let's just say that little Silver Bullet is fierce on a fresh battery...)
TMI? Or is this the wrong crowd for such a concept?
Posted by: Tarn at July 2, 2009 2:24 PM
haha! cracking up - at this comment thread, not the trailer. Who knew Pajiba readers were so good at giving hilarious TMI. Oh wait, we all did.
Posted by: Jenn at July 2, 2009 2:34 PM
more sexist bullshit! hooray!
Posted by: Eleanor at July 2, 2009 3:35 PM
I really have nothing to add regarding the "black panties under a white dress" and "Hollywood thinks it's funny for women to orgasm in public" threads. What I'm wondering is if RK hates these roles so much, why does she accept them?
Posted by: Minty at July 2, 2009 4:05 PM
I can second the love for the silver bullet. The wife is more straight laced than John Lithgow in Footloose and she let me give the ol' bullet a whirl. Needless to say, they still hang out to this day.
Posted by: John Denver's Wingman at July 2, 2009 4:26 PM
Tarn, we don't judge around here if you want to share stories of a sexual nature. As long as you're a girl. Or talking about a girl. Shit, who am I kidding, we judge. But don't worry, we'll still read what you write. Just make sure it has the words orgasm, vibrator, boob, etc in your post somewhere, and we'll read it. Guaranteed.
Have we ever had a comment diversion talking about the weirdest things said or noises made during sex?
"Are you done yet?"
I asked a guy that once, in the middle of doing the deed. I had to, or else we were probably going to be there all night, and I sure as hell wasn't enjoying it!
Posted by: MelBivDevoe at July 2, 2009 6:29 PM
"Are you done yet?"
geez, melissa, harsh much?!
if you want a guy to hurry, THAT won't help.
try playing with his balls a little. A LITTLE.
say something nasty. and don't play with his butt unless he asks you to.
Posted by: gp at July 2, 2009 7:30 PM
Have we ever had a comment diversion talking about the weirdest things said or noises made during sex?
Not only do they put Gerard Butler (AKA "Sex on Wheels") in a movie with Rainbow Killer, but they take away his manhood by MAKING HIM TALK IN AN AMERICAN ACCENT?!
and don't play with his butt unless he asks you to.
Posted by: gp at July 2, 2009 7:30 PM
No shit (pun intended)! Is that one of the lessons from the "girl playbook" that guys just know you ladies get somewhere along the line? "Jam a finger up his ass, he'll love it!" No. Asking would be good. Reconsidering would be better.
Really? Hollywood really thinks that a woman who is not in the mood or turned on at all would respond that way?
Really. I think I would be pissed off, not turned on. And I sure as fuck wouldn't let some smooth-talker bully me into sitting back down and explaining an ad campaign while I was wearing the Vibrating Panties from Hell. Fuck that guy. If he wanted the ad campaign explained so much, he could fucking do it. I would make something up about a problem with my dress and excuse myself for the bathroom. Then find the little shit with the remote and do what his mother should have done - smack his hand for picking up random shit he finds on the floor. He has no idea where that little flashlight-looking thing has been.
OR, I would go to the bathroom as soon we got to the restaurant and TAKE OFF THE FUCKING PANTIES.
That was almost anti-sexy. Gentlemen, I believe we found a cure for morning wood.
Posted by: chenry at July 3, 2009 10:18 AM
Posted by: Anna von Beaverplatz at July 3, 2009 9:15 AM
Two answers:
1) I'd be twenty-one, now--on Mars.
2) Yes.
...for obvious reasons.
Posted by: gforcetwo at July 6, 2009 8:46 AM
So my question is, do they intend this film for an audience of women? It seems like a wannabe chick flick, albeit ramped up a notch or two for an R rating. But as all the previous smart commenters have pointed out, this clip is offensive on so many levels that any self-respecting female viewer is going to be either a) insulted, b) annoyed, c) confused, or some combination of the three. I'm feeling all three.
And for the love of god, DO NOT have a child bring a woman to orgasm at the dinner table. Where is the line, Hollywood? Disgusting.
Posted by: katyva at July 6, 2009 11:30 PM
Katherine should loudly fire her agent and replace him (?) with a her (!) and a her who shares Ms. Heigl's (stated) moral values. She won't get the big bucks anymore, but she should at least be able to sleep well at night. She could certainly continue to work in indies (ala Charlize Theron) and, who knows, a Scorcese or Oliver Stone might even be sufficiently impressed to hire her.
I'm thinking Rob Reiner's mom will not be asking to have what she's having.