Headline About Literal Movie Title: 'Big Ass Spider' Trailer
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Headline About Literal Movie Title: 'Big Ass Spider' Trailer

By Steven Lloyd Wilson | Trailers | October 16, 2013 | Comments ()


I had a professor once, of things that had nothing to do with grammar, who insisted on an aside explaining why the hyphen was a critical part of the English language. See, in a phrase like “Big Ass Spider”, there is no way to know if grammatically that should be interpreted as adverb-adjective-noun or as adjective-noun-noun. The difference can be quite important, and is established by proper use of hyphens. So “Big-Ass Spider” means an arachnid of unusual proportions while “Big Ass-Spider” implies that the pornographic version of this film will be the most terrifying movie ever made.

Grammar. It’s what separates us from the dolphins.

Oh, yes, here’s the trailer of the most literally named movie of the year:

I just can’t hate this film. It’s like a SyFy original grew up and had cute little spider babies all over the place. Plus, I have a soft spot for Greg Grunberg.

And the obligatory plot description is blessedly short, which might be because at two sentences, it’s already one third of the length of the script:

A giant alien spider escapes from a military lab and rampage the city of Los Angeles. When a massive military strike fails, it is up to a team of scientists and one clever exterminator to kill the creature before the city is destroyed.

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Comments Are Welcome, Bigots and Trolls Are Not

  • Pitry

    What this movie really needs is a crossover with Infestation. So not only would you have the big-ass spider, you would also have this: http://popcultureninja.com/wp-...

    That would be a masterpiece, I say. Masterpiece.

  • stella

    This is from my nightmares. Giant fucking spiders? This is why I dont go outside.

  • Hollywood. Stop. You're spoiling me. It's embarrassing.

    This movie appears to share the same kind of titular confusion that 'Lesbian Vampire Killers' did. Until you watch the movie, you're not sure if it's about killers of lesbian vampires, vampire killers who are lesbians, or lesbian vampires who are killers.

  • BWeaves

    Who cares? I watched it for Paul McGann.

  • PDamian

    Greg Grunberg AND Ray Wise? This is going to be the B-movie to end all B-movies! I'm so there ...

  • bleujayone

    If they had cast John Goodman as the extermination and David Arquette as the security guard, you would have had "Arachnophobia 2: Big Assed Eight Legged Freak.

  • Dragonchild

    OK, I understand this is a silly premise and all, but as an oversized spider it's really not all that big. I'm all for campy movies but if the spider is crawling over buildings instead of crushing them underfoot you have to at least TRY to convince me a single fighter jet armed with missiles (let alone a burst from an A-10's anti-tank cannon) doesn't turn that thing into chunky salsa, not just fly a few choppers around it in the dumbest way possible. These movies were a lot easier to make in the 1950s where the options were small-arms fire, some frighteningly inaccurate cannons or a nuclear strike, but these days you've got to account for 21st century technology.

  • Fabius_Maximus

    You know, the US Army Air Force had a B-25 variant with a 75 mm Howitzer installed in its nose in the 1940s. I think that should be enough.

  • PDamian

    There was a 1950s movie whose name I don't remember that featured a giant, man-eating spider that was essentially a bunch of fur rugs tossed over a VW Beetle, with the red turn signal lights doubling as evil eyes. Damn skippy sci-fi movies were easier to make in the 1950s.

  • BlackRabbit

    The Giant Spider Invasion?

  • Endgame55

    That flick is actually from the mid-seventies and is a real kick! It features a particularly egregious performance by the Skipper from Gilligan's Island...

  • Anthony Hoffman

    The Jon Peters Movie.

  • BWeaves

    "We're going to need a bigger shoe."

  • Joe Grunenwald

    That's pretty bad, guys.

  • Fredo

    "I saw it. I splooshed." - SLW, Pajiba.com

  • Joe Grunenwald

    I was more referring to the double 'And's.

  • Fredo

    For the love of God, please tell me this is ending on SyFy this Halloween!

    And can we start on the sequel, "Big Ass-Spider"?

  • bastich

    "Big Ass Spider Vs. Sharknado"

  • BWeaves

    Big Ass Spider II: Human Centipede.

    Oh shit, how did I even go there from here?

  • Long_Pig_Tailor

    But *why* did the military feel the need to create a Big-Ass Spider? What is the possible use for a giant rampaging spider to the army? How would they transport it, anyway? Clearly it wouldn't fit on any of their transport planes.

    Conclusion: In this universe, the military is plotting to destroy the world.

  • bastich

    Remember the good old days, when big ass animals were mostly created by atomic bomb testing?

  • Long_Pig_Tailor

    I notice it says alien spider. I think that's a mistake, because now the question isn't why would the military create a Big-Ass Spider, but how did the military contain the Big-Ass Spider for awhile but is apparently now incapable of destroying it?

    Really, it's possible to make a crappy B movie that makes sense. It totally is. I swear.

  • Naye

    It looks like it gets bigger during the movie. At one point its the height of a volleyball net, at another point its 20 stories tall

  • John G.

    The Title "Big Ass Spider" is only two words away from being "Ass" the movie, and then we will have become Idiocracy.


  • Xander

    Still better then watching a M Night movie......(sorry they recently aired The Last Airbender on TV and it rewoke my homicidal urges towards M Night)

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