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Just Another Happy Bloodbath

By TK | Posted Under Trailers | Comments (9)

hatchetpic1big.jpg

OK, so this trailer’s a little ridiculous. 2007’s Hatchet did not resurrect or redefine or reinvigorate or re-anyfuckingthing to the slasher genre. I don’t think I can hail it as one of the classics. That said, it was mightily enjoyable, joyously gory throwback flick that managed to be twisted and violent, yet never crossed the line into true torture porn.

Unsurprisingly, writer/direct Adam Green has a sequel (cleverly titled Hatchet II) coming out, and it looks to be more of the same. That is to say — a fucking ball. A bloody, screamy, goofy, graphic, grisly ball. I don’t know whether or not it’s going to have more people’s faces being torn in half, but a boy can dream, can’t he? Plus, the belt sander is back, and who can complain about that.

In any event, the synopsis is that a bunch of people go to the swamps near New Orleans, and the killer Victor Crowley (Kane Hodder) creatively tears them into bloody pieces. Hijinks ensue.

Also? Tony Todd!

Watch it and giggle:









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Comments

What a fine way to start a Monday. Thanks TK!

Posted by: (Not so)Blonde Savant at August 23, 2010 9:25 AM

What are the sources for those quotes? May as well be the director's mom for all we know.

"That was a super fucking awesome movie, sweetheart. Maybe one of the best slasher flicks of all time. Am I saying that right? Is it 'slasher?' But what are they doing in that swamp? It's not like they're looking for the holy grail. Of slasher films I've seen, this is just tops! Those old cottonheaded ninnymuggins at Bob Evans don't believe that you're the next icon of horror, but I know better. Now turn it to 'Judge Judy.'"

Posted by: Kballs at August 23, 2010 9:31 AM

Everyone involved in the projected pushed the first one as revolutionary and game changing and it sucked. It did not fulfill the promises of the screenwriter, the director, the cast, or the production company and I cannot let that go. I have very low standards when it comes to slashers, too. Give me kills (either creative set pieces or a ridiculously high body count), a creepy killer, and a survivor who doesn't make me want to blow my brains out and I'm happy. When a whole bunch of people promise more, I expect more; Hatchet failed to deliver.

That being said: they aren't calling this revolutionary. They aren't boasting that it has the best practical effects in decades. They aren't pushing that it has an award-winning performance (look it up). They're just saying the same killer is returning to the same swamp. Fine. Maybe they'll fulfill that promise.

Or they'll jump off the full-retard bridge and have Victor Crawley shipped off to Abu Dhabi by an anthropomorphic cat.

Posted by: Robert at August 23, 2010 9:52 AM

Overly-enthusiastic movie blurbs can usually be traced back to Harry "I Would Blow You To Become An Industry Insider" Knowles.

Posted by: Craig at August 23, 2010 9:54 AM

I have never in my life seen a gas powered belt sander. Now I must have one.

Posted by: admin at August 23, 2010 10:00 AM

I'm trying to figure out WHAT is pulling open that person's face/head in the pic.

Posted by: Snuggiepants at August 23, 2010 10:35 AM

Snuggiepants, I'm having the same problem. It's like looking at the "do you see an old lady or a young lady?" optical illusion picture. I think I see what looks like a really deranged giant Pinoccio-like face (one eye, long wooden nose), then I change focus and I see some wierd mouth where the eye should be.
FUCK, it's freaking me out.

Posted by: tar at August 23, 2010 11:50 AM

Next to where the fingers of the top (right) hand are curling is the attacker's grinning mouth (missing some teeth, it looks like), and just above that, the right cheek bone and some of the nose. The bottom edge of the right eye is just visible before the rest of the head is cropped-out.

Posted by: Rykker at August 23, 2010 2:02 PM

Snuggiepants, that would be the killer's hands ripping that poor gentleman's face apart with brute strength. It was one of the few highlights of the original.

Posted by: Robert at August 23, 2010 2:49 PM