H2 Trailer

This Ain't No Amish Paradise

By Dustin Rowles | Posted Under Trailers | Comments (15)

Hey Folks, Harry here.

Shit, wrong persona.

(Shaves. Sucks in gut. Remembers not to kiss massive amounts of studio ass).

Dustin here. Below we have the trailer for Rob Zombie’s sequel to the remake of Halloween. It’s called H2, an odd title considering there’s already an H20 in the series. No matter. This one, however, “completes” Rob Zombie’s “extreme vision of a terrifying legend.” And by “completes,” I’m sure he means: “Makes the first of what will probably be a series of sequels.” I’ll give the trailer this, though: It’s much less frenetic, less Greengrassian, than the first movie, which is to say: There isn’t a shaky-camera to distract you from the shitstorm brewing onscreen.

This one stars Rob Zombie’s wife, Sherri Moon Zombie, Margot Kidder, Malcom McDowell, and — I shit you not — Weird Al Yankovic. Check it out:

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annoying trailer.

but as a michael myers fan, i'll be there.

Posted by: gp at April 27, 2009 10:42 AM

I just remember how stupid the Halloween: H20 title was. They kept saying Halloween: H...2...OH. It's a ZERO you fucktard!

H20= Halloween: 20 years later

H2O= WATER! Unless the movie involves Seaworld, or dead Snorks, or Michael Myers feeding people to MurderManatees then it's false advertising and full of dumb.

Posted by: jM at April 27, 2009 11:00 AM

Didn't Halloween 6 try to explain why Michael is the way he is? Hell, didn't Zombie's first remake try to do that by showing how fucked up his childhood was? Those two reasons weren't compelling. How is he going to give us another explanation that is going to be any good? It seems like Zombie just makes shit up so that he has an excuse to put his wife in the movie as much as possible.

Posted by: Dave at April 27, 2009 11:01 AM

It must be part of the pre-nup that Zombie has to feature his wife's ass in every movie he makes. In fact, the credits should just read "My Wife's Ass." A fact I find both annoying and disturbing.

Zombie's first Halloween sucked to the point of being offensive. I'll steer clear of this celluloid abortion and spare myself the gratuitous look at the only "good" thing about his wife, "good" being a very relative term.

Posted by: David at April 27, 2009 11:30 AM

Fuck yoooouuuuu Rob Zombie. Mike Myers sees his dead mom in a white version of Morticia Addams' dress and she instructs him to kill? Am I seeing this correctly?

I think I will write that horror flick about Mrs. Butterworth. I mean, surely I can get it made when shit like this is getting re-made..er, "re-imagined".

Posted by: Pinky McLadybits at April 27, 2009 11:31 AM

Really? No one wants to do this?
It's YANKOVIC. And I saw him in concert and he puts on a hell of a show.

Posted by: Optimus Rhyme at April 27, 2009 11:49 AM

"I met him, fifteen years ago. I was told there was nothing left. No reason, no conscience, no understanding - even the most rudimentary sense of life or death, good or evil, right or wrong. I met this six-year-old child, with this blank, pale, emotionless face and, the blackest eyes... the devil's eyes. I spent eight years trying to reach him, and then another seven trying to keep him locked up because I realized what was living behind that boy's eyes was purely and simply... evil. "

Dear Rob Zombie - you will never in your life be able to match that. So stop trying.

Posted by: TK at April 27, 2009 11:50 AM

Well, I for one think it's nice to see Margot and Weird Al getting some work. (OK, for two. I just saw Optimus' comment.)

@jM: HAAAAAhahahhahahahah! Also, how can I go about obtaining a MurderManatee?

Posted by: Anna von Beaverplatz at April 27, 2009 11:58 AM

H20 also could have been Waterworld. That was one of the worst movies I ever tried to watch.

Rob Zombie,

Please stop. You are not a director. I've seen you in concert and really think that you should go back to that. "Thunderkiss '65" was quite bad ass live. Your movies are not bad ass.

Posted by: Melody at April 27, 2009 12:16 PM

If I brainstorm for 3 seconds and come up with a cool last name like "Zombie" can I have money to make movies too?
Jeez, what a dork.

Posted by: dirt monkey at April 27, 2009 1:30 PM

weird al is the SHIT. i've seen him live 3 times and he really does put on a good show..

Posted by: letsspoon at April 27, 2009 2:07 PM

I don't think Weird Al has been a movie since UHF. This could pave the way for the long-awaited sequel. Plus Michael Richards could get some work. Win-win.

Posted by: stryker1121 at April 27, 2009 2:13 PM

I didn't see Weird Al. Where is he?

Posted by: Lucas at April 27, 2009 2:47 PM

Pinky are you serious? His MOTHER? Wasn't this done already in that piece of crap Friday 13th (the recent remake people, I have a healthy dose of paranoia for the original).
And wasn't this whole "my mom made me do it" excuse done to better effect in Psycho?

Posted by: Four Eyes at April 27, 2009 6:22 PM

Isn't the whole point about Michael Myers that there is NO REASON for his fucked up actions? That is where the horror stems from--a kid from an ordinary, middle-class, suburban family (with no fucked-up, deep-dark family secrets, no sexual molestation/physical abuse/emotional abuse) commits murder on a massive scale. There is no reason. We cannot explain it. Fear of the unknown and the unknowable.

Posted by: Sigh! at April 27, 2009 9:01 PM

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This Ain't No Amish Paradise

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