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An All Star Cast of Fat-Bottomed Suck

By Dustin Rowles | Posted Under Trailers | Comments (18)

grown_ddups.jpg

You know that funny bone of yours? Pull it out. Seriously: Just jerk the fucking thing out of your body. You’re not going to need it for the new Grown Ups trailer. It’s of no use to you. None. The best thing you could do with it is to pull it out, track down Adam Sandler, and jab it into his rib cage and twist. Then pop it back in real quick because that might be funny.

Fuck you, Adam Sandler. And Chris Rock. And Kevin James. And Rob Schneider, while we’re at it. And why’d you have to bring pretty Salma Hayek down to your level. Oh nooooooeees! The Sandler curse! Salma Hayek is done for, y’all. Nobody survives the Sandler curse, except for Drew Barrymore. And that’s only because, if there’s a nuclear apocalypse, the only thing left in the world will be cockroaches and Barrymore’s destruction-defying cuteness.

Here’s the trailer for Grown Ups, featuring all your least favorite people doing spectacularly unfunny things. With kids. Hey! But that four-year-old breastfeeding joke is hilarious!










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Comments

I saw this trailer for this last night at the premiere of Kick Ass. I nearly pucked on the douche in front of me who was texting his equally douchy friends. I calmed down until the next trailer came on and I saw katherine heigel's enormous face on the screen along with ashton kutcher where he's like a spy and kills people and heigel fumbles around with a gun and continues to destroy her career. The poor janitors in that theater

Posted by: Ariana at April 16, 2010 10:57 AM

Nope. Not even going to watch it and you're an asshole for even suggesting I should, Rowles.

Posted by: admin at April 16, 2010 11:10 AM

That header picture looks like "Special Needs" day at the local waterpark.

Posted by: Pinky McLadybits at April 16, 2010 11:15 AM

Hey now, Chris is NOT one of my least favorite people! He just tends to make.......dubious films.

Posted by: Jay at April 16, 2010 11:18 AM

Hey- 1998 called... It wants it's hit movie back. I'll be here all week.

Posted by: logar at April 16, 2010 11:30 AM

sandler, spade, and rock.
and even rob schneider too.
Tastes just like drano.

Posted by: jackk at April 16, 2010 11:31 AM

hey, are you Still looking for your special one? Want to find a good looking and quality soulmate but not sure if they are true and serious? Just go to http://www.uniformedmeet.com/news/181, why not try now?

Posted by: Force at April 16, 2010 11:56 AM

HAHAHAAAAAHAHAHHAHAHHHAHHHHHHHHAH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
ow my eyeball

Posted by: AM at April 16, 2010 12:04 PM

I can't wait for the sweet release of death for Adam Sandler. The more garbage this guy kicks out, the more I wonder JUST how similar he is to his Funny People character.

Posted by: Dangerous Dave at April 16, 2010 12:17 PM

I can't even get past the premise. They haven't seen each other in 30 years, so they decide a vacation together with their families is an awesome idea? IT'S BEEN THIRTY YEARS. How do they even know they still like each other? People tend to change as they morph from child to adult. I know I, for one, am a much bigger bitch than I used to be. Any childhood buddies expecting my sweet-natured little kid personality would be horrified to meet me today, much less spend precious vacation time with me.

Posted by: DeadBessie at April 16, 2010 12:22 PM

I refuse to accept this. A woman with magnificent breasts like that could never be done for. Ever. There will always be a place in the world for a rack like Selma Hayek. For as long as the sexy secretary role exists, she will have work. End of story.

Posted by: Robert at April 16, 2010 1:21 PM

Fat-bottom girls, you make the rockin' world go round.

That is all.

Posted by: , at April 16, 2010 2:07 PM

Ugh, I can't get through that.

Why do the wives in movies like this never say, "You're going WHERE? With WHO? Then you're going without me."

Posted by: , at April 16, 2010 2:09 PM

Chris Rock's been in one good movie and that movie is New Jack City. Poor Pookie.

Is that true about urine turning blue in public pools?...just wondering.

Posted by: stryker1121 at April 16, 2010 9:04 PM

Fuck! I snickered at the "what was your favorite thing to do when you were twelve?" line. Now I have to commit suicide.

Posted by: John at April 16, 2010 9:05 PM

This freakin TRAILER...actually made me laugh once or twice. I know its going to be bad, just like I know the sun will rise tomorrow morning. But there's a part of me, a deep dark sick sadistic part of me, that wants to see this movie.

I need help.

Posted by: Littlejon2001 at April 17, 2010 2:36 AM

Drew Barrymore is not cute. She's annoying. Just like cockroaches.

Posted by: Lake at April 17, 2010 5:05 PM

It had some funny moments. You guys are assholes.

Posted by: Horace at April 18, 2010 9:21 AM