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Jason Bourne Goes to Iraq

And We're All Happy in the Pants About It / Dustin Rowles

Trailers | October 27, 2009 | Comments (15)

It’s been a slow-ass month for trailers around here. Generally, trailers appear three to four months from a movie’s release, and now that we’ve seen the trailers for almost all of the holiday releases, the best we’ve been able to muster are trailers for the dreadful movies that tend to come out in January and February, like The Tooth Fairy or When in Rome, or even Valentine’s Day.

Finally, we’re starting to see trailers for March releases and beyond, when the slate picks up again. This one is for Matt Damon’s Green Zone, which comes from his Bourne director, Paul Greengrass, the man most famous for giving his audience motion sickness. Comparisons are already being made to Bourne (it’s Bourne in Iraq), which is certainly fair after seeing the trailer. But then again, it’s BOURNE IN IRAQ! I’ll watch a Bourne movie set pretty much anywhere.

The logline: A thriller about a pair of CIA agents on the trail of certain Weapons of Mass Destruction and a foreign correspondent following their mission. Inspired by Imperial Life in the Emerald City.

In addition to Damon, Green Zone also features performances from Greg Kinnear and the charming Amy Ryan, she of “The Wire” and “The Office” fame. Looks like a great goddamn movie. Personally, I’m just happy to see a trailer for a movie I’m excited about, again.


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Comments

You could make Bourne in Canada and I'd watch it. Actually, I'd probably audition.

Posted by: Xtreme at October 27, 2009 2:49 PM

My day just got 100% better.

Posted by: bonnie at October 27, 2009 2:51 PM

How about 'Bourne on the Fourth of July: The Big Bang.'

Posted by: Lindsey with an 'e' at October 27, 2009 3:05 PM

Xtreme are you saying you want to watch Bourne on Ice?

I can see the ads now:

BOURNE on ICE!

Do you sometimes watch a duo execute a perfect hand-to-hand loop and wonder if figure skating could be even more exciting?

Do you enjoy watching violent movies, but wish there was more twirling?

Then come see BOURNE ON ICE.

BOURNE ON ICE is a new icetacular combining amazing figure skating with shoot-em-up action.
Before BOURNE ON ICE, you could not indulge your need for violence while watching figure skating. But now you can watch Jason Bourne toss eastern european agents through the air while executing picture perfect twizzles.

7 nights a week...only in CANADA!!!
(also on ESPN "The Ocho")

Posted by: "luker" the barbarian at October 27, 2009 3:06 PM

The Bourne Retirement

Gotta move on, people.

Posted by: Kballs at October 27, 2009 3:43 PM

Then come see BOURNE ON ICE.

Everyone gets a bayonet.

Posted by: twig at October 27, 2009 4:08 PM

"I'll watch a Bourne movie set pretty much anywhere."

Really?

Bourne in Piggly Wiggly - He'd rack up an impressive number of kills using, among other things: a baguette, a can of crushed tomatoes, head cheese, and a Swiffer Wet-Jet.

Bourne on The View - Clocks in with a running time of three minutes and fifty-two seconds, three minutes of which are comprised of blurry fists, arterial spray, and dreadlocks.

Bourne in Human Tetris - It's not so much Jason Bourne contorting his body to fit through the obstacles - it's more along the lines of him snapping Commie femurs and bending humeri in ways that God never intended.

Bourne in Spaaaaace - Remember how Miss Piggy would always karate-chop the other Muppets? Let's see how she does against Operation Treadstone - IN LOW GRAVITY!

Posted by: Skitz at October 27, 2009 4:14 PM

Pssst, Dustin: yer video's down.

Posted by: Jerce at October 27, 2009 4:14 PM

Guns? Bayonets? We're talking FOOT SWORDS people! Built. right. in.

Geez. This girl one time in elementary school? Went to a school skate? Like down the block at the open air rink? We have those up here in Canadatown...anyways...she got her fricking skull sliced right open! By ten year old catholic kids! Skates are hella dangerous. Poor Emer O'Brian.

Anyways, imagine what you could do with intent to maim.

Posted by: replica at October 27, 2009 4:39 PM

Bourne: In My Pants?

Oh wait, that's a private screening.


Posted by: Meggrs at October 27, 2009 4:44 PM

How about The Bourne Human Centipede?

Posted by: whatBENwatches at October 27, 2009 5:27 PM

Me reading the comments:

Oh haha oh everyone is so funny...Bourne on Ice, hee...yeah Miss Piggy...FUCKING HUMAN CENTIPEDE AGAIN!? Let it DIE!!

Please?

Posted by: Carrie at October 27, 2009 6:08 PM

It never dies! It recycles its own waste! That's the whole point!

Posted by: Daniel Hall at October 27, 2009 6:51 PM

No one will ever know how glad I am that I didn't watch that clip.

Posted by: Smokin at October 28, 2009 2:25 PM

I would kill everyone you've ever loved if they tried to stop me from seeing this film on opening night!

Posted by: gforcetwo at October 28, 2009 2:31 PM





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