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G.I. Joe: Retaliation Trailer: Suck It, Stephen Sommers

By TK | Posted Under Trailers | Comments (27)



GI-Joe-Retaliation-Roadblock-FP.jpg

Did you guys see G.I. Joe: The Rise of Cobra? Were you filled with sadness and regret in its aftermath? Did the presence of Marlon Wayans’ sad attempts at comic relief, Rachel Nichols’ wooden imitation of wood, the worst performance in Joseph Gordon Levitt’s career, and utterly abysmal storytelling, asinine direction and overblown effects — did all of those things completely shit on your memory of the cartoons/comic books/toys?

Well, here’s something interesting for you, then. Jon Chu, the guy who directed TWO Step Up movies, as well as Justin Beiber: Seriously, What The Fuck, has directed the sequel: G.I. Joe: Retaliaton. And you know what? It… it kind of works. It’s got some pretty impressive action pieces, a more serious tone but not too serious, and a shitload of ninjas. And ninjas make everything better. Watch:

Basically, it looks like he dumped half the cast of the first film (the worst half, I must say), and feels a lot more like what I’d have envisioned a live-action film to look like. The goofy technology, the dumbass suits, the Wayans brother — all that superfluous stupid shit — is gone. In fact, Chu did the smartest possible thing: he killed them all off, allowing him to basically start from scratch, using only the barest framework left from Stephen Sommers’ shittastic original. He added in a few newcomers — Adrianne Palicki, Dwayne Johnson (finally, the right kind of role), Ray Stevenson, Elodie Yung, RZA, and Walton Goggins (not to mention an… unusual cameo at the end of the trailer). He kept Potato, Arnold Vosloo as Zartan, Ray Park and Byung-hun Lee as Snake Eyes and Storm Shadow — for the most part, the best parts of the original (well, OK, maybe not Potato).

And most importantly, a Cobra Commander who doesn’t look like he has a melted fish tank on his head.

Now don’t get me wrong — I’m not expecting this to be great. But it might do what the first one failed to — it might actually be entertaining. Might.









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Comments

I don't see any change from the first one's vibe. And I think the first one was fun, a little stupid and not something I would watch again, but a fun movie to see, the same as this one looks to be.

Posted by: zito at December 13, 2011 9:19 AM

Huh. I don't want to punch anything. I want to watch the 'splosions, ninja-fighting and such. Tuesday is really fucking with my head.

Posted by: Pinky McLadybits at December 13, 2011 9:22 AM

This...might not entirely suck?

Posted by: admin at December 13, 2011 9:24 AM

Well, slap my ass and call me legitimate popcorn fun.

Posted by: duckandcover at December 13, 2011 9:28 AM

This has probably never been said on the internet ever before, but I'm actually a little disappointed Sienna Miller isn't in this one.

This looks like a lark, though. A perfect role for The Rock, and MOTHERFUCKING SNAKE-EYES.

Posted by: Arran at December 13, 2011 9:39 AM

So, I'm a ninja. I'm a master of infiltration, the ghost in the machine, the silent killer, the one who is not seen. My strength is not straight up fighting, it's killing the enemy before they know I exist. Now, I'm on a mountain. It's a collection of browns, greys, greens and possibly some dirty snow. Why am I wearing a candy apple red/day glow yellow/snazzy black jumpsuit? Is it laundry day? Did I just try to hide at the New York Auto Show? Was I influenced by the dubstep score? Damn it, did Sho Kosugi teach you nothing!

Posted by: Mrcreosote at December 13, 2011 9:46 AM

That looks like fun!

Posted by: ChickaBoom! at December 13, 2011 9:57 AM


G.I. Joe: The Rise of Cobra : Just not that bad. Could have been better for an action film based on toys and cartoons, but "completely shit on your memory" bad? No way - I never took the movie, or "GI JOE" as a property, that seriously. Drama queen much?

G.I. Joe: Retaliaton : The Rock, hot chicks with guns and swords, mountain ninjas, and Bruce Willis. Let me go buy a ticket now.
~~~

Posted by: Meander at December 13, 2011 10:00 AM

It's the ninja version of "Come at me Bro!" Creosote.

Posted by: admin at December 13, 2011 10:05 AM

Looks like Bruce kept the car from the "Stylo" video and just gave it a new paint job.

Posted by: bleujayone at December 13, 2011 10:23 AM

NinBros!

Posted by: Mrcreosote at December 13, 2011 10:25 AM

Just because I'm a fan of their characters (and at least one portrayal of said character in the first movie), I'm also a little disappointed that Sienna Miller and Rachel Nichols won't be in this. The Baroness in the White House could be all sorts of fun. But, this definitely looks like I won't have to be nearly as ashamed when I admit to enjoying a live-action G.I. Joe film.

Hoo-ah.

Posted by: RobP at December 13, 2011 10:40 AM

Looks like Jon Chu accomplished what David E. Kelley could not...he got Adrianne Palicki kicking ass on-screen (minus the goofy outfit).

Kudos to Chu...and ticket sold!

Posted by: Barry at December 13, 2011 11:59 AM

John McClane? Is this the new Die Hard movie? It is, isn't it?

I think popcorn action flicks are heading to a point of convergence. Eventually, we will have Die Hard Faster and Furiouser: Electric Boogaloo in My Expendable Transformer Crank.

Posted by: LB at December 13, 2011 12:07 PM

THE ROCK! Yea, I'm seeing this movie. What an awesome soundtrack to the trailer. Ooo fun!

Posted by: Littlejon2001 at December 13, 2011 12:16 PM

Is that version of seven nation army available anywhere else?

Posted by: Yastobaal at December 13, 2011 12:39 PM

What the fuck? Why does this look like something fun? How did that happen?

Also, someone give LB an award or something, please.

Posted by: twig at December 13, 2011 12:50 PM

I saw the first solely because of Byung-hun Lee. Will I see the second because of him? Probably. I mean I didn't like G.I. Joe growing up. Now Captain Planet on the other hand. I didn't watch that either. I don't know what I watched. Winnie the Pooh comes to mind. Anyways yeah, Byung is effin hot.

Posted by: googergieger at December 13, 2011 2:49 PM

@Yastobaal: I think that is the Glitch Mob remix of Seven Nation Army. If it is, it's easy enough to find online. It's pretty badass.

Posted by: space oddity at December 13, 2011 3:02 PM

as well as Justin Beiber: Seriously, What The Fuck

Oh, Tk. God bless you.

Posted by: Lauren at December 13, 2011 4:23 PM

And LB locks up a spot on EE for the week.

Well done.

Posted by: PissBoy at December 13, 2011 5:02 PM

BWOOOOMB
BWOOOOMB
This sound punctuates...
BWOOOOMB
every trailer so you know when a moment is...
BWOOOOMB
Dramatic!

And slow to fast combat sequences? Nobody could see that coming!

I'll admit it looks better than the first, but the first one gets credit for being a live action adaptation of Team America: World Police.

Posted by: Harborwolf at December 13, 2011 5:15 PM

Bruce Willis and The Rock in a GI Joe movie.... I'm sitting at full chub here.

Posted by: Ben at December 13, 2011 6:44 PM

As important as Cobra Commander's headgear being fixed is the lack of lips on Snake Eyes mask. Lips on Snake Eyes mask = nipples on batsuit. It's already a better movie than the first.

Posted by: danielrandkai at December 13, 2011 9:06 PM

Whoa, whoa here. I think you're confusing actresses. Sienna Miller was the wooden actress imitating wood and did a phenomenal job. Oscar worthy. Rachel Nichols was the one who gave us all wood.

Giggity.

Posted by: Spankyvanspanky at December 13, 2011 10:42 PM

The Rock aaand WILLIS?!! I'm SO there!!!!!!

Posted by: stu at December 16, 2011 1:34 AM

John McClane and a spiffy new cover of "Seven Nation Army"? Put me down as a maybe.

Posted by: AngelArm45 at December 16, 2011 4:48 PM