Pajiba

DO NOT BRING JANE AUSTEN INTO THIS, YOU A*HOLE PRODUCERS. Modern twist? You mean, you waved a copy of Sense & Sensibility over this festering martini of schlock like a vermouth bottle? I HATE YOU. DIE IN A FIRE. THIS LOOKS BAD.

I'd have picked up that thrown gauntlet except I'm at work and watching video is a no-no.

I'm curious: does "reminiscent" of Jane Austen mean that somebody named Jane and somebody named Austin were on the set when this little Afterschool Special was filmed?

Please tell me there's a talking dog in this movie. Please? HOW WILL I KNOW THE TRUE MEANING OF CHRISTMAS WITHOUT A TALKING DOG??!!!?

Austenphiles:

I appeal to you directly. We have been silent too long. Every year or so somebody tries to defile Jane's legacy by claiming their little piece of cinema trash is a modern twist on her work. Few succeed. Most never even come close. And some really push my opposition to the death penalty to the nth degree (I'm looking at you Bridget Jones). We can put up with this no more. Let us rise up and reclaim Jane. We cannot let this travesty continue. It is a truth universally acknowledged that a bad director in possession of a terrible script must be in need of a disembowelling if he/she even tries to use Ms. Austen's work to sell his crap.

I didn't watch it and fuck you for trying to shame me into doing so. Like I have shame anyway.

I just watched the trailer and FUCK YOU, TK. You took a Sharron Angle campaign commercial and made us think it was a trailer. I'm sure you thought it was a fun joke but this year's election already has me terrified enough of menacing-looking lower income Hispanics with their bad interior decor and their monopoly of the garment industry. Do you want to make me afraid to leave the house ever again?

...Not for me.
I'm reminded of how I felt when I saw Greek Wedding with a girl whose family was Greek. She laughed with recognition at the culture nods, while I played along.
Someone's gonna find this funny, but it's not gonna be me.

Bother this nonsense.

I caved after a minute. Fuck you, TK.

I will look for the silver lining in this cloud.

I enjoyed looking at Camilla Belle.

PRADA actually means NADA without love, family and community.

/nods his head sagely

Word up.

i watched. it wasn't TOO pandering. it didn't look like the end of the world. i'm sure it has its audience.
Posted by: gp at November 9, 2010 11:05 AM

Was that sarcasm? I mean, I sincerely hope so, it's just that you gotta have a little more sabor in your sarcasm salsa, but not too caliente or else you've perde.

HA HA HA HA! Get it?! They all have a whole bunch of names because they're MEXICAN. Those people have so many names! HA HA HA HA HA!

I'm afraid that if I watch this it will crush my soul even more than that time they released a new Wuthering Heights edition with a Twilight-like cover. Because Twilight was INSPIRED by it.

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAACK I DID NOTHING TO DESERVE THIS FUCKERY!

I admit I could not watch it. And as someone of Mexican descent I am deeply offended by the entire premise of this movie and especially by the bad "Prada to Nada" pun. Yuck!

So, they took our shitty, family film jerbs?

I'm sorry, are there not any people of Mexican lineage in the 90210 zip code? Are there like, dogs keeping them out?

I'm sorry, are there not any people of Mexican lineage in the 90210 zip code? Are there like, dogs keeping them out?

Nope, just passive-aggressive racism.

Didn't the Duff sisters already do this and call it Material Girls?

1:00

"neither Nora nor Mary speak Spanish or have ever had to take on actual responsibility."

"9-1-1, how can I help you?"

"Grammar police, please."

"One moment ..."

Calm down. It honestly wasn't THAT bad. I've seen much, much worse. The Hottie and the Nottie, anyone? Beverly Hills Chihuahua?

As a Jane Austen fan, I watched the trailer trying to figure out where Sense and Sensibility was in this story (far, far away, apparently) and thereafter spent a good five minutes cringing about all the East L.A. scenes.

As an American of Mexican descent and a former East L.A. denizen, I understand ironically using stereotypical tropes in order to subvert the idea of a normative immigrant "experience" pushed upon us by an establishment that denies its inherent power and white privilege under the banner of equal opportunity, but...

I don't think they're being ironic.

Eh, I've seen worse.

If they're saying that it's a modern twist on Sense and Sensibility then I demand that the guy in the suit be secretly engaged to someone completely inappropriate, and Camilla Belle is unable to admit her feelings to herself, culminating in a dramatic moment in which it's revealed that his brother ran off with his secret fiance. On hearing this Camilla Belle bursts into tears. But that won't happen because it's not really a modern twist on any thing. It's another cheesy movie that I will probably end up watching in five years when I'm really sick and have no defences against the temptation of a bad movie.

As a poor person, you'd think I'd enjoy seeing the nobility in poverty being coupled with the incompetence of the wealthy. How rich people are always stupid and dishonest. How their inability to handle everyday life is only matched by their desire to run screaming from "their heritage." And how they can only discover true happiness by losing everything that they thought was important.

Not so much. Aside from the fact that stupid celebutants like Paris Hilton would be just as useless if they were poor, poor people have just as many useless jackasses as rich people. Do any of these writers remember what it was like to hold a regular job? It's like they've forgotten that people aren't stupid because they're rich. They're stupid because they're stupid.

And the only thing shocking about this trailer was that it's somehow a theatrical release instead of an ABC Family movie of the week. I would say a Disney Channel movie, but clearly Selena Gomez had enough sense to pass on it.

Oh, you porcelian babies. No one 'made' you do anything, so toss on some Ludwig van B., you'll be fine. If your sensibilities are so delicate, why did you watch it? To grouse-- which is dandy, seriously, but be honest about it. Jane Austen will be fine, artistes. This movie looks profoundly lame, but geez, all of this outrage must be tiring.

I think this was written by a white person who had a few too many tequila shots and tacos (which means any), they then fell on their remote which changed the channel to Telemundo, which they watched until they passed out in a pool of their own vomit. They woke up the next morning and turned that vomit into this script. They possibly also believe Saddam Hussein is pictured on bottles of Tapatio. That said, is Alexa Vega legal yet?

So...here's the deal.

I love me some Kuno Becker. I've followed him ever since he was in the cheesy Mexican telenovelas that my mom and I (and any half-decent woman of Mexican descent) used to watch, religiously at that. Gotta support my peoples, yo.

So just how much of a part does he have in this? Because he is the hotness and I still dream of having his babies one day so I'd totally be willing to sit through this dreck just sos I can big heapin' helping of Kuno. Only for him.

Wilder Valderrama, however? He can totally suck it especially with those statutory raping ways of his (I firmly believe he f**ked up Lindsay Lohan thousands of ways and her relationship with him, combined with her severe daddy issues did her in). I'm surprised he's still even working in that town given that he should be on some street corner spit shining my shoes.

But I do digress. If it's lotsa Kuno, I'm in. Otherwise? Boo.

It seems to be a modern twist on sense and sensibility in the same way the poop I took this morning was a modern twist on last night's dinner. Yes, they're technically similar, but any trace of nutrition was lost somewhere in Hollywood's small intestine.