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Former Big Man On Campus Taylor Kitsch Is The Big Man In Japan: Japanese Trailers For John Carter And Battleship

By Rob Payne | Posted Under Trailers | Comments (4)



pajibataylorkitschisntbiginjapan.jpg

Not to be confused with being the Big Man Japan. Which, I believe, would look a little more like this:

pajibataylorkitschisbigmanjapanA.jpg


Although, to be fair, I’m not really certain Taylor Kitsch is all that “big” in Japan, either. When I tried to Google Image search “taylor kitsch japan” for the header, I mostly found pics of his pecks, and only about half from the upcoming John Carter Disney flick. Granted, those wouldn’t have been inappropriate because I am embedding the Japanese trailer for the movie below, but I’m killing two Kitsches with one post here. Where would the Japanese trailer for Peter Berg’s Battleship, also included below, be in that arrangement? Playing second fiddle to a movie that can’t acknowledge its source material’s original title in anyway for fear of alienating its audience? At least the board game adaptation knows what it is and stands by it, even if it refuses to tell us what aliens have to do with Milton Bradley.

Anyway, I just found it interesting that the John Carter trailer actually shows the novel’s framing device by using Edgar Rice Burroughs as an actual character in the movie. Even if you can’t understand Japanese and have never read the first Barsoom series book, the story’s context is given much more clarity here than in the earlier looks.


John Carter - International Trailer #1 [VOJP|HD] by cinemakervideo
(via Deadline)

As for Battleship, we get a lot less plot and a lot more of what I traditionally think the Japanese go for. (Besides the poster above.) Namely: Space. Battleships. Space Battleships. And Rihanna. I’m pretty certain the idea of turning the game into a movie makes much more sense over there than it does here, too. I’ve seen Machine Girl and The Happiness of the Katakuris, and that much random grotesque insanity wouldn’t fly over here. But ‘splosions are the universal language.


(via /Film)


Rob Payne also writes the indie comic The Unstoppable Force, tweets on the Twitter @RobOfWar, and his ware can be purchased here (if you’re into that sort of thing). He knows you’ve probably heard that “math is the universal language,” but, no, it really is ‘splosions.









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Comments

So if 'splosions are the universal language, does that mean that Michael Bay movies are universal translators? Or a cinematic Esperanto? Or I'm I just hoping someone else will pick up on this and start a series of Baynis jokes?

Posted by: Groundloop at December 29, 2011 10:13 AM

Sigh. What can I say, Japanese love them cheesy. I don't know what happened between subtlety of Kurosawa to this... They even adore Paris Hilton of all abominations.

Incidentally, Transformer was a Japanese product first. So I guess the love for explosions and cheesy non-sensical non-story spectacles is symptomatic of tiny members.

Really, how did Japan come to this?

Posted by: yocean at December 29, 2011 1:51 PM

Look at it this way Rob - pics of his pecs are way better than pics of his pickled pepper.

Posted by: Bert at December 29, 2011 5:12 PM

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Posted by: Joella Hargroder at February 3, 2012 9:08 AM