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Footloose (Remake) Trailer: Were You Born in the 1970s? If So, This Trailer Will Break Your Soul

By Dustin Rowles | Posted Under Trailers | Comments (58)

Comedy_footloose_remake_first_look_header_63300.jpg

I just wanted to take a moment to thank the good people behind this Footloose remake for turning what was one of my favorite flicks as a child into what is essentially Step Up crossed with a hand full of shit. There’s a lot of ways you could go wrong with a remake, and this two minute and 33 second trailer outlines almost all of them. There’s not even a hint of the Kenny Loggins song, and without the Kenny Loggins song, there’s no movie. That, in addition to Kevin Bacon and Chris Penn’s goofy earnest charm was the movie. It wasn’t a dance movie, it was a movie with dance in it. This? This is crap. Hot steaming crap that will melt on your chest.

This trailer has broken my soul. I want Kevin Bacon to do to this movie what he did to the assholes in Death Sentence.











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Comments

That was everything I expected and less.

Posted by: Lawdog at June 21, 2011 8:54 PM

Well, at least it looks like they're going to preserve the gymnastics routine in the abandoned barn. Other than that? Fuck this movie.

Posted by: CL at June 21, 2011 8:57 PM

I want Kevin Bacon to do to the 'kids' in this trailer what he did to the kids in Sleepers.

Posted by: LwoodPDowd at June 21, 2011 9:04 PM

I think what hurts the most are the nods to the earlier film. The car, the angry gymnastics dance scene, the costumes at the end, Renn and Willard bopping down the hall. It would have been easier for all of us who love this film if they had just cut ties completely and done their own update. It still would have been terribad, but less poignantly so.

Also "This is our time"?? ET TU, GOONIES?!?!?

Also, there IS a hint of the Kenny Loggins song. . .right at the beginning. . .and it's a backbeat, remixed abomination. Kill it with fire.

Also, Willard is right, he does talk funny. What the sh*t accent is that? In short, MTV, hands off the 80's, okay?

Posted by: coveredinbees at June 21, 2011 9:05 PM

Why is the kid from Rabbit Hole in this?!! He was so good!!! I want to kill things!!

Posted by: Theseus at June 21, 2011 9:07 PM

If you stop it at 00:17, this trailer is delightful.

Posted by: jM at June 21, 2011 9:07 PM

My soul is broken indeed.
Who the fuck approved this?!?!!?!

Posted by: MissRos at June 21, 2011 9:15 PM

Also "This is our time"?? ET TU, GOONIES?!?!?

THIS. SERIOUSLY WHAT THE SHIT.

Posted by: twig at June 21, 2011 9:19 PM

Bleh. Also...is anyone seeing ad (I don't even know what it's for...Duke Nukem? Am I that old that even the game has been remade?) in which an asshole is tickled open?!

Posted by: Lexie at June 21, 2011 9:23 PM

now i can see why even zac efron and the kid from gossip girl who looks like zac efron got off this train

Posted by: the chaplain at June 21, 2011 9:24 PM

This makes me sad - when I found out one of the students from my niece's dance school was going to be Renn in the new Footloose I had high hopes. Yeah, not so much anymore. This looks terrible.

And God, am I ashamed of my Boston accent. We don't all sound that over the top, do we? I need to start pronouncing my Rs.

Posted by: Kiko at June 21, 2011 9:26 PM

Wait. I'm confused. Wasn't Zac Efron supposed to be in this? Not that I'm highly offended that he's not. I'm massively indifferent. But. I'm just sayin'.

Posted by: SJfromSJ at June 21, 2011 9:27 PM

I was born in the 70s.

I have never seen Footloose.

*cue shocked gasps*

Posted by: DarthCorleone at June 21, 2011 9:28 PM

Kevin Bacon should show up in Sebastian Shaw form, absorb all the kinetic energy of the dancing, and detonate the entire town.

Posted by: DarthCorleone at June 21, 2011 9:31 PM

I was born in the 80's, Darth, I will own you on the all-Bacon QRANK game.

Posted by: coveredinbees at June 21, 2011 9:32 PM

In this version, the parents made the right call. Just Godawful looking.

Posted by: altan at June 21, 2011 9:38 PM

Ugh. Get off my lawn.

Posted by: thatsjesstastic at June 21, 2011 9:51 PM

BURN HOLLYWOOD- BURN !!

Posted by: Mr. stitch at June 21, 2011 9:57 PM

Uggh, gross. Thanks at least for putting a picture of Christina Hendricks' tatas in close proximity to this article.

Posted by: kimk at June 21, 2011 10:09 PM

I want Kevin Bacon to come and do to this what he did to the Graboid with a missing tentacle.

I want Kevin Bacon to come and do to this what he did to basketball in the Air Up There.

I want Kevin Bacon to go get a damn backhoe and drive over EVERY copy of this movie while "Holdin' Out for A Hero" plays over and over again at top volume.

Even the VW Bug is ashamed of this movie.

This isn't even raping my childhood. This is raping my teen years. Who would do that?!

Posted by: Mrcreosote at June 21, 2011 10:17 PM

This might be worse than the stage musical version. I didn't think that was possible. I'd take an eight hour marathon of "Mama Says" and the courtroom rap over ninety minutes of How Ren Stomped the Yard to Bring it On for Footloose.

Posted by: Robert at June 21, 2011 10:19 PM

WHY? DEAR SWEET CRACKER SAMMICH WHY?!?!?!?!

Posted by: Melody at June 21, 2011 10:23 PM

OMG!!! WTF!!!

Posted by: China Cat at June 21, 2011 10:24 PM

I guess if this Footloose remake means that MTV Films will keep its grubby little mitts off of Rocky Horror, I can live with it. Still sad, but sacrifices are inevitable in the cinema.

Posted by: Jerry at June 21, 2011 10:26 PM

Saw the preview. So so SO awful. You pretty much saw all the dancing there is. There is nothing good in this film. Nothing.

Posted by: ChickaBoom! at June 21, 2011 10:53 PM

@jM: Well played.

I feel like I just watched a really bad middle school production of the original, but with really great production values.

Posted by: RobP at June 21, 2011 10:58 PM

at least there is a proper depiction of rural America, country kids all have supernatural dance skills

Posted by: carrboroninja at June 21, 2011 11:05 PM

It doesn't help that every "teenager" in this movie looks like they are in their mid-30s. Otherwise, I was expecting worse. But they can take their 0.5 seconds of Kenny Loggins riff and shove it up their ass.

I'm gonna go find the appropriate Flight of the Conchords segment on Youtube and remind myself of how to do a Footloose remake right. Oh, here it is:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XkQsrFYBdRA

These guys come from the other side of the planet and I trust them with preserving American culture more than almost anyone in Hollywood.

Here is a bonus Flight of the Conchords clip for you:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xdglSCYkPnk&feature=related

And here's another one:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DEithgobtqg

If anyone needs me, I'll be on Youtube.

Posted by: Three-nineteen at June 21, 2011 11:14 PM

How, exactly, did they manage to work an exploding bus into the Footloose storyline?

Posted by: Soothsayer at June 21, 2011 11:16 PM

The trailer I found for the Footloose remake wasn't that bad.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UHWDjK94sBM

Posted by: googergieger at June 22, 2011 12:20 AM

I was born in the very late 60s (16 when the original came out) and I cringed through the entire remake trailer.

The best thing about the original Footloose is that the kids weren't great dancers (except for the professional extras). Kevin Bacon was like the best male dancer at your high school, in other words, good, but not that good. And anyone who ever saw the original tee vee Fame knew that Lori Singer had absolutely no dancing talent (yes, I never missed an episode of Fame...NEVER!).

And thanks, Three-nineteen for the Conchords links. I know what I'll be doing for the next hour or so.

Posted by: pumpkin at June 22, 2011 12:51 AM

The two leads f*cking suck!

I wanted to punch that dude after hearing the accent. Is he supposed to be a foreigner??

Who Cares.

On a side note, I attempted to show my nephew the original and he couldn't sit through it. So I guess kids won't sit through this since it's basically the same. Nice remake choice!

Posted by: junierizzle at June 22, 2011 1:45 AM

Where's the effin rain machine!?

Posted by: James S at June 22, 2011 1:49 AM

No music that made me want to dance. Its about fake teens (played by adults) pissed off at adults. Apparently that never gets old.

Wow, its awesome, it made me want to watch the 80s version again, and laugh when people tell me downloading pirated copies is evil.

Ironically teens of today are less active sitting at computers all day letting their ass grow around computer chairs. Can we get a new version call Buttloose?

Posted by: billbixbeee at June 22, 2011 4:34 AM

The existence of this steaming pile of crapulence definitively proves one of the following statements:
1. There is no God
2. Satan exists
I'm kind of hoping it's the second one, because at least then every single fucker involved in this travesty will burn for eternity whilst being forced, Clockwork Orange-style, to watch this movie on a loop.

Posted by: miss wilson at June 22, 2011 5:34 AM

Isn't this the next film in the Step Up franchise? Step Up and Fuck Up an 80s Classic.

Kevin Bacon would be turning in his grave if he were dead.

Posted by: pem at June 22, 2011 6:00 AM

Anyone seen my eyeballs? I gauged them out at the 20 second mark and I have been having trouble locating them...

Posted by: Illuminatus at June 22, 2011 8:10 AM

I just shed a tear. This is wrong on so many levels. Has "Hollywood" no shame?

Posted by: Sarah at June 22, 2011 8:34 AM

And of course the town has one Black kid. Just the one mind you. And I'll bet he's great at basketball as well as dancing.

Also, I'm with bees, his accent is really weird. He sounds like someone from California trying to do Long Island and confusing it with Boston.

Posted by: PaddyDog at June 22, 2011 9:16 AM

Did I see a shot of "Joanie Stubbs" from Deadwood in there?! Did I then imdb that shit to confirm? Yes. WTF Kim Dickens!?!?!?!??! What the fucking fuck!??

Posted by: beet salad at June 22, 2011 9:53 AM

Have any of you seen Footloose lately? It's bad. BAD. So is Flashdance, and I LOVED that movie when I was 14.
The remake will garner the same attention as the original because 14 year olds are what they are.

Posted by: the other Courtney at June 22, 2011 9:54 AM

I want Kevin Bacon.


that is all.

Posted by: mswas at June 22, 2011 9:57 AM

Holy...what the...mother...sonofa....

Dammit. Enough. ATTENTION Hollywood motherfuckers. I don't understand WHY you can't just admit that you are creatively bankrupt and go find something else to do. Why are you compelled to copy all that is good (or in this case slightly better than mediocre) with the past and "modernize" it?

Get it through your thick skulls you lickers of the chocolate starfish. Your way is not making things better. You didn't get the clue when people vomited at your colorized Casablanca. You haven't seen how your CGI "advancements" are killing film as a storytelling medium. But your greatest crime against humanity is thinking that stories that have already been told need to be updated or today's audience won't "get it".

If a story was good enough to be loved and enjoyed by one generation, it clearly has the elements necessary to appeal to other generations as well. Humanity doesn't change that much or that quickly. Look up "timeless" and ponder what it means. Then stop fucking with shit. Period.

Eat penguin shit and die you ass spelunkers.

***pant, wheeze, pant***

Posted by: NateS1973 at June 22, 2011 10:00 AM

This is what you get Rowles! You accept one remake, True Grit, you accept them all! MUUUAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!

Posted by: logan at June 22, 2011 10:02 AM

To be fair, a lot of small towns have one black kid - when I was in high school, there were two black kids, one in my class and one two years ahead of me.

Posted by: Three-nineteen at June 22, 2011 10:06 AM

I was born in the 70's. I've never liked the original Footloose. Not even a little. Even so, this trailer pisses me off.

Posted by: Paultera at June 22, 2011 10:50 AM

5 words.

Parking Lot Hiphop dance sequence.

That is all.

Posted by: MachineGunJeanMaurice at June 22, 2011 11:07 AM

Um....They spelled it Bomont? Even the town name is stupid!

Posted by: JenVegas at June 22, 2011 11:18 AM

Yeah, that was totally unnecessary. The original wasn't good, but this is the opposite of good. If they were going to update it, why not set it in the thumpiest parts of the Bible belt and fill it with the actual tensions in those places? If you're going to have a dance-off, make it interesting instead of obvious stage choreography. It's not like there are a lack of options for ways to change a storyline to feel at least moderately relevant or original. There's just a lack of will.

Posted by: RebaSays at June 22, 2011 11:21 AM

Kevin Bacon will rise from the grave and destroy the lives of everyone involved in this blasphemy (yes, I realize he isn't dead but the image of Kevin Bacon coming out of the ground with glowing eyes and an unholy banshee scream to perform his Footloose vengeance is quite appealing in light of this trailer).

Posted by: The Scraggler at June 22, 2011 11:29 AM

Wow, you all need to get over yourselves. It's not like they're remaking Schindler's List into a stoner comedy or anything. The original Footloose was a crappy, unrealistic dance movie that appealed to teenagers. The new Footloose is a crappy, unrealistic dance movie that appeals to teenagers (albeit with MUCH worse accents).

Posted by: Nate at June 22, 2011 11:32 AM

Yep, when they showed the hallway scene in the school, I thought it must be the local community college; couldn't they find any actual teens for this movie?

And Renn's accent is distractingly unrecognizable -- Bostonian? Scottish? Ah, bad.

Even the trailer realizes its overall suckitude. Anyone notice the neon sign flickers out one of the letters? It reads "FootLOSE." Trailer-makers ftw.

Posted by: melia at June 22, 2011 11:35 AM

I think MTV want to kill us. Did you noticed the teens listening/dancing to Footloose at the beginning, were killed in the next frame?

Posted by: Devo at June 22, 2011 11:52 AM

"I want Kevin Bacon to do to the 'kids' in this trailer what he did to the kids in Sleepers."

@LwoodPDowd

Damn, that was cold! (I totally agree!)

Posted by: Laura at June 22, 2011 12:08 PM

as a proud Utah girl, i have to say the Lehi roller mills were as much a part of that movie as Kevin Bacon was, I can't accept a remake that doesn't include them.

Also, this looks utterly unnecessary. The original is plenty awesome.

Posted by: replikate at June 22, 2011 6:01 PM

I don't know why they keep giving Randy Quaid shit for his drug problem. It looks like Dennis Quaid just knows how to hide it better. ET TU, DENNIS QUAID?

Posted by: duckandcover at June 22, 2011 6:25 PM

I can't believe Dennis Quaid decided to join this crapfest just to be that Miley-cirus-like's father.

Posted by: James at June 27, 2011 11:14 PM

This movie makes me angry. When I saw Footloose as a young teen, it was pretty racy. I remember feeling embarrassed sitting with my mom while Kevin and Lori were first making serious "hot for you" looks and then groping each other. It was so hot, for that time. Now we have a movie meant for teenagers but with thirty year olds acting like they are on spring break or some Beaches holiday. Not even children in high school dance that slutty. I know this comment is sociological and most of the comments are more about the original movie, so, sorry about that. I worry about this kind of thing. So You Think You Can Dance is sometimes a bit racy for my seven year old, and that is Disney compared to this "dancing whores" fest. And I don't just mean the girls.

Posted by: groove_with_it at July 9, 2011 2:31 PM