Fired Up Trailer

Oh yeah. This bitch looks promising.

Bring It On… So I Can Shoot It Dead / TK

Trailers | December 15, 2008 | Comments (33)

No, no. It’s not another Bring It On movie — although, holy fuck — am I the only one who didn’t know that there are four Bring it On movies? Jesus, talk about fucking that corpse dry.

Anyway, this is a far more promising concept! Fired Up is about a couple of football players who quit the team and go to cheerleading camp to try to get laid.

That’s it. That’s the plot.

You know, someone got paid to think of that. I would like to kill that person. For free. In any event, it stars that shitburper from the Dumb and Dumber prequel, as well as a bunch of other shiny-toothed meatsacks. It also stars John Michael Higgins as the obligatory gay man — you know every cheerleader/dancing movie’s gotta have a gay man! Oh, John Michael. Why? You actually have talent! Here, he dances, and most likely speaks in an exaggerated, effeminate fashion.

I am making a very sad face right now.

Oh, and the trailer’s a little NSFW for some language.

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Comments

But will it have spirit fingers? No? Then fuck 'em in their spirit holes!

Posted by: admin at December 15, 2008 11:07 AM

Is this another American Pie "beat the horse til you get glue" movie? Is Eugene Levy in it?

Posted by: Shadows of Dakaron at December 15, 2008 11:13 AM

Of course there will be spirit fingers! Can you imagine what those babies could do under a skirt?

Posted by: Sofía at December 15, 2008 11:24 AM

All I want for Christmas is the magical ability to stab things though to be unstabbable. Like movies. Like this one. The ability to run up to the screen and stab it with my magical shiv and have everybody on screen feel it would be awesome.

Posted by: Skitz at December 15, 2008 11:28 AM

God DAMN IT Sofia, now I'm imagining Sparky Polastri finger banging a cheerleader. My day is ruined.

Posted by: Julie at December 15, 2008 11:30 AM

I must admit that the first Bring it on was good only because Gabrielle Union was in it and unlike the majority of white women she didn't have any desire to be anorexic. Oh ok I'm sorry, Kristen Dunst was hot also.

Posted by: Pookie at December 15, 2008 11:32 AM

You just want to be that cheerleader, don't you Julie?

Posted by: Shadows of Dakaron at December 15, 2008 11:34 AM

You just want to be that cheerleader, don't you Julie?

Posted by: Shadows of Dakaron at December 15, 2008 11:34 AM

Bring it On's a guilty pleasure... I always think the title has an exclamation point in it for some reason.

Posted by: whatBENwatches at December 15, 2008 11:35 AM

Gah!!

Posted by: Julie at December 15, 2008 11:38 AM

See, now all I can do is wonder what fucking a corpse dry would entail.

Posted by: Erin S at December 15, 2008 11:38 AM

Mentok the Mindtaker will take your mind and make you think this movie is good, yes he will. Mark my words.

This is random, but I'm with what Sofia said the other day. We need to be able to sign into this bitch.

Posted by: Sabrina at December 15, 2008 11:40 AM

See, now all I can do is wonder what fucking a corpse dry would entail.

How do you think mummies were made?

Posted by: Sabrina at December 15, 2008 11:41 AM

See, now all I can do is wonder what fucking a corpse dry would entail.

Like most things in life, heavy applications of lubricant can get you pretty much anywhere you need to be.

I picked that one up from Aesop's lesser fables.

Posted by: twig at December 15, 2008 11:43 AM

It should be known that, when using spirit fingers for things other than their intended use, one must carefully regulate the amount of 'spirit' applied. The use of too much spirit has been known to cause excessive moisture, paralysis of the lower extremeties and extremely loud profanities at volumes that are damaging to the human ear.

This is why the Federal Government has passed legislation requiring Sparky Polastri to wear mittens at all times. It is commonly reffered to as the No 'O' bill.

Posted by: admin at December 15, 2008 11:46 AM

excessive moisture

No moisture is excessive moisture.

Posted by: twig at December 15, 2008 11:49 AM

Confession time:

I was a cheerleader in high school and at all of our sleepovers we would get drunk, watch that movie and do the splits while discussing which guys we wanted to give us the ol' spirit fingers.

Posted by: becks at December 15, 2008 11:59 AM

This is why the Federal Government has passed legislation requiring Sparky Polastri to wear mittens at all times. It is commonly reffered to as the No 'O' bill.

Bwa!! Admin, I can not in good conscience put my support behind that bill.

Posted by: Julie at December 15, 2008 12:01 PM

Thanks, Sabrina!!!

WE WANT TO SIGN IN
WE WANT TO SIGN IN
WE WANT TO SIGN IN

Posted by: Sofía at December 15, 2008 12:05 PM

When I think of my high school movies, I pity today's youth. John Hughes may have been a tad redundant but at least he did variations on a theme, not Eighteen Candles. God damn. I can't even tell these "actresses" and "actors" apart.

Plus, we hated cheerleaders and made them cry. My other high school didn't even have cheerleaders. The only cheerleader I want to see onscreen is Buffy killing something.

Posted by: amanda47 at December 15, 2008 12:13 PM

Wait a sec: So you quit being a STAR FOOTBALL PLAYER to become a cheerleader in order to get more tail? Isn't that against the rules of all vaguely sports related movies?

And, you know, real life?

My world has gone completely wrong now. I could accept panda-fuckers, taco dip, and even conjoined-twin molesting, but this. This. IS. UNACCEPTABLE!!!!!

DOES NOTHING MAKE SENSE ANYMORE?!?!!?!!!

Posted by: Vermillion at December 15, 2008 12:29 PM

Confession time:

I loved Bring It On, because it was dumb and cute and fun. And also? Eliza Dushku is that girl I'd risk detention and smoke in the bathroom with just to impress her because I'm SOOOOO secretly in love with her although I'm straight.

Posted by: Sweetie Darling at December 15, 2008 12:40 PM

brrr.

I hate the word 'moisture'.

You know, every time I hear of one of these movies getting made, I beat myself up for not thinking of the idea. I mean jeebus I would be a millionaire with all the horrible movie ideas bouncing around in my head. Fuck that trying to write the next Oscar winner, I'm just gonna try to write the most generic shit I can think of and make some sweet, sweet money out of it.

Picture this: 5 horny frat boys want to get laid. With some virgins. Their solution? Dress up as nuns and infiltrate a convent!

HILARITY ENSUES!

Hmm. I'm totally copywriting that idea. You heard it here first, folks.

Posted by: figgy at December 15, 2008 1:23 PM

figgy: You need Megan Fox playing a stripper who dresses as the Virgin Mary in her act to inspire the guys into that idea. Then release her whole strip scene in the redband trailer and the advertising takes care of itself.

Posted by: becks at December 15, 2008 1:32 PM

Why do cheerleaders on tv shows and movies never have coaches? This pisses me off to no end! Although coach in high school was pretty apathetic, the captain of the squad would never been able to just run things. Trust me, if I could've gotten away with that at seventeen, I would have made all the bitchy head-cheerleaders that Hollywood has created look like fairy princesses.

Aside from that rant, Bring It On was hilarious and I still like to randomly quote it. Don't mess with perfection! And I'm ashamed to admit I used to like Eric Christian Olsen. What the hell is he doing with his career?

Posted by: Austin at December 15, 2008 1:34 PM

HAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!

Becks Just for that, I'm giving you some of my earnings.

Posted by: figgy at December 15, 2008 1:41 PM

I don't know if there are any Keith and the Girl listeners on Pajiba, but that guy with the black hair out of the two main characters, that actor sounds just like Michael Matterra. As a result, I like that actor, because I always picture him when Michael Matterra talks.

Posted by: Lucas at December 15, 2008 2:18 PM

Follow me or perish, sweater monkeys!

Don't feel bad, Austin. I used to watch "the Loop" just to watch Olsen.

Posted by: Melissa at December 15, 2008 2:21 PM

I don't know what it is about him that I find attractive, because blondes usually aren't my thing. I think it must be the "boyish charm" that you know is just a cover for all the freaky things he could do to you naked.

Posted by: Austin at December 15, 2008 2:34 PM

I can't believe people get paid to make up this crap. And me languishing away at this desk. Life is so...I'm not going to even say it...SAD!

Posted by: ph at December 15, 2008 5:27 PM

So I know a girl who is literally named Carly Davidson. The jokes are endless. But glorious.

Posted by: Optimus Rhyme at December 15, 2008 10:37 PM

Right, because it's so hard to get laid when you're a football player in high school. Sure, they aren't sparkly, undead stalkers (the new standard for cool, god save us) but that doesn't seem to stop them from slamming their junk into any willing (or inanimate) thing they stumble across. Hell, they don't even have to get creative with it.

Posted by: Reba at December 15, 2008 10:51 PM

...there's a Bring It On 4? Oh God. You realise that I now have to go find and watch this, right? Despite the inevitable crapness, I'm unable to resist the siren call of another cheer-leading movie.

And that's why, despite the sheer god-awfulness of this trailer, I'll likely be seeing "Fired Up" - I mean, I hate the two leads already (it's stupid West from Heroes and the annoying boyfriend from Tru Calling - what's not to hate?), I hate the inevitable ridiculous romantic subplots, and yet...and yet...

Posted by: Shay at December 16, 2008 10:41 AM

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