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Finally a Movie With ALL the Genres: Priest Trailer

By Steven Lloyd Wilson | Posted Under Trailers | Comments (22)

Priest-Post-Apocalypse.jpg

Somewhere along the development road of Priest, long after they completely ditched the source material of the comic book (which is set in the old West), they decided to just say fuck it, and include every single genre in a glorious hodge podge of crap. So they ended up with a post-apocalyptic horror science fiction western. Romance? There is a damsel in distress. Comedy? Hah! Getting a laugh out of the audience would require actual skill which hasn’t been apparent in the materials released so far.

Here’s the latest trailer…

You’ve got to admire their honesty, in releasing a trailer that is composed almost entirely of a single scene. A trailer is supposed to give you the film in a nutshell which (hopefully) should be enough to make you want to see more. The filmmakers have declared with this trailer that their film is one long pointless CGI fight scene. Oh hey, it’s directed by Scott Stewart and stars Paul Bettany! Because Legion was such a spectacular success.

The most baffling thing is the decision to make the vampires look more like xenomorphs than vampires of any kind. Because clearly the only element keeping the post-apocalyptic horror science fiction western from perfection was having aliens missing from the mix.

And if it makes you feel better, this film probably cost more money than the entire four season run of “Farscape.”









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Comments

Wow. Even the cross on his face looked like CGI instead of makeup. I can't wait until this comes out so I can completely ignore it like I did Legion.

Posted by: Paultera at April 14, 2011 11:10 AM

did they steal those monsters from Primeval? they look just like the future creatures of that show

Posted by: idleprimate at April 14, 2011 11:12 AM

Ah, hell. I wish they hadn't done... well, any of that.

Posted by: Reba at April 14, 2011 11:27 AM

I'M GOING TO SEE THIS MOVIE WHEN IT COMES OUT AND IT WILL ROCK MY FUCKING FACE OFF.

Because I like cheesy action flicks with no real purpose other than to make me go, "Oooooooooooo." That, and I'm a sucker for Karl Urban. I'll see anything with him in it.

Posted by: DeistBrawler at April 14, 2011 11:30 AM

Why do the monsters always waste time in roaring once they got someone? Why do they take that ONE second to show off their bad teeth and terrible breath, giving the heroes enough time to destroy them? Real animals don't do that, do they? They just POUNCE and eat. If every tard lion wasted enough time for the gazelle so he can ask how his breath is those things would be extinct. Someone needs to teach these monsters how to just kill properly. But no. They always roar.

Also, why do they always look like Gollum? Sheesh, find something else to copy why don't you.

Posted by: Figgy at April 14, 2011 11:31 AM

Wait--was that Farscape love or Farscape hate? Cuz you'd best back off John Crichton and Aeryn Sun!

Posted by: ahamos at April 14, 2011 11:42 AM

Figgy same reason the guy with the gun/sword/laser always has to explain his reasons for killing the hero, before he kills them... so they have a chance to get away.

Posted by: Mrs Smith at April 14, 2011 11:44 AM

Damn you, Deist Brawler! I had forgotten Karl Urban is in this. Was he in the clip? I may have to see it, though it's likely I'll wait for a rental. I was not sorry I waited to see Legion on DVD.

Posted by: Reba at April 14, 2011 11:48 AM

Remember when Paul Bettany was awesome and appeared in good movies? I do.

I miss you, Paul. Please come back.

Posted by: Rob at April 14, 2011 11:55 AM

I hate vampires. I'm not a big fan of Paul Bettany.

DAMN YOU KARL URBAN.

/me already knows she's spending theater prices for this piece of tripe...but I refuse to see it in 3D. I have managed to hang on to that tiny shred of scruple.

Posted by: sistercoyote at April 14, 2011 12:25 PM

Rob, I wish that too, but...

...it's Paul Bettany. Hollywood, you have my $8.

Posted by: thimble at April 14, 2011 12:28 PM

I can't wait for the toe-tapping song and dance number about a basket lunch. All western musicals have one of those.

Posted by: Robert at April 14, 2011 12:52 PM

Figgy: I'd say it is because its not enough to eat/kill the victim, but the glory and thrill of the catch must be somehow expressed, and well- Molly Shannon already has the whole comic soliloquy genre wrapped up.

Plus Tyrannosaurus look ridiculous pontificating with those tiny little dwarf arms that cannot even reach their pits.

(god I hope someone understands what I just wrote...)

Posted by: JuiceinLA at April 14, 2011 1:03 PM

I'll download it. It's Paul Bettany. I'd watch that man do his taxes

Posted by: Nadine at April 14, 2011 2:40 PM

There's nothing anyone can say or do that will diminish my anticipation for this movie.

SO THERE!

Posted by: MM at April 14, 2011 3:34 PM

A trailer is supposed to give you the film in a nutshell...

You are wrong on that point Stephen Lloyd Wilson. That is the worst sort of trailer. Why go see a movie at that point? A good trailer makes you want to see the movie. If they can do it with one scene-Fantastic! Then the rest of the movie will be fresh.

Posted by: Wembley at April 14, 2011 4:35 PM

Dunno - while I LOVE & will watch any cheesy scifi horror, this is definitely NOT a theater movie. Since movies are about a $50 dollar deal these days, & I'm cheep cheep cheep, this looks perfect for Amazon or Netflix instant. Seems to be just sucky enough to be available on Netflix pretty soon after it comes out on DVD. win=win.

Posted by: IneptFake at April 14, 2011 4:49 PM

Noting could make me dislike Paul Bettany. Nothing.

Posted by: Mel C. at April 14, 2011 5:26 PM

And if it makes you feel better, this film probably cost more money than the entire four season run of “Farscape.”

No...no, that does not make me feel better at all you bastard.

Guaranteed that no character in this movie will come close to being as fucked up scary as Scorpius. And Farscape had the talent to make you like him.

Posted by: frobme at April 14, 2011 6:41 PM

I will watch the shit out of this movie (when it's out on Netflix, and I'm extremely drunk).

Posted by: the_wakeful at April 14, 2011 6:59 PM

"Why do the monsters always waste time in roaring once they got someone? Why do they take that ONE second to show off their bad teeth and terrible breath, giving the heroes enough time to destroy them?" Why do bond villains monologue? why do criminals commit crimes? why do indians attack the settlers with bows and arrows? Why do japanese guys like girls in catholic girl uniforms? Why do real vampires go after the blond with big tits? Its their nature.

Posted by: clancys_daddy at April 14, 2011 10:03 PM

Mel C,

clearly you haven't seen Creation then.

Posted by: John G. at April 15, 2011 12:29 AM