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'Fifty Shades Darker': For People Who Don't Know How To Find Porn On The Internet

By Brian Richards | Trailers | September 13, 2016 | Comments ()

By Brian Richards | Trailers | September 13, 2016 |


50-shades-darker-jaime-dakota-zoom-0f080baa-2b2d-497d-b99e-8337dd5565b5.jpg

If you’re in the mood for yet another inaccurate and downright insulting portrayal of the BDSM lifestyle…

If you’re in the mood to once again see Dakota Johnson completely blow Jamie Dornan out of the water when it comes to charisma and acting ability (that’s not an insult, mind you. Dakota’s 100% willingness to commit to the material she was given actually helped make Fifty Shades Of Grey somewhat watchable)…

If you’re in the mood to once again wonder why Charlie Hunnam couldn’t be appearing in all these simulated sex scenes with Dakota Johnson (much to the pleasure of LaineyGossip.com, as she speaks rather highly of Hunnam’s…onscreen abilities)…

If you’re in the mood to sit in a movie theater on Valentine Day’s weekend and laugh your ass off while exclaiming, “What kind of fuckery is this?!” (and you will say that at least once or twice, especially considering that original author E.L. James refused to let this film go forward until her husband was hired to write it. No, really.)…

If you’re in the mood to wonder why the hell Hugh Dancy is in this movie and why he isn’t re-enacting NC17-rated Hannibal slashfic onscreen with Mads Mikkelsen instead…

If you’re in the mood to wonder why Kim Basinger is in this movie and why you chose to see her in this instead of staying home to watch her in 9 1/2 Weeks (particularly the scene where she’s viewing slides to the music of Eurythmics)…

If you need something else to go see at your local movie theater because John Wick: Chapter Two (which is aiming for the same release date) is completely sold out…

…you’re in luck, because the trailer for Fifty Shades Darker is finally here.

Fifty Shades Darker will be released in theaters on February 10, 2017.




Brian Richards is a Staff Contributor. You can follow him on Twitter.


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