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Even Rob Schneider Seems Confused As To Why He Has A New CBS Sitcom Starting Next Year

By Rob Payne | Posted Under Trailers | Comments (8)



pajibarobschneidersucks.jpg

Once upon a time, there was a comedian who made us all laugh and smile every Saturday night. This comedian was enthralled by copy machines, sensitive about his omnipresent nudity, really liked inappropriate customer service, and sometimes did a fairly decent Elvis impersonation. In short, this comedian was once hilarious. At least, that’s how I remember Rob Schneider’s tenure on “Saturday Night Live” in the 90s. Though, at the time I also really loved Surf Ninjas, so it’s possible I had a terrible sense of quality before puberty.

Pretty much as soon as Schneider left “SNL,” though, he seemed to star in some of the worst cinematic comedies of all time. The Animal, both Deuce Bigalow’s, The Hot Chick, and The Stapler Da Derp Dee Derp Da Teetley Derpee Derpee Dumb are so offensive to the term “comedy” that Nick Swardson never has to really worry about being the worst offender. Rob Schneider will always be there to sink even lower.

Which brings us to the comedian’s (ahem) new CBS sitcom “¡Rob!” premiering January 12, 2012. Though, apparently, CBS is willing to let bloggers and entertainment reporters float with just writing “Rob” because apparently it’s too much of a pain in the ass to get Spanish punctuation to work right. But those pesky exclamation points do serve a purpose, which is to immediately announce that Rob Schneider’s sitcom character is not of Hispanic descent, but has married into a Hispanic family — hijinks ensue! The first trailer for the new show doubles down on this, by going to the old standby of labeling Schneider as a “gringo” in a family full of, um, non-gringos. But that premise isn’t too far from “The Odd Couple” in theory, so surely it couldn’t be too terrible, could it?

It’s like some network executive is a big, big fan of Sophia Vergara in “Modern Family” (who isn’t?) and decided that a whole series based around her cultural cliches would be hilarious. While Rob Schneider (or Cheech Marin) is no Sophia Vergara, “Rob” certainly doesn’t look worse than The Animal, but that’s got to be the definition of “damning with faint praise.” Of course, this is CBS, so quality programming is the last thing that matters here.

Prediction: “Rob” will last six seasons and a movie, and I’ll then start going by my middle name, Gerard. No Gerards have ever done anything to be ashamed of, right?


Rob Payne also writes the indie comic The Unstoppable Force, tweets on the Twitter @RobOfWar, and his ware can be purchased here. He’s pretty sure Rob Schneider can’t even be described as a “guilty pleasure.”









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Comments

Though, at the time I also really loved Surf Ninjas, so it’s possible I had a terrible sense of quality before puberty.

I just rewatched that the other night and TheMaskedEmu came home in the middle and had never seen it. We both agreed that it marked the pinnacle of Schneider's career.

Posted by: KatSings at December 7, 2011 11:08 AM

If your mother got raped by a bird, and then decided to keep the child, and that child was you, would you not end up making questionable career choices?

That is to say, I think you're overlooking the main issue, which is that - based on that header pic - Rob Schneider is actually a giant blue peacock-human hybrid.

I think he's done better than I would have in his situation.


(HA! That may be my favorite comment ever, and is definitely worthy of some sort of award for excellence in commenting. :ahem: -RobP)

Posted by: zeke the pig at December 7, 2011 11:11 AM

Surf Ninjas? Dude..... my Friday night is booked now, thanks!

Posted by: Allen at December 7, 2011 11:38 AM

CBS and Rob Schneider are the perfect fit. I sincerely mean that.

That news didn't depress me, but I wanted to make a joke about Gil Gerard, so I went on YouTube to find some Buck Rogers clips and searched for "Gil Gerard". That was depressing. Did you know there's a TV show called "Action Hero Makeover"?

Posted by: Three-nineteen at December 7, 2011 11:44 AM

Still looks better than that Work It crap coming out on ABC. Or as I like to call it, the new worst thing ever in the entire existence of everything.

Posted by: googergieger at December 7, 2011 2:03 PM

SURF NINJAS!!! It only gets better with age. Come to think of it, it's been a few years since I've had the pleasure of watching...

Posted by: Colin at December 7, 2011 7:25 PM

I gotta give the guy props for chugging along, but I also gotta give props to that photographer. That shot right there is the difference between average and awesome.

Posted by: Protoguy at December 8, 2011 1:52 AM

Zeke, why do you assume it was rape. Schneider's parents were in a loving relationship between a peacock and a woman. Given that she tragically passed away after contracting Ascaridia from a single nights fling with a Congo Peafowl....well, it stands to reason that having lost his mother at a young age, and having been raised by a Peacock father, Rob Schneider would seem a bit different to us.

You're insinuation that it was rape though, or that Schneider was not raised by a Father who loved him, is hurtful and you should be ashamed of yourself.

Posted by: Hip & Cool User Name at December 9, 2011 10:03 AM