Before you click play on the below trailer for Sam Raimi’s horror flick, Drag Me To Hell, I need to ask you all to take a deep breath first. Now let it all out. As you’re exhaling, make sure to let out all the anger, the disappointment, and the sadness that Raimi provoked in Emo Spidey. It’s time we forgive, folks. Studio pressure makes us do strange things. We’ve all been there.
Now, with that out of the way, let’s think back now to a time before Spiderman. A simpler time. A time when horror movies were made with a rich sense of humor. To a time when fear and comedy were inextricably linked. Think back to the boomstick, boys and girls. That glorious boomstick and that possessed woman who swallowed souls.
From the looks of it, she’s back - although, in a slightly different form. It takes a second, but once you realize that Drag Me To Hell is suppose to harken back to that simpler time, it all comes together. I dig Alison Lohman, but I’m not entirely sold on Justin Long in a movie of this ilk. Still: It has promise. Although, I fear that those simpler times may forever be lost under the harsh studio lights.
Oh my God! A horror movie that isn't doesn't feature straight up torture, Asian children in desperate need of a bath or rehashings of done-to-death movie monsters? Yes please!
Posted by: Jeremy Feist at March 12, 2009 11:29 AM
Alison Lohman! I'm so happy she wasn't captured by sea monkeys as I feared.
Looks like May is shaping-up to be the return of my ass to a multiplex chair...
Posted by: Rykker at March 12, 2009 11:35 AM
Wow, even without sound this looks pretty cool. (I'm at work and I keep the sound off so I don't get in trouble for watching trailers. Heh. Suckers.) Also, not so much with the berserker editing... yay!
Oh My Godtopus! A horror film that doesn't feature the overblown stereotypes of horror that haunt the dedicated fan because there's still so much going on in the genre beside torture and stringy-haired Asian girls? No way.
Over-generalizations and pissiness aside, I'm excited for Drag Me to Hell. The demon seems like a cross between that great South Park where Chef is going to marry a Succubus and the evil gypsies of Thinner.
She gets banished to hell for not granting an extension on a mortgage payment? That is hilarious and deliciously topical.
I'm still wary that this is the old, "See, baby? I can change. I swear!"
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Posted by: adam at March 12, 2009 12:21 PM
AvB, remember you asked for this:
Drag Queen To Hell
Slated Release Date: June 2014
After being lured into a evil tent revival, Elton John has turned straight and become a minion for the Devil. As such, he has been given the task of a lifetime...he must drag the soul of Freddie Mercury to Hell. You see, if this happens the Devil will be able to lay claim to a slew of other musical greats, and with that he'll have the most awesome band in the univers. A band that will destroy time and space as we know it.
The only thing stopping him...the surviving members of Queen and RuPaul, who won't let Satan have a chance in Hell to succeed. Together they'll rediscover what Queen means to the world, and they'll kick the Devil out of Elton in a gigantic musical finale that will...that will...rock you.
I love how all these great looking movies have a release date after my 21st b-day. I am secure in the knowledge that I and my friend (who also turns 21 then) will go to this drunk as fuck! It’ll be awesome!
Yippie for the return of Sam Raimi, I wonder if Ash will show up in a cameo or something. If he does I think I might collapse from pure joy. Now my hopes are up goshdarnit...just to be crushed.
Why are these cursing gypsies always angry, deformed old women? That staple is a nice touch, although I wonder what its purpose is. It sure as hell ain't tightening her skin. And what is that yellow disc thingy she pulls from the girl?
Also, seances aren't the answer to everything, people.
I rent and watch horror movies by the half dozen nearly every week, and so, so many of them suck; please let this be good.
Posted by: DeadBessie at March 12, 2009 12:44 PM
I must have missed the extended part of the trailer where "it has promise".....
Posted by: Alex at March 12, 2009 12:56 PM
Awesome. It's about damned time for a real horror movie. No more of this bullshit like The Unborn or The Eye (or whatever the fuck that movie starring Jessica Alba's Ass was called).
It's about damned time for a real horror movie. No more of this bullshit like The Unborn or The Eye (or whatever the fuck that movie starring Jessica Alba's Ass was called).
That movie was called The Brown Eye.
Posted by: Clee Shay at March 12, 2009 1:59 PM
Not only do we get a topical mortgage request rejection story but also this film comes near slap bang in the middle of the anti-prejudice initiative Decade of Roma Inclusion.
I think the mysterious yellow disk is just a button. Maybe she collects buttons. And staples.
Posted by: paul at March 12, 2009 1:59 PM
That had to have been Bruce Campbell as the old gypsy woman (a Drag Queen From Hell indeed). Because he is such a "staple" in Sam Raimi movies. Huh? Yeah? Anyone? High fives? No?
Wow, the suckage of the impending Pirates 4 has immediately been canceled out.
I won't forget emo spidey. God, Spider-Man 3 blew.
Posted by: George HRBEK at March 12, 2009 3:23 PM
Am I the only one who sees this as a ripoff of Thinner?
Posted by: monitorman at March 12, 2009 3:30 PM
FUCK. YEAH.
Posted by: Nadha at March 12, 2009 3:33 PM
Wow, you'd think you all had just seen an Evil Dead 4 trailer. It looks okay. If it wasn't directed by Raimi I would write if off entirely. Right now it looks like Thinner: Part 2, not a great pedigree.
Of course I sat through the abysmal Saw 5 last night because Netflix skipped the first 5 movies in que due to long wait and I forgot to move it so obviously my taste in horror flicks ain't all that either. Did anyone else watch Saw 5? What a horribly boring yet nonsensical movie. What is with this series that you have to see the sequel to understand what the hell you already watched? Well, I'm out. As my wife said when it was over "I'm getting off the Saw bus now."
and that, people, is the only reason why I always help old ladies with their groceries
Posted by: rio at March 12, 2009 7:52 PM
Cool. It's about time terrifying old gypsy women made an appearance in modern horror. I remember reading stories about them back when I was too young to know about gypsies.
Posted by: Lucas at March 12, 2009 8:05 PM
I always assumed that Spider-Man 3 was an attempt by Raimi and the actors to get themselves out of having to do Spider-Man 4. From that perspective, they did a damn fine job.
Posted by: Jerce at March 12, 2009 8:43 PM
Drag Queen from Hell? Can I please have Bruce Campbell say that he is very lucky to have a female friend with an adam's apple?
How glad am I that someone gave Alison Lohman a lead role? SO happy! She is one of the most underrated actresses working and extremely talented and is it just me or has that girl aged not a bit since she did White Oleander?
Posted by: citizen_cris at March 13, 2009 1:14 AM
Isn't a lamia a half-snake she demon who eats children?
I guess she's had to expand, seeing how things are in the economy. I had to get a second job too.
Oh you're just fucking with me now, ya smartass.