January 26, 2009 | Comments ()

By Dustin Rowles | Trailers | January 26, 2009 |


A trailer for Downloading Nancy, a movie in which Maria Bello gets naked (are there any other kinds of Maria Bello films?) has surfaced, which suggests that the movie — which premiered at last year’s Sundance Film Festival — has unfortunately picked up a distributor and may actually see the inside of about three theaters before, no doubt, being dumped onto the IFC Channel, where it will flourish among those who can afford IFC but can’t afford porn. It’s an absolutely terrible flick — boring, painful, offensive, and tedious. Here’s what I wrote about it in last year’s Sundance coverage, and — whether it gets released or not — this is about all you’re going to hear from us about it. It doesn’t warrant any more of a review:

Downloading Nancy was like the perfect antithesis to a commercial film — if it ever gets sold (it won’t), no more than 10 people will see it, and five will ask for their money back. The film takes the torture porn subgenre a little too literally: it’s about a woman (Maria Bello) who only feels alive (or whatever) when she’s being tortured during sex. Nancy meets her torturer (Jason Patric) on the Internet, and basically requests that he sexually torment her to death. Meanwhile, Nancy’s husband (Rufus Sewell) finds out about it because Patric tells him, because he wants Sewell to lose his temper and beat the shit out of him (he does and everybody wins!).

Like I said, it’s a fairly worthless film, and it’s awfully weird to hear the jangly whimsical indie music that have playing over the trailer, as if to suggest that Downloading Nancy is some sort of life affirming flick. That music eventually gives way to Johnny Cash’s version of “Hurt,” and though it is more appropriate, it’s still way to sunshiney than this movie deserves. Honestly, I’d rather watch Donkey Punch again than suffer through this one twice (as I recall, I believe we actually walked out of this screening midway through).

Here’s the trailer, sickos (it is NSFW):

3-570bello.jpg
My Empire of Dirt. I Will Make You Hurt.

This Movie Doesn't Even Deserve a Crown of Sh*t / Dustin Rowles

Trailers | January 26, 2009 | Comments ()




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