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Start Your Morning with a Donkey Punch!

It’s Proppah Hahd-Core / Dustin Rowles

Trailers | December 4, 2008 | Comments (61)

You gotta be impressed with a filmmaker that can center an entire movie around a vile sex move. I mean, you name your movie Donkey Punch, and you already get half the Greek houses in America attending your show. Ah, but Frat Fucks: Donkey Punch is a cautionary tale, a morality play about what could happen if you’re screw up your technique. Here’s the logline: After meeting at a nightclub in a Mediterranean resort, seven young adults decide to continue partying aboard a luxury yacht in the middle of the ocean. But when one of them dies in a freak accident the others argue about what to do, leading to a ruthless fight for survival.

It’s an indie, and as I recall, it even opened at Sundance this year (we opted against attending). That doesn’t make it any good, of course. Nor does the title suggest that boorish meatheads are going to dig it. But the title does refer to the infamous backdoor punch.

Here’s the trailer:









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Comments

Laugh it up, Rowles. Keep going with the jokes about the accent.

Posted by: TK at December 4, 2008 9:09 AM

Oooooh...it has that cute guy from Cry Wolf in it. That's reason enough for me to go see it right there. Granted, I live in Birmingham, AL, so there's little to no chance a movie called DONKEY PUNCH will ever come to town. They might as well have called it "Sodomy is Fun!"

BTdubbs...am I the only person who liked Cry Wolf?

Posted by: The Pink Hulk at December 4, 2008 9:11 AM

Ha! That was actually my (poor) attempt at something British, not Southie. But in print, they look the same, huh? I think a British accent is like a Southie one, just poncier.

Posted by: Dustin at December 4, 2008 9:14 AM

The mere fact that I am supposed to take that trailer remotely seriously after learning about the instigating method of death has caused me to lose oxygen due to laughing.

I need a minute.

Posted by: Vermillion at December 4, 2008 9:18 AM

Pink Hulk - yes. Yes you are. I found it entertaining until the (now requisite) 'twist' ending, retarded enough that M. Night himself would be, like, "...dude. WTF?"

The lead guy was hot though, I'll give you that.

Posted by: Shay at December 4, 2008 9:24 AM

Personally I prefer a strawberry shortcake.

Posted by: Pookie at December 4, 2008 9:27 AM

Oh please tell me that the killing blow is a donkey punch and not some form of drug overdose. That is comedy gold.

Death by Donkey Punch!

Posted by: admin at December 4, 2008 9:32 AM

But is it better than this movie?

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7BmL-7Y1kw8

Posted by: Jay at December 4, 2008 9:36 AM

"It's like the TARDIS." NOOOOOOOOOOOOOO.

In happier news, "Dr. Horrible's Singalong Blog" is available for preorder on Amazon.com. It contains the musical commentary and other extras.

Posted by: BWeaves at December 4, 2008 9:40 AM

Lovely. Why don't these sorts of movies ever involve the chick accidentally killing the dude through some sexual maneuver? Or have I missed the trailer for Ball Buster?

Posted by: Cindy at December 4, 2008 9:41 AM

Oh no, I don't have sound here. Does that trailer have a TARDIS joke about....something dirty?

Posted by: Jay at December 4, 2008 9:45 AM

The sound came in after a few seconds. I didn't care for the pacing, but I might have to get me some Pulp anyway.

Posted by: Cindy at December 4, 2008 9:50 AM

Cindy: "Why don't these sorts of movies ever involve the chick accidentally killing the dude through some sexual maneuver? "

They did. It was called "Attack of the B Women" (B or Bee, can't remember). It was a B movie (har har har), and I can't find it listed on imdb or Netflix, probably because it was so bad, but I remember seeing it on TV. The women wore big Jackie-O sunglasses to hide the fact that they had big bee-eyes. They would pick men up in bars, do a striptease, fuck them, and the men would have heart attacks right when they came. The men were always found with their pants around their ankles and no visible means of homicide. It was campy and very bad, and very 70's.

Posted by: BWeaves at December 4, 2008 9:51 AM

Ooh, now that sounds like some fun, though heart attack is a little too easy. We don't have our own version of a DP? (I'm so naive).

Posted by: Cindy at December 4, 2008 9:54 AM

What? WHAT? Death by donkey punch? They're serious. Wow.

I have now begun writing a script for a film entitled Cincinnati Steamer. It's exactly the same as Donkey Punch with a few key disgusting differences. See if you can spot where!

Three women holidaying in Ohio happen across three eager young men, and the six party at the men's apartment. However, everything goes wrong when one of the men, Brian Morris (hehe, B.M.), goaded by his peers, performs the ultimate dirty sex move on one of the women, resulting in her death from poo suffocation. The other five throw her body down the trash chute so as to avoid trouble from the police, but their own fears and consciences soon fester away inside (also, incidentally, on the outside, since apparently they're shitting on each other), before erupting into really gross violence.

Posted by: Snath at December 4, 2008 9:55 AM

When they first get on the yacht, one of the guys says, "It's like the TARDIS," refering to the inside seeming bigger than the outside.

Personally, I think it would have been funnier if he was refering to one of the girls vaginas, and that's why he punches her in the head. "Damn, it's like the TARDIS." PUNCH.

Posted by: BWeaves at December 4, 2008 9:55 AM

Patton Oswalt's words "nightmarishly elastic" were coming to mind. But not in a happy way.

Posted by: Jay at December 4, 2008 9:57 AM

You can pretty much guarantee that this movie is going to be right up someone's alley...

It had to be said.

Posted by: PaleoLithchick at December 4, 2008 10:06 AM

"I think a British accent is like a Southie one, just poncier."

Irregahdless, that was fuckin' wicked retahded.

Posted by: TK at December 4, 2008 10:10 AM

I feel like a total prude after having to google donkey punch, but can I just quickly say WTF people! If a guy ever tried to pull that shit with me I would strangle him with his own cock!

And I would call it a Purple Necklace...

Posted by: Pants at December 4, 2008 10:11 AM

Yes but how about the Alligator Fuckhouse? It's....slightly friendlier.

Posted by: Jay at December 4, 2008 10:14 AM

Or have I missed the trailer for Ball Buster?

Cindi,

That film is called Hickory Nut Crunch. It was set in rural Appalachia. It's been tied up in post-production for years.

Posted by: Amelia Bedelia at December 4, 2008 10:14 AM

She would have been okay had she preceded the Donkey Punch with a Poughkeepsie Puddle Jump.

Posted by: sansho1 at December 4, 2008 10:26 AM

Alligator Fuckhouse

I'm having WAY too much fun imagining what that could possibly be.

Posted by: Julie at December 4, 2008 10:28 AM

I have to go Google a lot of stuff. If I see pictures that scar me for life, I'm coming back to Tennessee Turkey Twist someone.

OK, I made that up (Dude with very long dangly part is strangled with own long dangly part? Do I see a comment diversion here? Make up your catchy-named, deviant, possibly deadly sex act.

Posted by: Cindy at December 4, 2008 10:34 AM

Just sit down with "The 40 Year Old Virgin"'s and Urban Dictionary and let the wonderment wash over you!

Posted by: Jay at December 4, 2008 10:41 AM

Dropped that damned parenthesis.

Posted by: Cindy at December 4, 2008 10:41 AM

That is, "The 40 Year Old Virgin"'s speech about what it's really all about, the long version of course.

Posted by: Jay at December 4, 2008 10:43 AM

I KNEW I heard it before! I love that dude in "40.."

But why is he always telling me to fuck a goat?

Posted by: Julie at December 4, 2008 10:46 AM

Generally I think people try too hard to be jaded about this stuff, and I understand it has to be hard to come up with something original, but Jesus H. Christ this particular moral theme has been done TO DEATH. If someone dies accidentally(?) and you try to cover it up, then everyone around you will go insane and start killing each other. We GET IT.

Posted by: Eep at December 4, 2008 10:51 AM

FUCK A GOAT!


"Alligator Fuckhouse" is also the one that debilitates Steve Carrell in the outtakes, ruining Gerry Bednob's flow.

Posted by: Jay at December 4, 2008 10:52 AM

everytime i hear donkey punch I think of the frat alien "DP" from Aqua Teen Hungerforce

Posted by: dylanj at December 4, 2008 10:56 AM

BWeaves, there was indeed a movie titled Attack of the Bee Women. The hottest scene in the flick was when the Bee Women were inducting another member of their little group by stripping her naked and cocooning her in thick layers of beeswax.

'Scuse me a moment.

Posted by: The Wanderer at December 4, 2008 11:26 AM

It's not about Rusty Trombones. Or Cincinnati Bow Ties. It's not about Pussy-Juice Cocktails. It's about Love.
Honestly, my favorite line from that guy. And one I quote frequently is, "I will retrieve the knife that I keep in a sheath in my boot and it will not return until It Tastes BLOOOD!" ((Or something to that effect.))

Posted by: Optimus Rhyme at December 4, 2008 11:27 AM

Rhymes, you left out Cleveland Steamer. It's so cute that you think it's about love.

Posted by: Pookie at December 4, 2008 11:30 AM

I think if you really love a man the only way to prove it is with a Chili Dog...

Posted by: grinder at December 4, 2008 11:37 AM

A Chili Dog is good, but to really show your love a Hawaiian fruit punch will do the trick.

Posted by: Pookie at December 4, 2008 12:00 PM

I'm too frightened to look that up, Pookie.

Posted by: Snath at December 4, 2008 12:23 PM

Hawaiian Facials are much more romantic..

Posted by: BarbadoSlim at December 4, 2008 12:43 PM

It's kinda off the grid Snath, some friends and I discovered it in college.

Posted by: Pookie at December 4, 2008 12:44 PM

Romantic for whom BSlim?

Posted by: Pookie at December 4, 2008 12:49 PM

*don't ask. don't look up. just don't.*

Posted by: bucdaddy at December 4, 2008 12:51 PM

hehehehehehe

Posted by: BarbadoSlim at December 4, 2008 12:52 PM

Line up ladies, I've got A LOT of Bacardi Mix and plenty of time...

Posted by: BarbadoSlim at December 4, 2008 12:55 PM

Maybe we should have the ladies run an obstacle course, starting out with a Donkey Punch, followed by a Chili Dog, then onward to the Strawberry Shortcake, and finally ending up with a Hawaiian Fruit Punch. We can sell tickets.

Posted by: Pookie at December 4, 2008 1:04 PM

If you enjoy a nice Chili Dog, I'm sure you'll go wild for an Alabama Hot Pocket.


Just make sure you've got a solid relationship with your girly-parts doctor.

Posted by: Bequafina at December 4, 2008 1:06 PM

His dad owns a dealership, dylanj. He may have forgotten to mention it...

Posted by: Sarina at December 4, 2008 1:13 PM

don't forget theJersey Meathook and the Grumpy Asner, classics!

Posted by: Soylent Green is Sheeple at December 4, 2008 1:35 PM

Was that a chainsaw making an appearance late in the trailer? What kind of yacht has a chainsaw on it? All of a sudden this has some potential, but they missed out on a lot - if someone dies at sea, use the chainsaw to make chum then hit up a shark habitat - body gone, problem solved! Mindless fun, I'll probably read the spoiler then maybe download it for when ladyhelmet's on night shift sometime..

Posted by: lordhelmet at December 4, 2008 2:10 PM

Looked.

ew

Why don't I listen to myself?

Posted by: bucdaddy at December 4, 2008 2:53 PM

Hawaiian Fruit Punch is a new one for me, and since it's grossing out the Pajiba dudes, I will not satiate my curiousity.

Posted by: grinder at December 4, 2008 3:49 PM

Why do I *ALWAYS* have to look.

ARGH.

Posted by: figgy at December 4, 2008 6:26 PM

Well, I looked at Urban Dictionary's definition of Fruit Punch and I don't even understand what was happening there, let alone where the ooky thrill would be.

Guess I'm just unimaginative.

Posted by: Jay at December 4, 2008 6:44 PM

A Hawaiian Fruit Punch is like a Strawberry Shortcake multiplied. And you must have trained medical personnel standing by. I'm sorry Jay I wish I could tell you exactly what it is, but if I did I would get banned from pajiba.

Posted by: Pookie at December 4, 2008 8:19 PM

But since you are ok with me Jay, I'll give you a little teaser to wet your appetite. A Hawaiian Fruit Punch will only work if the woman has a prolapsed rectum.

Posted by: Pookie at December 4, 2008 8:27 PM

Well that at least makes a little more sense.

Posted by: Jay at December 4, 2008 8:41 PM

Two questions:

Who comes up with these names? And why did I look them up?

Posted by: Kayanne at December 4, 2008 9:06 PM

Maybe it's a regional thing but you HAVE to try the Squawking Seagull. My roommate from Maine told me all about it.

Posted by: Optimus Rhyme at December 4, 2008 9:55 PM

Ah! Why do I keep looking these up?

Posted by: Kayanne at December 4, 2008 10:22 PM

Blurgh.

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Posted by: gosha03 at February 13, 2009 12:22 AM