web counter
 

Palin for Punchlines '09

By William Goss | Posted Under Trailers | Comments (24)

post_image-hugh_grant_sjp.jpg

Oh, man, did you hear about the Morgans? Word has it that Morgan Freeman and Morgan Fairchild hooked up in an Iowa truck stop bathroom over the weekend; TMZ has the pics. But that’s not who I’m here to talk about.

No, I’m afraid that my priorities are much further aligned to the fates of Hugh Grant and Sarah Jessica Parker, cast in Did You Hear About the Morgans? as a squabbling couple forced to re-kindle their relationship in the terrifically non-metropolitan likes of Wyoming, where it’s mostly sunny, with 50 percent chance of hilarity ensuing. That’s right, ladies and gents: you get all of the contrived relationship frenzy of a Failure to Launch combined with the fish-out-of-water antics of your Mickey Blue Eyes, two broad and bland rom-coms for the price of one.

Truth be told, it could be worse (read: it could be All About Steve), but everything on display in this trailer is so vigorously mediocre, like eating lukewarm tapioca off a manila envelope, and then realizing you bit into Parker’s chin mole somewhere along the way. Her offer probably read “It’s like Sex and the City, but in the country and sans sex,” followed by eight figures. I imagine that Grant got the call while removing the barrel of a Beretta from his mouth and whimpering “they like me, they really like me” over and over and over again.

Anyway, bears chase people, and as the Old Dogs trailer has proven without fail, that spells c-o-m-e-d-y. This one drops on December 18th, folks — buy your tickets now, lest you get stuck seeing Avatar instead.









Each Time You Like, Share, Tweet or Stumble a Pajiba Post, An Angel Does the Paul Rudd Dance

← Let the Right One In Book Review | Law Abiding Citizen Trailer →









Comments

First post ever! First!

Posted by: sunflowerseed at August 14, 2009 9:13 AM

Chopping wood! Milking cows! Sam Elliot's mustache!
I didn't like this when it was called For Richer or Poorer with Tim Allen either.

Posted by: branded at August 14, 2009 9:22 AM

i can't wait to NEVER see this! thanks, pajiba!

Posted by: gp at August 14, 2009 9:38 AM

Throw all the shame you want on me, but I giggled.

Posted by: buttercup at August 14, 2009 9:45 AM

I thought Hugh Grant had stopped doing movies. He hasn't been in anything for ages. Or at least I haven't seen him in anything for ages. I'm assuming he'll be playing the same character he always plays. But with more crows feet.

He's not breaking the habit of a lifetime and doing an American accent is he? Can he do an American accent?...must watch.

Two minutes later

Ah. No.

Posted by: Carrie at August 14, 2009 9:45 AM

What an original concept! City types forced to relocate to Hayseedland who find a whole new set of values that might just save their souls.
Why on earth didn't anybody think to mine the comedy and romance inherent in this plot line before?
You have to hand it to the writers for coming up with something so new and unexplored. I predict a huge hit.

Posted by: PaddyDog at August 14, 2009 9:45 AM

I would rather see a movie about that Iowa truck stop hookup. Thanks for nothing , Goss.

Posted by: ed newman at August 14, 2009 10:03 AM

eating lukewarm tapioca off a manila envelope, and then realizing you bit into Parker’s chin mole somewhere along the way

Oh. My. God. WHAT is WRONG with you!?

Posted by: Anna von Beaverplatz at August 14, 2009 10:25 AM

Somebody's gotta do it ...

*whinny*

Posted by: , (the commenter formerly known as bucdaddy) at August 14, 2009 10:55 AM

No...no one had to do that.

Also, just once I would like to see an actor get chased by a bear and end up like that guy from Grizzly Man. Because that's what really happens when bears chase you. Then maybe they could get stellan skarsgard to play a werner herzog type douche to do a documentary on it. I can see it now: Gerald Lambeau and his retarded scarf pressing a cassette tape into SJP's hands, telling her to destroy the tape! Never listen to this! You must destroy the tape!

I think that's what this world needs: Grizzly man parodies.

Posted by: Marra at August 14, 2009 11:11 AM

In The Edge Michael from Lost gets ripped apart by a Grizzly. For some reason it's a scene that's stayed with me. He does a good job being mauled.

Posted by: Carrie at August 14, 2009 11:18 AM

Were they trying to make a sarah jessica parker and horse joke at the end?

Posted by: jezzapha at August 14, 2009 11:22 AM

Did you just call Werner Herzog a douche?

Pistols at dawn, Marra. You will pay for this.

Posted by: PaddyDog at August 14, 2009 12:20 PM

Goddammit. Sam Elliott is in this, and therefore I have to see it. Ugh. Why do you hurt me like this, Sam Elliott? Why can't you just, like, do some audio books or something? Actually, wait... don't do any audio books. I don't think my gentleman friend would necessarily appreciate it when I tell him that he's not allowed to talk anymore and that we'll be listening to audio books whenever we have sex. He'd probably ask awkward questions, and I'd be forced to explain to him that he ain't got nuthin' on a 65-year-old man I've never met. Then he'd probably get all huffy and want to talk about feelings or some shit, and I'd get annoyed and probably call him a pussy, and then he won't be in the mood and he might even start to cry or some ridiculous damn thing, and then what use is he to me? Quit messin' with my sex life, Sam Elliott!

Posted by: Sarina at August 14, 2009 12:38 PM

Sarah Jessica Parker...Horses...Can't fight it much longer...

Posted by: NJ at August 14, 2009 12:46 PM

eating lukewarm tapioca off a manila envelope, and then realizing you bit into Parker’s chin mole somewhere along the way

I just threw up in my mouth a little. And I agree that Sam Elliott is too good for this. Now I want to go home and put on Tombstone.

Posted by: Jeni at August 14, 2009 1:34 PM

Hugh Grant? I might be in.

Sarah Jessica Parker? I'm out.

Posted by: Christian H. at August 14, 2009 1:54 PM

I could see Hugh Grant really wanting his wife back if she looked a bit more, you know, like Elizabeth Hurley.

Also, did you know you can sing the theme song of "Green Acres" to the tune of "Purple Haze." Just call it "Green Haze." I think there's a recording somewhere out there on the web.

Also, I find it incredibly funny that a horse is running for it's life away from SJP.

Posted by: BWeaves at August 14, 2009 2:50 PM

Awww, Hugh. I watched that all for you. And you pained me.

Although I did like the PETA line.

Posted by: SaBrina at August 14, 2009 6:46 PM

Is it just me, or is that the opening music for every "romantic" comedy trailer?

Posted by: Empress of All the Russias at August 14, 2009 9:58 PM

I love Hugh Grant. I don't care that his movies are, at best, mildly diverting, I don't care that he only plays two characters, I don't care that he's getting old and saggy and will soon have boyish-wrinkled-Paul-McCartney face, I don't care, I don't care, I don't care, I would absolutely do him in that flannel shirt.

Ow, I think I pulled something. But oh, it's that sweet catharsis burn...

Posted by: Geetch at August 14, 2009 10:47 PM

I'm not on my horse

Sarah Jessica Parker telling her friends she's off marriage.

Posted by: Sofía at August 15, 2009 4:23 AM

Hugh Grant--sigh. Ok, see, he plays Hugh Grant in every goddamned film he's in. I loved About a Boy, and would have loved it just a smidge more had someone else played his character. He wasn't horrible, but God, can he ever even affect some different mannerisms or something and PRETEND to be a different character? I think that's called acting.

It's Julia Roberts Syndrome. Just play yourself in every movie. Don't change your laugh or your expressions or how you hold yourself or ANYTHING.

Heh, I could say the same for SJP except I don't watch her in anything. No big reason, I just find her annoying enough to avoid.

And this movie--God--can you send in a few boxtops to get an Official Screenwriter's License? And then just shit out whatever formula comes to mind and sell it? Is that how it works?

No wonder I go to Blockbuster and walk out with nothing.

Posted by: Snuggiepants the Deathbringer at August 15, 2009 1:06 PM

Oh, SAM ELLIOT! I'm even disappointed in Mary Steenburgen.

Posted by: appwitch at August 19, 2009 10:17 AM