Demoted Trailer

Michael Vartan Reappears (Naked)

By Dustin Rowles | Posted Under Trailers | Comments (20)

Some of you may be wondering whatever happened to Michael Vartan? I think he was the actor that was supposed to come out big after “Alias.” But he made Monster-in-Law instead and has suffered for it, as his lower credited co-star, Bradley Cooper, is the one that has managed to climb the Hollywood ranks.

Well, it’s not exactly The Hangover, but Michael Vartan has a depraved workplace comedy coming out called Demoted, in which he co-stars with noted paycheck whore David Cross (see: Alvin and the Chipmunks) and please just give me a job Sean Astin. Vartan and Astin play goofball employees who wreak havoc on David Cross’ character, until Cross becomes their boss and demotes them to secretaries.

Demoted comes from writer Dan Callahan, who penned the hilariously awful College last year, and James B. Rogers, who directed American Pie 2. Despite that, the trailer shows a glimmer of promise, mostly because of David Cross and the last 10 seconds of the trailer, which is pure juvenility, is still pretty goddamn funny. Keep an eye out, too, for Vartan’s ass, if that floats your undies.

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Comments

Chicken pot, chicken pot, chicken pot piiiiiiiiiiie! I think I liked David Cross better pretend brain damaged.

Posted by: slower lower at May 13, 2009 7:42 PM

Damn. Can't wait to ~~illegally download~~ add this to my Netflix queue!

Posted by: Spender at May 13, 2009 7:49 PM

Oh yay. A poop joke. I will give you that it adds an element of mystery, since you have to wonder how he's managing to poop through denim cut-offs.

Posted by: SaBrina at May 13, 2009 7:53 PM

Posted by: Spender at May 13, 2009 7:49 PM

DITTO!

PS: Please do try and control yourself Rowles *shakes head*

Posted by: BarbadoSlim at May 13, 2009 8:04 PM

Huh. I thought it was Luke Perry in that photo for a sec.

Amazingly enough, the thought of Michael Vartan naked does nothing for me. SHOCKING, I know! but true. Not every naked guy works on the fig.

Posted by: figgy at May 13, 2009 8:20 PM

*sigh* David, David, David. I know that it's nearly impossible to match the awesomeness of "Mr. Show" and "Arrested Development," but really? This is all you've got? I actually forgave you for doing the chipmunks crap...a guy's gotta get paid, right? But your star is fading in my eyes. At least, if you insist on playing irritating, stereotyped characters in bad movies, please release a new stand-up album. You can still show shades of your previous, hilarious self in that arena, right? RIGHT?

Posted by: puregonzo at May 13, 2009 9:22 PM

mmmmmm Vartan alkfjdkaj;friuhg;n

Nice to see him looking like he's heard of food.

Posted by: Anna von Beaverplatz at May 13, 2009 9:38 PM

Meet sexy girls or guys in--S ee k bi. C O M

Posted by: linda shake at May 13, 2009 10:42 PM

Dear God, I'd never realized that Sean Astin is like the fucking doppelganger for my boyfriend from all through undergrad. In fact, I'm just gonna start telling people instead that I used to date that hobbit who was in "White Water Summer."

Posted by: The Pink Hulk at May 13, 2009 11:22 PM

best headline ever. I wish.

I used to figure skate to the music from Rudy. That is my Sean Astin story.

Posted by: rayliota at May 14, 2009 12:47 AM

Mmmmm... Michael Vartan. He's yummy.

Posted by: Slash at May 14, 2009 1:42 AM

I didn't see whoever's ass I was supposed to see... But whatever, when that thing ended and asked "Play Again" and actually out loud to myself said "No".

Posted by: RonnyK at May 14, 2009 3:35 AM

I love Michael Vartan. Loved him in One Hour Photo, loved him on Friends, loved him on Alias, fucking loved him in Never Been Kissed. But this? This I'll skip, it looks absolutely fucking shocking. I'll watch his new TNT show HawthORne though.

Posted by: Popcultureboy at May 14, 2009 4:07 AM

I'm with Slash.

YUM!

Posted by: Agent Scully at May 14, 2009 8:10 AM

I see Sean has put his hobbit weight back on. He's still a cutie. My mom loves him because she thought he was "so good at crying" in LOTR.

The last ten seconds are what's funny? Maybe I don't get it because I have something approaching a phobia about poo. I don't want to see it acknowledged in any way, shape or form in any media. If I could, I would make toilets retract into the wall and sanitize themselves until needed again. I would sell toilet paper in a separate area of every store, like the adult section of video stores, so I'm not reminded of poo. I would develop the technology seen in that episode of Deep Space Nine where O'Brien is given fake memories of a prison sentence and they just beam the poo straight out of your intestines. No muss, no fuss.

I don't care that the brown water is fake, it makes me want to run for the industrial-strength soap and bleach.

Posted by: DeadBessie at May 14, 2009 9:23 AM

By the by, Dusty baby, you spelled that wrong. It should be "nekkid" in this context.

Posted by: Anna von Beaverplatz at May 14, 2009 4:03 PM

Oh man slower lower, now that damn thing is going to be in my head all day. Sometimes I repeat that phrase to myself without really remembering where it came from, but now of course I remember. I miss that show sometimes.

Posted by: Snath at May 14, 2009 4:17 PM

What's really amazing is that Ron White got off his ass long enough to appear in anything, even if it IS a bit part.

Posted by: UncivilizedMike at May 14, 2009 10:30 PM

So I used to be shitballs in love with Vartan. Back in his Alias days I would've paid him to let me lick his sweat. I would've go down a cup size just for the chance to hold his hand. I was dumbfounded that Jen Garner chose Affleck over him. The man can speak fluent French and loves hockey for the love of God! But now...ehh...what happened? I have absolutely no desire to see this movie.

But I mean, I'd still fuck him.

I hope this doesn't happen to Taylor Kitsch.

Posted by: Austin asking for trouble at May 15, 2009 2:47 AM

...I'd do him at the drop of a hat. *please someone drop a hat!*

The show doesn't look too funny though. Not a big fan of physical comedy, well unless it's "Bringing up baby" because there are very few things that are funnier than Cary Grant in a frilly pink bathrobe.

Posted by: Joker at May 15, 2009 4:37 PM

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Michael Vartan Reappears (Naked)

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