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Dear Filmmakers: There's More to High School Than Losing Your Virginity. Probably.

By Dustin Rowles | Trailers | October 3, 2012 | Comments ()


the-first-time-trailer1-jon-kasdan.jpeg

The First Time is the second film from Jon Kasdan (In the Land of Women), although he's also written for "Freaks and Geeks" and "Dawson's Creek" and therefore knows how to write teens. Allegedly. That "first time" in the title, of course, refers to sex because, apparently, one's entire high-school experience is defined by losing one's virginity, never mind all the other wonderful and memorable experiences from high school like ... like ... well, I'm sure other people had really wonderful memories from those years, or at leaest better memories than chipping your girlfriend's tooth, getting caught by your girlfriend's mother in a movie theater on the receiving end of your first hummer, or having wildly awkward first-time sex and nose-bleeding all over your girlfriend. (Have I written about the time I ripped my girlfriend's tongue out of its socket, tore her Styloglossus muscle, and she ran home crying? No? Good. I'll just keep that story to myself).

And this is what teens in movies are so impatient about? Trust me, kids: The mystery surrounding sex is a lot more interesting than your first sexual experience.

Anyway, here's the trailer, which is all Can't Hardly Wait meets Sundance.



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Comments Are Welcome, Jerks Will Be Banned


  • Strand

    I never had a high school girlfriend. I was bookish and had way too many extra-curriculars (swimming, tennis, cadets, chess). Oh, and I was heterosexual in an all-boys' school. My teenage libido was shot to shit out of sensory deprivation and divided focus. I've actually gotten hornier over the years.

    I entered college as a gangly awkward kid, was chewed up by man-eaters and I'm still more comfortable around blokes. I've had several major partners in my life, but do I regret not having a high school romance? Sure. Despite how cringe-worthy those memories might be, I don't have any funny, cute or awkward stories to tell like Dustin and I wish I did.

  • Yocean

    I did not lose virginity in high school nor did I really have a girlfriend. I say that because I had dated an older woman, 21 actually, when I was 17 but I was so innocent we just held hands and never even kissed. But I did lose virginity later when i was 21 with someone much older, but had body of 23, and it was super awesome. We remained sex friends for three months, so I win my stupid high school life! And no, I do still not feel inferior for not having any of this puppy love, high-school girlfriend stuff! I said, I don't!

  • ruby

    Actually, this movie was cute and not all about the sex.

  • Jezzer

    My first time was awesome. Way better than the mystery surrounding it, you blasé motherfuckers. :P

  • googergieger

    My entire High School experience was trying not to get my ass kicked for being gay and not trying to off myself in general.

    .....

    *Ellen dances to lighten the mood*

  • Long_Pig_Tailor

    Hey Dustin, are you sure you don't just have some latent S&M tendencies you can't admit to? Because that could all be stuff certain people like in certain situations. Except maybe the tongue thing. You can't say the safe word when your tongue's incapacitated.

  • Maguita NYC

    That would be more on the Hannibal-Lecterism of your BDSM tolerance scale...

  • Long_Pig_Tailor

    Hey, I don't judge. So long as everybody gets out with their parts unconsumed by the other party, it's whatever floats their boat.

  • Sara_Tonin00

    Yawn. I didn't care at all about losing my virginity in high school. And I resented all the movies that made it seem so important. It just wasn't on my radar.

    I did have a pretty good time in high school. School plays, band trips, quiz bowl...(hmm, I think just demonstrated WHY I didn't lose my virginity at the same time as listing all the ample opportunities I had to do so)

  • Rooks

    It's Stiles.
    The one reason to watch MTV's Teen Wolf.
    In a leading role, where he belonged all along.
    I don't care if this movie sucks. I'm going to watch it.

    (Also: What Captain_Tuttle said.)

  • Long_Pig_Tailor

    I will continue watching Teen Wolf solely in the hopes that they're planning to turn Stiles into that universe's version of a wizard. They've definitely implied they might.

  • kilmo

    That sounds awesome. I gotta get caught up on Season 2.

    Agreed. Dylan O'Brien (Stiles) rocks!

  • Long_Pig_Tailor

    I can't figure out why every other guy in the cast, they seemed to filch from an Abercrombie shoot, but Stiles they kinda actually tried to find someone who could act well.

  • Captain_Tuttle

    (Have I written about the time I ripped my girlfriend’s tongue out of its socket, tore her Styloglossus muscle, and she ran home crying? No? Good. I’ll just keep that story to myself).

    Dude, you don't just tease us with that and run away.

  • John G.

    High School movies seem to have never escaped the ancient dichotomies of Jocks versus Nerds. Nerds are desperate to lose their virginity, and Jocks beat them up.

    This wasn't true in my high school or any of my friends' high schools. It was probably never true, and the lazy screenwriters who keep writing this crap need to stop. It's the drama club kids who fuck more than anyone in high school. Everyone knows that.

  • E-Money

    Nah dude. Band kids. The drama kids fucked plenty but not like those band kids. They put us to shame with their sordid love triangles.

  • TherecanbeonlyoneAdmin

    While it certainly wasn't a goal of mine whilst attending high school, I would have to say that the sexual awakenings of D was probably the only fondly remembered activity that the fucking wasteland of grades 9-12 provided.

  • KatSings

    The funny thing to me is, I know a lot of people who didn't lose their virginity in high school, and never really cared one way or the other about it. Myself included. And for most of the people I knew in high school who were having sex, it was only a big deal if someone got pregnant or diseased, or if there was a huge cheating scandal. The virginity factor? Pretty much a non-issue. I'm not sure why it's still such a cultural touchstone for high school centered films.

  • Yup, I was pretty content, virginity or no. Made it more fun watching everyone else run around like retarded chickens trying to get laid. In the meanwhile I could sit back with a cigarette, a nice short glass of Johnnie Walker and a crack pipe and laugh at everyone's meaningless addiction.

  • It's the drama club kids who fuck more than anyone in high school. Everyone knows that. WWW.GetPositionBetweenMilliona...

  • Tom

    I assume it's because it gives the characters a goal so that the plot has somewhere to end up. It's a very easy and simple goal so it usually doesn't get you anywhere profound, but it gives the characters something to do for 90 minutes

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