I don’t know that I’d call him my favorite comedic actor, exactly, but when he’s on, there’s nobody I’d rather watch on the big screen than Vince Vaughn. Give me 105 minutes of that rat-tat-tat-tat patter patter, and I’m a happy fucking man. I’m sick to goddamn death of nearly every line in Swingers, but I still get a huge kick out of Vince Vaughn delivering those lines. Same for Wedding Crashers.
Unfortunately, Vaughn very rarely gets material that suits his talents, and his last two films, Four Christmases and Fred Claus made me want to put my head in a wastebasket and run it repeatedly into a fire hydrant. Vaughn’s shtick only works on an R-rated level. Putting him in a family comedy is like putting an elephant in a tank full of Branch’s circus peanuts. That shit just gets caught in his trunk.
I’d like to hope that Couples Retreat is the kind of movie suited to Vaughn, especially given the ensemble involved: Jason Bateman, Jon Favreau, Kristen Bell, Ken Jeoung, Jean Reno, and Kristen Davis. But dear God no, it’s not. It’s lame-ass gendered humor delivered with all the zing of Miracle Whip left out in the sun. At least judging by the trailer, which is supposed to have all the best parts. God help this film, and God help Vince Vaughn’s career.
Vince Vaughn needs to break out of these grating adolescent man-child roles and do something seriously dramatic and laudable.
He proved he could play a relatively normal guy in 'Into The Wild', so now let's see something touching and/or inspiring.
Posted by: Poultice at July 1, 2009 10:43 AM
This is going to so funny.
Like Wild Hogs funny.
I simply cannot wait.
In the meantime, I will huff paint.
Posted by: badalamenti at July 1, 2009 10:49 AM
It may be too late for Vaughn but I believe Jason Bateman's career might benefit from a few novenas. I'm glad to see him working but uhhhh can you squeeze a little quality in there J?
Posted by: JenVegas at July 1, 2009 11:03 AM
Now is Vince Vaughn actually retarded or does he just play one on TV?
I don't think it's considered acting if you're actually missing the parts of your brain that differentiate paste from mayonaise. He should wear a helmet so he doesn't hurt himself.
By the way, I hate Vince Vaughn.
Posted by: annoyingmouse at July 1, 2009 11:09 AM
It may be the hour of sleep I've gotten over the last three days or the dangerous amounts of vicodin flowing through my system, but I can't stop giggling at Jason Bateman with Fabio's crotch in his face. I'm watching that thing again.
oop, yeah its the vicodin, I'm going to go get my stomach pumped, peace out girlscouts.
I have said it before and I will say it again: Mayonnaise is the Devil's semen.
Posted by: Tracer Bullet at July 1, 2009 11:17 AM
Can we not go through this again?
Now, pardon me, but do you have any Grey Poupon?
Posted by: , (the commenter formerly known as bucdaddy) at July 1, 2009 11:41 AM
Gracious, gentlemen, whatever do you mix into your deviled eggs?
I have nothing for the trailer. I can't figure out if I liked parts of it, or if other parts were so godawful that I experienced sympathy for the not-quite-as-godawful parts.
Posted by: Kolby at July 1, 2009 11:41 AM
Please, Mayonnaise is not the devil's anything.
That's just more lies from Vatican II.
Posted by: Angus at July 1, 2009 11:43 AM
Are we going to have a Condiment Crusade again? It's only far to warn everyone that the followers of Miracle Whip do not fear death. They believe that the makings of 72 sandwiches await them in heaven.
Posted by: branded at July 1, 2009 11:51 AM
all i have to say is "A sandwich isn't a
sandwich without out the Tangy zip of
Miracle Whip"! Now with more Zip!
Posted by: blacksred at July 1, 2009 11:58 AM
I actually didn't think it looked that bad.
Yes, yes I am sober.
Posted by: Skitz at July 1, 2009 12:00 PM
I believe we all know where I stand on the Miracle Whip (plegh) v. mayonnaise (Aw, Hellman's) debate, so I won't further that. More.
However, I must correct you, Fearless Leader: As far as I know, there is no manufacturer called Branch's who makes circus peanuts. There is, however, one called Brach's. I mention this only as an expert on all things teeth-rottingly sugary.
As for Vince Vaughan, I have recently been watching Anchorman a lot, largely due to this place, and I like that level of Vaughan. He's there, but he's not overdone, and he's hilarious.
Also, I *heart* Jean Reno to death. To. Death. And Jason Bateman. So, probably, I'll be seeing this at some point, though it'll likely be on DVD. Therefore, I hope it's better than it sounds.
THis makes a little part of my heart very sad. I like all those people. But that looks like it blows.
Posted by: wsapnin at July 1, 2009 12:43 PM
And that would be Brach's (sans 'n') Circus Peanuts.
Posted by: Rykker at July 1, 2009 1:00 PM
Ewps. AvB was way ahead of me on that one.
There needs to be an "Edit" button. Or even a
"NONONOWAIT!! DON'T--WAIT!! NO! AARGH!!" button might be handier, for when you notice a mistake right as you release your click on the "submit" button.
Posted by: Rykker at July 1, 2009 1:04 PM
I think it does not look bad. I will probably see it.
Posted by: kerimcan at July 1, 2009 1:07 PM
Vince Vaughn is the acting world's Miracle Whip: a disgusting substitute only your grandparents love.
Clerks 2 was fucking hilarious ... when adding Vicodin.
Hangover could have used some motherfucking Vicodin.
Posted by: bluesilver at July 1, 2009 3:58 PM
I generally don't take gross white stuff on my sandwiches/burgers, but when I do it's all about pure Mayo. HOWEVER. I eat WAY to much pasta salad, and Miracle Whip blows Mayo out of the water there. Sorry, it just DOES. So it depends on the circumstance...like how Coca Cola is better than Pepsi, but Diet Pepsi is way better than Diet Coke.
As for Vince Vaughan, he was in Mr. Show for 8 seconds and in the commentary they raved about what an awesome guy he is. His good stuff makes me laugh out loud, and it's pretty easy to assume what his bad stuff is without subjecting yourself to it. All this leaves me pretty pro-VV.
Posted by: Barabajagalla at July 2, 2009 12:31 AM
How could you leave out that it's directed by Ralphie Parker?!?! You mundane noodle!
Miracle Whip doesn't have zing, it has zip.
So they can rhyme it, obviously.