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Como Se Dice "Blood and Titties"?

By Adam Lyon | Posted Under Trailers | Comments (27)

Trejo-dope-600x358.jpg

Some things on the site get a little over-exposed. I know we’ve posted Machete trailers before. And some posters. And production details. I wouldn’t bother with another trailer unless it was something special.

Wait a minute.

A hard-R Machete trailer showing previously unknown amounts of badass Trejo?

YES WANT NOW

Quick note — This is extremely Not Safe For Work. Unless your coworkers are OK with seeing your pants rent asunder by an awesomeness-induced boner.


BAM! BOOOOOM! BOOB! Check it out, y’all. He just rappelled down a building with the large intestine of a man! And that sharp knifey thing on a chain?! Day-um!

And I bet De Niro is going to CRUSH this. He’ll probably have a small part that lets him do something a little more off the wall. Not exactly like Stardust, but hey, a guy can dream.

And I believe in Steven Seagal. Even after that weird business about him buying a Mail Order Bride or something like that. Look at him wield those bigass knives. He has a very unique brand of cool that will work for his.

And that Luchadore got MESSED UP! Get it, Jessica Alba. Win back a place in my heart.

I expect to hear a lot of adjectives for “awesome” in the comment section.

(via Comingsoon)







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Comments

My bowels just released, explosively.

Posted by: BarbadoSlim at July 23, 2010 6:07 PM

This looks much better than I thought it would. Hopefully more like Desperado 3( I don't remember the title) and less like Planet Death (or whatever that Grindhouse flick was called).

Posted by: TylerDFC at July 23, 2010 6:16 PM

"Sangre y Tetas", if you really want to know. Though "Sangre y Senos" sounds classier!

Posted by: figgy at July 23, 2010 6:23 PM

Breathe, M, breathe.

Um, wow.

In addition to all the heavy hitters of awesome already noted, let's not forget Jeff Fahey and Cheech.

Posted by: MM at July 23, 2010 6:35 PM

I can't wait to like Jessica Alba again.

Posted by: (Not so)Blonde Savant at July 23, 2010 6:41 PM

Guh. Whatever.

Posted by: whatBENwatches at July 23, 2010 6:46 PM

"I absolve you of all your sins, now get the fuck out."

I'd consider Catholicism (the cafeteria kind, of course) if it had priests like this.

Posted by: Slash at July 23, 2010 7:01 PM

about 10 seconds into the trailer i realized that i was watching it with my jaw hanging open because i was so blown away by the awesomeness.

i think my jaw is still hanging open. holy CRAP danny trejo is awesome.

Posted by: taye biggs at July 23, 2010 7:21 PM

The the average length of the human intestine is equal to the length of three football fields.

True Story.

Posted by: BarbadoSlim at July 23, 2010 7:35 PM

I am suddenly struck the the realization that I would consider going gay for Michelle Rodriguez. Homina-homina.

The rest of the trailer is awesome too.

awesome awesome...hurrrr...

Posted by: Jerce at July 23, 2010 7:35 PM

I giggled my cynical old ass off all the way through that! Schweet...

Now I know what movie I'm seeing on my B-Day. As D. Carlson put it, "It pleases me when a scheme starts to gel".

Posted by: Groundloop at July 23, 2010 7:55 PM

day-um...blood, guts, funny mexicans...it's gonna kill !! funny though...where was Lohan in the trailers ? I hope they chopped her scenes...unless she's naked...then by all means, leave them in

Posted by: The H's at July 23, 2010 8:08 PM

Busiest people in Hollywood these days: foley effects recorder/editors. The sounds alone from this trailer could cause a film-induced geekasm.

Posted by: Uriah Creep at July 23, 2010 10:27 PM

The normal trailer for this was easily the best part of "Predators."

I can't want to get home from work. I'm even gonna skip the bar.

Posted by: , at July 23, 2010 10:38 PM

Wish he'd done this instead of Planet Terr... scratch that, I wish he'd chained Quentin up in his basement in a gimp mask for six months while he made this AND Planet Terror and nixed Deathproof completely. That would have been a kick-ass and double feature

Posted by: Artless Bastard at July 23, 2010 11:02 PM

What the -- "Mah-cheh-tee?" Sounds like confeti.

It's MAH-CHE-TEH, you damn gringos!

Posted by: Sofía at July 23, 2010 11:03 PM

"Sangre y Tetas", if you really want to know. Though "Sangre y Senos" sounds classier!

Danny Trejo and Richard Rodriguez are Chicano, and going by the trailer, "Machete" appears to be set in Texas or somewhere in the Southwest. So we're talking Mexican/Chicano/Borderlands slang, and that should be "Sangre y Chichis."

I was amused to see that La Lohan appears in this trailer for all of a microsecond. At least, a nun firing a shotgun appears for a microsecond; maybe it's a stunt double. Hell, at least this trailer insinuates that she has a part in this film (apart from the credits in the final seconds).

Posted by: PDamian at July 23, 2010 11:04 PM

You guys you guys you guys!

Viscerappelling

Posted by: Jim at July 24, 2010 8:17 AM

Ha, that's fantastic, Jim! If only there were a way to work that word into everyday conversation....

Posted by: meaux at July 24, 2010 9:49 AM

Fuckfuckfuckdicketyfuck, how do I get this age verification fuckuppedness thing to work? I click and click and nothing happens. I'm losing consciousness here, need a testosterone injection STAT!

Posted by: , at July 24, 2010 10:18 AM

Found it elsewhere.

And ... AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH, that's better.

Posted by: , at July 24, 2010 10:25 AM

OMG THE LAWNMOWER MAN IS IN THIS?!?!?!?!?!

I did not know that. I also did not know that I was UTTERLY DESPERATE to see this movie- nay, this FILM.

/pants = rent

Posted by: Anna von Beaverdouche at July 24, 2010 11:55 AM

that would be the small intestine. its not really all as long as people like to say that it is, but it is larger than the colon (the large intestine, which is only five or six feet, but much wider in diameter). i have pictures of mine if anyone needs reference.

Posted by: yungriimobliatri at July 24, 2010 12:09 PM

Posted by: yungriimobliatri at July 24, 2010 12:09 PM

WRONG! You need to stop spreading lies. In fact, the large intestine is only slightly shorter than the small intestine (being only TWO football fields in length)but has enough elasticity to stop an F-14 upon landing. I'm guessing Machete used a large intestine here.

Posted by: BarbadoSlim at July 24, 2010 12:26 PM

i want to swing down a building on someones intestine. In!

Posted by: idleprimate at July 24, 2010 2:04 PM

introducing Don Johnson?
can somebody please explain this to me?

Posted by: courtney at July 25, 2010 11:51 PM

Its been so long since Don has been in a film, I'm guessing the core audience wasn't born yet when he last made an appearance. I think that was in good buddy Cheech's classic 'Tin Cup,' which came out in 1996.

Aw shit. I was totally kidding, but I just checked IMDB and he really hasn't been in shit since 'Tin Cup.'

Good trailer. Needs more titties.

Just sayin...

Posted by: EJ at July 26, 2010 2:31 AM


















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