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Colombiana Trailer: Zoe Saldana Will Bloody Your G*ddamn Nose and You Will Say THANK YOU

By Dustin Rowles | Posted Under Trailers | Comments (27)

Thumbnail image for colombiana3.jpg

Dude. Dude! Duuuuude! You have to check out the trailer for the Luc Besson scripted, Olivier Megaton directed Colombiana, something akin to the unofficial sequel to The Professional where Natalie Portman grows into the slammin’ fantastic body of Zoe Saldana and beats the holy living snot out of the people who murdered her parents. And then pulverizes their corpses. The last 27 seconds of the trailer may just puncture your lungs. I don’t know how the movie could possibly live up to the trailer, but who cares? I’m just going to put on a helmet and watch this on repeat.


I give it three fist pumps.









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Comments

She kinda reminds me of a young Jada Pinkett Smith.

Posted by: Phat girl at May 5, 2011 5:15 PM

Was that Vaughn?

Also, I'll see your three fist pumps and raise you another.

Posted by: rob at May 5, 2011 5:19 PM

(didn't watch the trailer, but...)

Isn't this the unofficial sequel to The Losers, wherein Zoe Saldana kicked the beefy, bo-hunky, grizzled, sexy Jeffrey Dean Morgan's ass six ways to Sunday?

Posted by: MM at May 5, 2011 5:21 PM

Luc Besson? Yes!

Olivier Megaton? Didn't he do Transporter 3? That movie was terrible.

But still... it looks good. Fingers crossed.

Posted by: Wintermute at May 5, 2011 5:27 PM

I like everything except Vartan, that guy is like a vacuum where charisma should be.

I didn't mind him in Rogue for some reason, but in a movie like this? I can already see him sucking the life outta every scene he's in.

Posted by: MurderBot at May 5, 2011 5:37 PM

I really really want to take Zoe to Golden Coral. Everyday for about 6 months.

Posted by: Sean at May 5, 2011 5:46 PM

That was just about the worst trailer I've ever seen. I'm reserving judgement on the movie, though.

Posted by: Ben at May 5, 2011 6:04 PM

My reaction: that's right girl! BEAT THAT MUTHA-F*CKIN' AZZ!! SHIT!

Posted by: Rest In Peace at May 5, 2011 6:45 PM

She does need to eat some sammiches, but the trailer is cool. I'll wait for first reviews then decide if it's worth my time. I do like a good revenge-driven, ass-kicking movie.

Posted by: Slash at May 5, 2011 7:20 PM

Besson, girls with guns, Vartan and Chicago? Mmmmmm.

Posted by: kiyo-chan at May 5, 2011 7:45 PM

When I look at that header pic, I half expect to see Neo, Trinity and Cypher crawling out behind her.

Posted by: bleujayone at May 5, 2011 7:46 PM

Does nothing for me.

Posted by: Gavin S. at May 5, 2011 7:56 PM

Is it wrong of me to wish it was Natalie Portman so that it could be a sequel?

Posted by: DeistBrawler at May 5, 2011 9:04 PM

i'm sori but i'm sick of this new trend of anorexic action heroes dat started wit the malnourished Jolie in SALT. (i still wonder to this day how dat wud have turned out wit Cruise)

also, can't stand zoe saldana.


Posted by: haplo at May 5, 2011 10:12 PM

Zoe Saldana IS Batman.

Posted by: Meander at May 5, 2011 11:02 PM

Nah, Kevin Conroy is Batman, but Saldana would make an excellent Batgirl.

And, even though this looks pretty radass, I'm with DeistBrawler. Where, oh where, has Natalie gone?

Posted by: RobP at May 6, 2011 12:13 AM

How's she carrying that heavy gun??

That being said, I love female kicking ass movies. And I love Vaughn. He is decidedly NOT a charisma vacuum.

Posted by: denesteak at May 6, 2011 12:54 AM

She's got guns. He-bitches love guns.

Posted by: admin at May 6, 2011 10:17 AM

TheMaskedEmu and I have a collection of movies that involve really fun action sequences but are generally lacking otherwise (other than the occasional eye candy). I feel that this may join that shelf.

Posted by: KatSings at May 6, 2011 10:24 AM

Woaaaah.

I don't even like these types of movies and I'd totally see it.

Posted by: grace b at May 6, 2011 10:34 AM

Zoe running around in her underwear shooting guns - again! I think I'll wait for the DVD. I'm sure it won't be a long wait.

Posted by: RJ at May 6, 2011 10:55 AM

Jordi Molla is badass. He's got permanent coke eyes

Posted by: sailboat at May 6, 2011 8:23 PM

Well, I will definitely be seeing this. If only to support Zoe Saldana aka: the only black actress currently working in Hollywood. I know that's an overstatement, but seriously there are about 3 "name" black actresses consistently getting work outside of Tyler Perry movies (Halle Berry and Paula Patton are the other two) and Zoe is one of them. So, I'll spend my $10 to make sure she keeps working.

Posted by: Tracey at May 6, 2011 11:12 PM

HELLZ YEAH!!!!!!

Taken = Awesome. Leon = Super Awesome. I even like Kiss of the Dragon. Even when Besson is bad, he entertains me (we'll forget District 13: Ultimatum exists). I love everything that this movie references/draws on/resembles.

I love me some emotionally damaged assassins.

I'm loving all the brown people I'm seeing in the trailer.

Fact: I will love this movie.

Posted by: llaurus at May 7, 2011 1:02 AM

I saw a preview for this flick last night before Thor. I was like, "Hey, it's Thandie Newton." Then at least 3 times during the preview some man kept saying, "Never forget where you came from." In the pause between previews, I chirped, "Where did I come from? I forgot!"

Clicking play, I see it is the same one.

Posted by: Razorburn at May 7, 2011 10:19 AM

Haven't had time to read everything yet, but so far i am loving it

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Posted by: Gregory Despain at June 29, 2011 8:14 PM