Number nine on our list of the ten most anticipated anti-blockbusters this summer was a movie called Cold Souls, from first-time director Sophia Barthes. In it, Paul Giamatti plays Paul Giamatti, who is so emotionally weighed down that he decides to try something called “Soul Storage,” which provides relief from man’s existential burden through the extraction (and cold storage) of the soul.
Unfortunately, things go awry, the Soul Storage facility loses Giamatti’s soul, it gets stolen by soul traffickers, and he’s forced to rent someone else’s soul. Damn the luck.
Essentially, it’s the most Charlie Kaufmanesque movie ever not written by Charlie Kaufman, and I bet he’s hating himself for not thinking of it first.
That reminds me to flip open the newspaper and see what just arrived at my theaters:
Crap
Crap
Crap II: Electric Boogaloo
Crap
Seen it
Crap
Crap
YAY! "The Brothers Bloom"!
Posted by: , (the commenter formerly known as bucdaddy) at June 19, 2009 10:53 AM
I think we finally have an explanation for Dick Cheney.
Posted by: ed newman at June 19, 2009 10:56 AM
OK, get me and that movie in a theater now.
p.s. Emily Watson, I adore you.
Posted by: Cindy at June 19, 2009 11:06 AM
I wasn't going to watch this trailer (apathetic today; need week to be over), but then I read Cindy's comment so I had to watch it.
Then I was confused, read the comment again, and realized I thought it had said Emma Watson.
I am wavering between the shame of getting excited for Hermione, and the disappointment that it is actually Emily Watson. She's still great, don't get me wrong, but I don't want her to wear a school uniform and perform magic with my wand.
Wow, I . . . want to see this. It looks absurd and completely hilarious.
And I'm with you, Bessie. I laughed really hard at the child as it teetered by in tears. No wonder I was a crap nanny.
...was that Lauren Ambrose putting him in the tube? Weird...
Anywho, I'll be giving this one a miss. I can't stand Paul Giamatti and his sad-sack schtick. I can't stand moany existentialism, and people who are so busy wondering what life is about that they don't bother living it. I spent Sideways alternating between wanting to claw my own face off and wanting to claw Giammatti's face off and wanting to kick THC in the crotch. I can't see this film inducing any feeling in me other than "bored, simmering rage".
Posted by: Shay at June 19, 2009 2:03 PM
being paul giamatti
Posted by: gp at June 19, 2009 2:05 PM
@ Shay, I was too bored by Sideways to be that enraged about it.... I did kind of enjoy Giammatti in ... well, I can't say, lest it earn me a permanent Pajibanishment. But he was pretty good in something.
AvB, the only real movie that we would all hate on here with Giamatti in it (besides that Frankie Muniz one) would be Lady in the Water. If that's the one you're talking about, count me in too, I actually liked that movie.
Well, Snath, it seems we needn't have worried... Looks like management will have more pressing concerns on their hands with popejenn's admission up there.
*phew* we're safe... for now.
(P.S. I really did like Lady in the Water. I thought it was lovely and had a fun spirit. Plus, it was for his kids, and I think that's sweet.)
AvonB, it was him stealing money from his mother that made me angry. Every time he whined or moaned for the rest of the movie, I kept flashing back to the fact that he was taking that trip not just on money that was stolen, not just on money that was stolen from an elderly woman, but on money stolen from his elderly mother, and yet he still couldn't stop whining. Gah!
And my guess for the mystery Giamatti movie is "Big Momma's House". I'm not sure how you would end up watching it, but I could (without having seen the movie) see him being the one good thing about it.
Posted by: Shay at June 20, 2009 12:03 PM
*sneaks through pajibanishment*
I'm sorrrrryyyyyyy! I can't help my terrible taste in movies!
...I also liked Lady in the Water...
Ok, fine. Ban me. That's cool. Whatever. I can totally find plenty of other bitchy websites. *sniff sniff*
*crying maple syrup tears*
Posted by: popejenn at June 20, 2009 4:36 PM
C'mon, AvB! Teeelllll ussssss!!!
We can whine with the best of them.
...teeeellllllll uuuussssssssss!!!!
Posted by: popejenn at June 20, 2009 4:39 PM
This one goes on my "Four Dollar Films List".
Those would be movies that I really want to see and don't mind spending four bucks and a couple of hours in the crappy-yet-conveniently-nearby multiplex on.
Hey, I like Giamatti just fine!
Shay, what the...?! I do not even remember that plot point about Sideways. I may have blocked it out, or possibly fallen asleep from the boredom. And, um, Giammatti was in Big Momma's House? Seriously? You are correct in your guess that I never saw that one.
Oh, and sorry! I was actually referring to Lady in the Water (hence my parenthetical P.S.). I had no idea anyone liked it but me...
Wait, popejenn has maple syrup tears? Well, now, popejenn, don't worry there, no banishment for you; perhaps just a gentle chiding to see a real classic movie (plus then we can argue about the alleged "empowerment" of a female character who wears the exact same uniform as her male counterparts OH EXCEPT FOR THAT CORSET RIBBON DOWN THE BACK and that whole fight against the alien in her underpants and the fact that she's the classic "final female", damage and all EMPOWERED MY ASS). So come here and let me lick dry those tears of yours!
Why in hell do I not live in Canada again? There's gay strippers, and maple syrup tears, and an admin...
Viewed this one at the Seattle International Film Festival. Giamatti is the best and, it might be said, only reason the film works at all. Review here.
AvB, admittedly, admin (and his sweet ass) is an extra bonus...kind of like the raspberry jam-like topping and whip cream on the maple syrup covered pancakes.
I will watch Alien one day. Hell, I even own it on dvd...!
But it is like waiting to see Hotel Rwanda. I need the exact right mood to watch it. For Alien it has to be that retro Fuck-Yeah! mood. Do you know what I mean?
For Hotel Rwanda, I was waiting for a really shitty day where things couldn't possibly get worse, but then I made it worse by watching it.
Posted by: popejenn at June 21, 2009 4:51 AM
Ahhh I see. Yes, I know EXACTLY what you mean... I own a number of movies on DVD, I'm sure a couple for years, that I still haven't watched for that very reason.
Yes. Yes please.