web
counter
 

A Symphony of Bad Assitude

By Dustin Rowles | Posted Under Trailers | Comments (22)



00453924_.jpg

Sylvester Stallone’s Cliffhanger, which is pitiably getting the reboot treatment by Neal Moritz (Fast & Furious), was actually one of those under appreciated action films back in 1993, at least by this summer’s standards. Renny Harlin may be a complete hack, but occasionally he wraps just the right amount of explosives, action, and camp around his paper-thin plotlines to get you amiably through two hours inside a movie theater. In fact, Cliffhanger was a fun, often suspenseful movie that actually managed to give you nearly three hours of ridiculous entertainment, and it was zippy enough that you never looked down at your watch.

But, perhaps, the best thing about Cliffhanger was its trailer, which gave you just what you needed to ensure your visit to the theater: Beautiful scenery that John Lithgow ate every bit of, bombastic classical music, a little cash, some bullets in the snow, a stroked-out shirtless Stallone, and, of course, vertigo.

It’s a damn near perfect trailer, and though the movie itself is not as good as the trailer, I’m kind of itching to see it again now.









Hong Kong Phooey Movie, But Where's Bananaman? | Friday Night Lights Casting













Comments

I miss John Lithgow and Janine Turner was wicked hot in this movie.

Posted by: admin at July 14, 2009 10:44 AM

I need to see this movie. I think it's a mark against my character that I haven't.

I've made it my goal this summer to watch a bunch of old action movies I've never seen. Last night I watched The Running Man, which had some of the worst one-liners I've ever heard. I think at one point there was just a string of scenes where Arnold said nothing but one-liners. And it had my favorite (often-misquoted) Arnold quote!

"I live to see you eat that contract...but I hope you save enough room for my fist, because I'm going to ram it into your god damn stomach and break your god damn spine!"

Posted by: Snath at July 14, 2009 10:50 AM

That picture up top is kind of freaking me out. It looks like Stallone has some freakishly stunted baby legs.

"No wonder you're falling over while trying to cross, Mr. Stallone! Your small and twisted fetus-feet can't navigate the dangerous swaying of this rope and plank bridge!"

Posted by: Snath at July 14, 2009 10:56 AM

"Here's your Sub-Zero! Now: plain Zero!"

"What happened to Buzz-Saw?
He had to split."

"Hello, cutie pie. One of us is in deeeep trouble."

Clearly, the best line from that movie comes from the finest actor in the film, Sven-Ole Thorsen:

"I gots to score some steroids."
(roughly translated from semi-english)

Posted by: Sean at July 14, 2009 10:57 AM

By semi-english, I (of course) mean: Svenglish.

(I can not fucking believe I didn't think of that two minutes sooner.)

Posted by: Sean at July 14, 2009 11:00 AM

I have no idea who Sven-Ole Thorsen was until I looked him up. Now I know him from everywhere!

Posted by: Snath at July 14, 2009 11:02 AM

Well, jeez, I haven't seen this either, but not for any good reason. Does anyone also recommened "Tango and Cash" though?

Posted by: Jay at July 14, 2009 11:05 AM

Sly always could get in a few good ones himself.

(While burning money)
"It costs a fortune to heat this place."

"Remember, shithead! Keep your arms and legs in the vehicle at all times!"

Posted by: branded at July 14, 2009 11:06 AM

Jay, you absolutely can't go wrong with Tango & Cash. Kurt Russell and Sylvester Stallone? Why would you even have to ask if it's worth it?

Posted by: Snath at July 14, 2009 11:11 AM

Oh, Jay, I loves me soem Yango & Cash. Watch it and soon.

Posted by: admin at July 14, 2009 11:11 AM

Both movies are playable on Netflix! My night is made!

Posted by: Jay at July 14, 2009 11:15 AM

My friend recommended me a very good comunity
~~~~ Ageromance.com ~~~~-
People from all over the world gather together.
Go and have a try, you may find your love or friendship there.

Posted by: satokofan at July 14, 2009 11:22 AM

I love how they had to put "STALLONE" above the movie title at the end, as if you couldn't tell who's movie it was from the trailer.

Posted by: Kolby at July 14, 2009 11:26 AM

1993. damn. i feel old.

@ snath: you did enjoy the running man tho, right?!
(it's one of my favorite arnie movies-just sodeliciously, ridiculously, hilariously awesome.)

Posted by: gem at July 14, 2009 11:57 AM


Cliffhanger
The Long Kiss Goodnight
Deep Blue Sea

Renny Harlin a hack? Who else could have squeezed so much awesome into 6 hours. No one I say!

Posted by: ed newman at July 14, 2009 11:59 AM

You can rest assured that I loved it, gem.

Posted by: Snath at July 14, 2009 12:10 PM

I think the essential flaw of Cliffhanger is that no one thinks that John Lithgow could ever beat Stallone. I mean really? What is Lithgow going to do to Rocky? Over-act at him?

Posted by: Optimus Rhyme at July 14, 2009 12:28 PM

What is Lithgow going to do to Rocky? Over-act at him?

I was going to say "Put him in the corner," but then I realized that John Lithgow was in that other movie about how dancing is bad, and it was Lenny Briscoe that likes putting babies into corners.

Posted by: Snath at July 14, 2009 12:33 PM

Thank you! Seriously,thank you. My Cliffhanger & Vertical Limit double feature DVD is probably my most watched one of my collection. My boyfriend thinks I'm crazy and my mother has tried to disown me.

Now I feel slightly better about myself for liking this crappy movie.

(just a tip... both films made infinity better when viewed with a high fever and a generous dosage of NyQuil)

Posted by: Kylie at July 14, 2009 2:00 PM

It looks like Stallone has some freakishly stunted baby legs.

Stallone is only 5'7".

Posted by: mightygodking at July 14, 2009 3:26 PM

Where have you gone, R-rated, major studio action movie?

Posted by: stryker1121 at July 14, 2009 7:49 PM

If I ever see this on TV I always hang around for the ending, solely for John Lithgow's earth-shattering enunciation of the word 'shit'. I think the line is "Walker, you piece of shit!" and, oh lordy, it makes the entire movie. John Lithgow says 'shit' like Morgan Freeman says 'Motherfucker'.

Posted by: James at July 15, 2009 7:47 AM


















Viral Hits

>> Pajiba Movie Posters

>> Pop Culture's 20 Greatest Dancing GIFs

>> Mindhole Blowers

>> The 100 Greatest Insults of All Time

>> The "Other" 100 Greatest Movie Quotes

>> The 100 Greatest Movie Threats of All Time

>> The Sean Bean Death Reel

>> Chicks Dig Beards: It's Science

>> The Coolest TV Show Title Sequences

>> The Most Rewatchable Movies

>> The Most Expensive Movies of All Time