free counter with statistics Clash of the Titans Trailer | Pajiba - Scathing Reviews for Bitchy People

clash-of-the-titans-spring-2010.jpg
They Don't Make Scorpions Like That Anymore

Clash of the Titans Trailer / Steven Lloyd Wilson

Trailers | November 11, 2009 | Comments (60)

Nothing says Armistice Day like a new trailer for beautifully mindless action.

Clash of the Titans, the cheesetastic 1981 fantasy film embedded deep in brains of legions of eighties kids, and reviewed here by our own Ranylt Richildis, is getting the big budget remake treatment like everything else from our hallowed childhoods. And it looks enormously more entertaining than it has any right to be. Enormous scorpions, vile monsters, vistas of desert and sea. Liam Neeson as a golden armored Zeus, Ralph Fiennes as Hades, and a dirty sweaty Sam Worthington as Perseus.

The story is simple and presumably largely irrelevant: a war rages between the gods and only your run of the mill son-of-a-god-but-raised-by-men hero Perseus can prevent hell on Earth. The film is slated for a March release next year, the new trailer is below.



← Invisible Monsters by Chuck Palahniuk | Up in the Air 2nd Trailer →



Comments

So, "300" with big-assed scorpions.

Got it.

Posted by: Kballs at November 11, 2009 9:24 AM

a thousand times: YES!
love the musical puctuation that scorpion laid down! sweet.
also wanna lie in the sand and look up sam's dress.

Posted by: gp at November 11, 2009 9:27 AM

My problem is, that trailer looks like "Revenge Of The Fallen" or "Salvation". It's okay if it's not "Clash Of The Titans" (and it's literally not, doesn't seem to be the same story at all), but...I could use a little grandness with the cheese.

Posted by: Jay at November 11, 2009 9:28 AM

Oooooo! Pete Postlethwaite's cheekbones! I'm in.

Is is wrong that I keep thinking Liam Neeson and Ralph Fiennes are the same person?

Posted by: BWeaves at November 11, 2009 9:30 AM

FINALLYthey've realised Liam Neeson is Not Of This Earth and allowed him to reveal his true form!

Also, that looks aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaawesome

Posted by: Nadine at November 11, 2009 9:35 AM

I liked this the first time when it was called God of War.

Posted by: D-Day at November 11, 2009 9:40 AM

Another remake nobody asked for.

Posted by: BarbadoSlim at November 11, 2009 9:42 AM

That does look awesome. Did they send Guillermo del Toro a check for copying those faceless monster-things with eyeballs in their palms (at 0:43) straight out of Pan's Labyrinth?

I've heard and seen a lot about Sam Worthington but have yet to actually see him in a movie (I skipped the Terminator mess). He looks awfully heroic and cool, though.

Posted by: Jerce at November 11, 2009 9:53 AM

I especially love the way they managed to rip-off 300, Gladiator, Troy and.... Merlin? within a one minute span.

Posted by: BarbadoSlim at November 11, 2009 9:55 AM

I applaud the use of The Used's "The Bird and the Worm." Nice memories of when they didn't suck.

Posted by: Sean at November 11, 2009 9:56 AM

I don't know. It just won't stand out without Sir Lawrence Olivier, Ursula Undress (sic), The Penguin, and Harry Hamlin saying with a straight face, "But, we have a flying horse!"

Oh, and I miss Ray Harryhausen.

Posted by: BWeaves at November 11, 2009 10:30 AM

*before picture*

YAY! finally!

Gonna go watch.

Posted by: figgy at November 11, 2009 10:32 AM

*After*

LIAM NEESON! LIAM NEESON! HOLY SHIT HOW AWESOME DID HE LOOK?! LIAM NEESOOOOON!

OK this could be shittastic a la Troy, but I still totally want to watch it.

Posted by: figgy at November 11, 2009 10:34 AM

Yeah, they ripped off god of war. Cute. I guess we can just go ahead and ignore the original Clash of the Titans from 20 years ago that was based on stories thousands of years old.

Wouldn't want Kratos to think someone was ripping off his mediocre, poorly-paced game. Heavens no.

Posted by: Salad Is Murder at November 11, 2009 10:55 AM

BWeaves, I am so with you.
Plus, Where the hell is Bubo? IF there's no mechanical owl, I'm out. I don't care how hot Neeson or Fiennes look.

...


(ok, I care a little.)

Posted by: Anna von Beaverpuppet at November 11, 2009 11:05 AM

Liam Neeson is in it that's all I need to know. I'd watch Days of Our Lives if he was on that show.

Posted by: Simon at November 11, 2009 11:05 AM

I haven't seen God of War or the original Clash of the Titans so I can't compare, but this looks like awesome mindless fun.

Posted by: Eyvi at November 11, 2009 11:09 AM

I haven't seen God of War or the original Clash of the Titans so I can't compare, but this looks like awesome mindless fun.

Posted by: Eyvi at November 11, 2009 11:13 AM

Gah! I'm an amateur. That's what I get for facebooking and pajiba-ing at the same time.

Posted by: Eyvi at November 11, 2009 11:15 AM

Clash of the Titans: TITANS. WILL. CLASH.

Fucking hell, how long did it take for them to come up with that tag-line? I bet they fist-bumped afterwards and then went down to the bar for a brew and slay some bitches. BRAH.

Posted by: chenry at November 11, 2009 11:24 AM

I haven't seen God of War or the original Clash of the Titans so I can't compare

And you're not likely to see God of War, Eyvi, because it's a video game.

But a damn good one.

Posted by: Skewicide Blonde at November 11, 2009 11:30 AM

"Yeah, they ripped off god of war. Cute. I guess we can just go ahead and ignore the original Clash of the Titans from 20 years ago that was based on stories thousands of years old."

--Oh, thank you for clearing that up. Cause the trailer did such a great job of setting up the Perseus mythology. I mean, I clearly now know that Sam Worthington is playing the son of Zeus, questing to defend his honor and then making a side-track to save Andromeda while the interplay of the gods lights the background of this epic tale. It's not like I was making a point about how the rock n' roll and 12 words of dialogue say nothing about the plot and characters. Did this trailer come from the 2012 school of editing? (Although it was still a little cool)

"Wouldn't want Kratos to think someone was ripping off his mediocre, poorly-paced game. Heavens no."

-ZOMG CAN WE HAVE AN XBOX VS. PS3 FLAME WAR!! PS3 IS THE ROXXORZ, XBOX IS FOR TEH SUCK! FTW! LMAO! BBQ!

Posted by: D-Day at November 11, 2009 11:35 AM

Yesterday I walked into Best Buy to find that God of War III is available for pre-purchase and I think "AWESOME!"

Then I come home and see this trailer and I think "ASS!"

Sorry this maybe would have looked better if it didn't look derivative of 300, Troy, and so many other sword/sandals recent movies.

But it also looks like it's missing any sense of the fun and magic that came with the cheese of the original.

I'll wait for a better view BUT right now I am not convinced.

Posted by: Fredo at November 11, 2009 11:37 AM

Meh. *shrug*

I recall interviews with the director talking shit about how Harryhausen and how his special effects sucked, and how he wished he could fit a musical number into the movie, so no thank you. You cannot entice me in with Liam Neeson this time, guys. Because Greek gods wearing medieval plate mail is just kinda stupid anyway.

I also wish everyone would stop following in Disney's footsteps and making Hades the villain. He just hangs out underground keeping an eye on dead people and precious gems, guys, give him a break already.

Posted by: Nat at November 11, 2009 11:42 AM

Jerce, I think the eyeball monsters would be the three Gray Sisters that share one eye and one tooth between the three of them. Now if they all have eyes in their palms, somebody was watching too much Del Toro.

I can't judge a trailer that won't let me see more than a second of anything. Points for the Postlethwaite though. But I mostly just miss Ray Harryhausen. I'm feeling a movie marathon coming on...

Posted by: Anne (in Reno) at November 11, 2009 11:47 AM

I recall interviews with the director talking shit about how Harryhausen and how his special effects sucked

And with that, I'm out altogether. And out of any other works by this jackass. Really, dude? Way to alienate half a prospective audience (and don't EVEN try to tell me that a minimum of half the audience wouldn't have been fans of the 1981 flick).

Harryhausen was a FUCKING PIONEER.

Posted by: Anna von Beaverpuppet at November 11, 2009 11:52 AM

Thank you Nat! Finally someone respects Hades! Shit. Dude's already got a thankless job and who gets all the bling? The horner-man with the lightning.
Although, he did kidnap his niece...
Plus, I wanna know: Is Pegasus gonna make an appearance? It already looks Buboless so the lack of THE flying horse of flying horses is not gonna be good for me. Even with the Neesom.

Posted by: Four Eyes at November 11, 2009 11:57 AM

Dammit! It's Neeson!

Posted by: Four Eyes at November 11, 2009 12:01 PM

Word Chenry. Titans Will Clash? Great.

Looks like another ADHD remake for the current movie going generation. Just what we need. Where is the sense of fantasy that was so pervasive in the first one?

Posted by: katy at November 11, 2009 12:07 PM

I'll watch it, but I refuse to be excited about it. Because I know I'll be setting myself up for a fall.

I'm with you on the Sam Worthington's skirt thing though, gp.

Posted by: Smokin at November 11, 2009 12:32 PM

Because Greek gods wearing medieval plate mail is just kinda stupid anyway.

Posted by: Nat at November 11, 2009 11:42 AM

--------------------------------

Yeah, that too.

All this use of historically questionable armor started with Fuqua's King Arthur, but at least HE had a plausible rationalization for it.

Posted by: BarbadoSlim at November 11, 2009 12:40 PM

I applaud the use of The Used's "The Bird and the Worm." Nice memories of when they didn't suck.

Posted by: Sean at November 11, 2009 9:56 AM

So... you're saying their first three albums were awesome, and the fourth one which was just released, sucks (Since Bird and the Worm was on Lies for the Liars)?

Just because you wanted to be the first person to call out the fact that you knew the song doesn't excuse you from being an idiot.

Posted by: Colin at November 11, 2009 12:43 PM

Scorpions can't be that big! There is not enough oxygen in the Earths atmosphere to support their simple diffusion respiration system via the gill to book lung structure. Also, the sheer weight of their exoskeleton would prohibit them from growing to such fantastic dimensions. The evaporative loss alone from so much surface area in such an arid environment would be sufficient to render a scorpion of that size incapacitated.

So yeah, Bullshit. But the boys sure do look purty.

Posted by: Lindsey with an 'e' at November 11, 2009 12:47 PM

I miss Harry Hamlin's chin. That thing could punch out a T-Rex.

Also how long are we going to run out the Pan's Labyrinth monsters? Is everything derivative of Del Toro or is there just no other way to have a live action monster? Is there a movie whose visual style has been more important in the last ten years?

It's nice (to me) to see that Del Toro's live action masterpiece has had more impact than, say, CGI-mapped performances in Beowulf. I thought for a while we were going to have nothing but bad Gollum-knockoffs for 15 years.

Posted by: D-Day at November 11, 2009 12:47 PM

Posted by: Lindsey with an 'e' at November 11, 2009 12:47 PM

Wow, your extensive knowledge of predatory arthropods makes you hot.

Posted by: BarbadoSlim at November 11, 2009 12:56 PM

I recall interviews with the director talking shit about how Harryhausen and how his special effects sucked.

And here I thought Leterrier knew better. Someone ought to tell him he lacks the fortitude to carry Harryhousen's jockstrap. That man was a god.

Clash of the Titans, Jason and the Argonauts, all the Sinbad movies. I grew up on that stuff and it's awesome.

Leterrier is just the latest in a long-line of hacks who seems to think that doing it shinier and louder makes it better. Sorry, this looks pretty but it looks soulless.

Harryhousen's movies had soul.

Posted by: Fredo at November 11, 2009 12:58 PM

Jesus, folks. Enough.

This: I recall interviews with the director talking shit about how Harryhausen and how his special effects sucked.

Is utter bullshit. Unless someone can find me a link. I'm not a Leterrier fan, but at least let's be honest about it. Stephen Norrington was the originally chosen director, and perhaps he said that (he's a notorious dickhead), but not Leterrier.

Because this: "I want to do an homage to Ray Harryhausen. He's still alive and will be part of the film." is what Leterrier actually said in this interview.

The closest I've come to finding anything negative said about Harryhausen is this quote by Sam Worthington: "We're not in fucking Harryhausen mode any more." Hardly a scathing indictment.

Posted by: TK at November 11, 2009 1:33 PM

I checked again and Leterrier seems to've gotten with the program since the early interviews, since a cursory Google search has him being all "Oh yeah, Harryhausen's totally involved! I love the original! I'm crapping all over it out of LOVE!" You know, the usual party line (of course then he's all "I'd love to do a Greek mythology franchise!" Step the fuck off my mythology, dude, it isn't a franchise.). Shankman, who is (or was?) redoing Sinbad, is still on the "Harryhausen's special FX sucked" train though.

But yeah, Harryhausen WAS a pioneer, and more than just the special FX, those movies GOT the Greek idea of the gods so well, just hanging out on Olympus playing games with their favorite mortals, betting on the lives of entire civilizations and everyone trying to stack the odds for their favorite player. I have serious doubts that any filmmaker or scriptwriter since then has really ever READ any Greek mythology, because they all miss the point just like this one probably will too.

I'd LOVE to see an actual good Greek myth adaptation, and it doesn't have to be 100% historically accurate by any means (85% or so will do), this one just won't be it. I had hope for the Percy Jackson movie, because the book was almost 100% true to Greek myth and incredibly well-researched (and the few bits that weren't I suspect was changed by the editors since American children are too delicate to know about rape or whatever), but then Chris whatsisface decided to make Medusa "hot" just because he wanted her to be hot, and.... well, there goes another filmmaker missing the point entirely. Poo.

Also, BUBO FOREVAHZ. That owl rocked.

Posted by: Nat at November 11, 2009 1:38 PM

Well I don't know what interweb TK was using, but the one I use quickly revealed this interview:


http://www.ecranlarge.com/article-details-9265.php

(subtitle alert)

In which this tool reveals just how big of a gone Hollywood assclown he truly is. Within the first minute he lays a massive dump on the original: "there was no Clash and o Titans" Oh reaaaaaaally? Fucking bitch forgot that whole "a titan to defeat a titan" that was the point of the original. Yet he later goes on to say he "grew up on it" yeah, sure. Oh and he's also going to change the Kraken and it's moist in his panties about his massive budget.

See for yourselves.


Posted by: BarbadoSlim at November 11, 2009 2:04 PM

Oh and did I leave out the part were he, with a straight face, says he wants it to be Star Wars?

Did I?

He did.

Posted by: BarbadoSlim at November 11, 2009 2:12 PM

BSlim:
Yeah baby, don't even get me started on the problem of cutenaeous respiration in large Arthropods...
*Slides glasses down, nibbles on end of pencil, peeks provocatively over glasses*
It gets me all hot and bothered.

See, that is exactly why I like this crowd: Y'all go for the hot brainiac thing.

Posted by: Lindsey with an 'e' at November 11, 2009 2:32 PM

Slim, I believe he's saying the original is essentially Star Wars, not the remake.

Posted by: Skewicide Blonde at November 11, 2009 2:44 PM

Could they really not come up with a better log line for Clash of the Titans than "Titans. Will. Clash."? Two thirds of those words are in the title, switching the order doesn't quite change that.

Posted by: NoDice at November 11, 2009 2:55 PM

Slim, I believe he's saying the original is essentially Star Wars, not the remake.

Posted by: Skewicide Blonde at November 11, 2009 2:44 PM
----------------------------------------------
I don't agree, but maybe he could be, he rambles like an idiot. But I'm pretty sure he says he wants adventure, to remake the mythology, like Star Wars.

OMG what an ego, he wants to remake Greek mythology.

Posted by: BarbadoSlim at November 11, 2009 3:06 PM

Yeah, but ad execs aren't terrbily bright. Just be grateful it wasn't "Of. Clash. The."

Posted by: Skewicide Blonde at November 11, 2009 3:07 PM

*terribly

Posted by: Skewicide Blonde at November 11, 2009 3:07 PM

Slim >> We may be at odds on the remake debate, but I'm with you on the attractiveness of scorpion arthropod expertise.

Posted by: DarthCorleone at November 11, 2009 4:36 PM

Is "TITANS. WILL. CLASH." the tag line? Because, if so, that is some fantastic movie advertising magic. Not lazy at all. And it can be used for so many other movies!

Coming Fall 2010:

March of the Penguins 2

PENGUINS. WILL. MARCH.

(This film not yet rated)

Posted by: MelBivDevoe at November 11, 2009 4:42 PM

Man, I really admire a man who can take the mythology of perseus, the story of gods, goddesses, wars, and battles, and the action involved in their lives and turn it into a crappy trailer set to the soundtrack of what testosterone-fueled middle schoolers listen to in their basement.

Posted by: Victor at November 11, 2009 4:44 PM

Slim >> We may be at odds on the remake debate, but I'm with you on the attractiveness of scorpion arthropod expertise.

Posted by: DarthCorleone at November 11, 2009 4:36 PM
-------------------------------------

Oh yeah.

Posted by: BarbadoSlim at November 11, 2009 4:48 PM

I'm there. Sold. Yes.

Posted by: Kate the Great at November 11, 2009 4:50 PM

I've had a soft spot for Sam Worthington ever since I saw him tap dance in the craptacular "Bootmen". Add Liam Neeson and Ralph Fiennes and I'm sold.

Posted by: redhead at November 11, 2009 5:46 PM

MelBivDevoe:

Don't stop there!

"Jurassic Park: This Park is Jurassic".

"Independence Day: Day of Independence".

"Juno: Juno".

Posted by: Daniel Hall at November 11, 2009 7:50 PM

Dear D-Day,

I am not your straw woman. Keep this up and I won't go to prom with you, I don't care if the corsage is paid for. God of War was 30 seconds of action wrapped in 15 minutes of walking around trying to find out which invisible wall wasn't a wall anymore...and I'm pretty sure it was a PS2 game. Fanboy in the corner, the adults are talking here.

-SiM

Posted by: Salad Is Murder at November 11, 2009 9:57 PM

In other news. Tonight...

SOUTHS...WILL...PARK.

Posted by: Salad Is Murder at November 11, 2009 9:58 PM

Families... are... Modern!

Posted by: Daniel Hall at November 11, 2009 10:18 PM

It's films like 300, and by all appearances, this one, that keep pushing me to watch and rewatch older films.

someone said it earlier in the comment stream. . .no fun or magic in these films. i might add, there is no drama or tension in these films. There's no longing or projecting --there's nothing to long for, nothing to project onto. they're just glitzy emptiness mythology is so rich, it must take real work to turn it into a video game. . .oh, wait, i guess you just borrow some names and titles and then make your CGI crapfest.

It's funny, as special effects reached the point where the sky was the limit on what could be presented, you'd think it would have opened the doors to even more fantastic story-telling, and yet, by and large(not all), we get these flat lifeless films. they don't move you, they don't take you anywhere. I'm sad for kids today(childhood being perhaps peak enchantment time for film viewing) glutted with so much eye candy yet starved of magic.

on a more positive note: God Bless Harryhausen!

Posted by: idleprimate at November 12, 2009 1:36 AM

Slim >> We may be at odds on the remake debate, but I'm with you on the attractiveness of scorpion arthropod expertise.

Posted by: DarthCorleone at November 11, 2009 4:36 PM
-------------------------------------

Oh yeah.

Posted by: BarbadoSlim at November 11, 2009 4:48 PM


See Guys, It's not all horses and tits with me. I'm complex.

Posted by: Lindsey with an 'e' at November 12, 2009 3:00 AM

What, she can't have layers?

Posted by: Anna von Beaverpuppet at November 12, 2009 9:02 AM

OK, you had me at “dirty sweaty Sam Worthington,” but for the win?

PETE POSTLETHWAITE!!!!

Posted by: Salieri2 at November 13, 2009 11:51 AM





Post a comment

 (required)

 (required)


Preview of your comment: