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A Terrifying New Serial Killer Movie! By Which I Mean... Stupid.

By TK | Posted Under Trailers | Comments (12)

america-olivo-20090210032310824.jpg

The stupid serial killer genre is already pretty goddamn crowded. I don’t mean films where the serial killer is stupid, though Circle may well be that. I mean serial killer films that are stupid, which this definitely is.

There’s so much awful to be found here. From this impenetrably obtuse and idiotically written synopsis:

CIRCLE is a clue driven race against time that takes us on a labyrinth ride of knowledge into the unraveling motives of a serial killer. In this thriller, the FBI teams up with the U.S. Marshals in a hunt for escaped sociopath James Bennett, after he commits a series of meticulously planned murders. Unfortunately, Bennett is going back to his childhood home, where six graduate students are studying his surroundings for their thesis. The movie takes us through the history of James Bennett and slowly into his mind as well; justifying his murders with ancient Greek philosophies to try and see the soul. A tug of war ensues between the FBI and the U.S. Marshals as the FBI scrambles to understand Bennett’s modus operandi, and the U.S. Marshals try to rationalize it.

(what the fuck is a “labyrinth ride of knowledge?” Somewhere, some fucksack is making more fucking money than any of us to write that shit. Balls.)

Anyway, from that bit of poetry to its cast of TV castoffs and shoulda-stayed-unknowns, it’s built for direct to video. And I doubt it’s even good enough for that. But it’s a slow goddamn news week, it’s worth making fun of (particularly the glassy-eyed mouth-breather of a killer), and there’s some shower-scene side-boob. That’s all I can offer you today, folks.

I’m doing my best, goddamn it.

Watch the fucking trailer and shut your ugly mouths.

For those who are curious, the young lady in the header pic is America Olivo, who I believe is the bearer of the aforementioned side-boob. She was also in Transformers: Revenge Of The Fallen as Frisbee Girl. Meaning she’s likely a better actress than Megan Fox.









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Comments

Well...

Nice header pic, anyway...

Posted by: Rykker at October 26, 2010 10:47 AM

Side boob is the new cleavage.

So, thanks for that.

Posted by: Groundloop at October 26, 2010 10:56 AM

Wow, thanks for the heads up on the must miss movie of the week. I think I'll kick the shit out of the next glassy eyed mouth breather that I run into.

Posted by: Skeetikus at October 26, 2010 10:57 AM

Six grad students all working on the same topic, at the same time, for their theses? Does Review of Serial Killer Science really need that many scholarly articles?

Posted by: Wednesday at October 26, 2010 11:00 AM

justifying his murders with ancient Greek philosophies to try and see the soul

I know a screenwriter who found a library!!!

Posted by: Kballs at October 26, 2010 11:11 AM

There are SO MANY things wrong with that description I don't even know where to start. It's not just that it sounds like a stupid movie, it's that gramatically that whole paragraph is fucking ridiculous. For one thing, it sounds like the movie is going to justify his murders with Greek philosophy. And are his motives unraveling, or is the labyrinth ride going to unravel them?

Posted by: Todd at October 26, 2010 11:15 AM

A labyrinth suggests some sort of a maze while a circle suggests anything but. I can't wait for the twist that ties the two together!

Posted by: admin at October 26, 2010 11:54 AM

Sure make light of her role as Frisbee Girl and completely skip over her lead role in the wonderfully named B-movie Bitch Slap!

And while I was on IMDB...I wondered why that serial killer looked so familiar. It seems he has guested on most US TV shows during the last 10 years. Not so creepy now, are you Silas?

Posted by: Simon at October 26, 2010 12:24 PM

-- clue-driven labryringth ride of knowledge
-- unraveling motives of serial killer
-- meticulously planned murders
-- childhood home
-- six graduate students studying for their thesis
-- into the mind of the killer
-- justifying his murders with ancient greek philosophies
-- try and see the soul
-- tug of war between the FBI and U.S. Marshals

I try to avoid triggering epileptic fits, so I'm actually going to pass on this one. M'kay? Greeeeat...

Posted by: superasente at October 26, 2010 12:32 PM

"Six grad students all working on the same topic, at the same time, for their theses?"

That means that they're really killing each other off, so that only one publishes the final thesis.

Posted by: BWeaves at October 26, 2010 1:37 PM

Judging from movies and TV, I estimate that there are 2,735 "escaped sociopaths" in the US. It's in every goddamn plot/tagline. Fortunately, there are none in Canada because we put special "additives" in our water.

Posted by: Uriah Creep at October 26, 2010 11:14 PM

Oh look it's that crazy dude from the first two seasons of Prison Break. Is that show still on? No, right? How many prisons can we actually break out of?

Posted by: HappyGobo at November 22, 2010 12:23 PM