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Choose Your Fairy Tales Wisely: New Trailers For Mirror, Mirror And Snow White And The Huntsman

By TK | Posted Under Trailers | Comments (55)

Mirror Mirror.jpg

It’s amazing to think that there was ever a point where people were concerned about there being two competing Snow White films. And yes, there are in fact two of them. There’s Tarsem Singh’s Mirror, Mirror, starring Lily Collins, Julia Roberts, and Armie Hammer. Then there’s Rupert Sanders’ Snow White And The Huntsman, starring Kristen Stewart, Chris Hemsworth, and Charlize Theron.

Despite telling the same story, they couldn’t be more different. They’ll have different ratings, and they’re catering to completely separate audiences. Both of them have new trailers out this week, so let’s have a look:

First, the new trailer for Snow White And The Huntsman. The serious, dark-toned one. Chris Hemsworth appears to be channeling his Thor persona, and Charlize Theron is absolutely fucking killing it in this trailer. She looks gorgeously sinister and drips venom with every word. I want to see it for her alone. Curiously, this is the second trailer for the film, and… once again, you don’t hear a single word from Kristen Stewart. Odd. But the film actually looks pretty interesting, and features a phenomenal cast as the digitally shortened dwarfs. This trailer doesn’t show much more than the original did, but it’s worth a look anyway.

Next, Mirror, Mirror. Considering that the last Tarsem Singh film I watched was the listless mythological splatterfest Immortals, this is quite the departure. It’s the very opposite of Sanders’ movie. It’s whimsical, silly, and syrupy-sweet. It’s all bright colors and pratfalls, and it’s also — dare I say it — kind of cute. I mean, seriously. It looks quite charming, in its own childish way. Julia Roberts seems to be mailing it in a little, but Armie Hammer and Lily Collins look like great fun, and as an added bonus it actual little people as the seven dwarfs. I dunno. I might have hit my head. You judge:















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Comments

Why are the dwarves wearing suits made of excrement in that heder pic?

Posted by: NateS1973 at January 27, 2012 11:11 AM

...sigh...header.

Posted by: NateS1973 at January 27, 2012 11:16 AM

Okay, Lily Collins is just not cute enough to be the fairest of them all. Couldn't they get the girl some tweezers?

Charlize is killing it as the queen. So excited for SWATH.

Posted by: TheEmpress at January 27, 2012 11:19 AM

I have two girls, 8 and 12 years old, and I think we are indeed the audience for Mirror, Mirror. I think I'd be willing to spend money on this to see it in the theater. It does look charming, and I completely agree with Lily Collins as "the fairest of them all."

What's the rating going to be on Snow White & the Huntsman? Will the audience they're targeting (Twitlight fans?) be interested in this, or will they just want more sparkly vampires?

Posted by: mswas at January 27, 2012 11:21 AM

Mirror Mirror looks like absolute garbage.

Julia Roberts looks to steal every scene with her hilarious antics. Armie Hammer turns into a fucking dog? And what's with the unibrow Snow White?

"Say hello to my little friend!"
Seriously? Making reference to SCARFACE during it? What time period is this supposed to be?

I hope this thing fails and then fails at failing. Then fails anyway.

Posted by: DJ SHovelpants at January 27, 2012 11:22 AM

TheEmpress and I disagree on Lily Collins - but is there any way Kristen Stewart could be considered "the fairest of them all?"

Only if we're talking about a fair complexion. Damn, girl get some sun!

Posted by: mswas at January 27, 2012 11:23 AM

Lily Collins looks like the cute niece Julia Roberts never had.

Posted by: L.O.V.E. at January 27, 2012 11:28 AM

I would pay to see "Mirror, Mirror" only if I could be promised that when Julia Roberts looks in the mirror and says "Who's the fairest of them all?" the mirror says, "Look, bitch, we've been over this how many times? You might have been hot -- and I'm being REALLY fucking generous here, OK? -- MIGHT, I say, have been hot with the help of your Hollywood hair and makeup staff back -- waaaaaay back, I might add, what year was that, 1620? -- when you did that 'Pretty Woman' deal? But it's been 'not so much' for at least a decade now, Muppet mouth, so give it up here, OK? And you walk funny too. To think that handsome men actually FOUGHT over you in the Oceans movies. I've never seen anything more ridic ..."

At this point the mirror is shattered with a mace.

Posted by: , at January 27, 2012 11:36 AM

"The motion picture event of the year."

That one line just guaranteed that I won't be seeing Mirror, Mirror.

Snow White and the Huntsman, however, looks pretty damn fetching.

Posted by: admin at January 27, 2012 11:45 AM

That trailer for Mirror Mirror is slightly better than the other one I saw (though Julia Roberts was better in the other one), as that was just painful and did the usual 'Here is the entire film from a to b, now don't you want to go see it?' thing. But I cannot deal with Armie Hammer. What the hell is with his voice? Is he a cyborg? Cough or something dude, it does my head in.

Posted by: Carrie/Teabelly at January 27, 2012 11:49 AM

Hansel & Gretel

Posted by: Jay at January 27, 2012 11:58 AM

Comma

Finally! Someone else has noticed how she walks. She lumbers. She walks like she's carrying two pails of milk up hill over five miles of fields to the dairy. So many times I have wondered why nobody has given her any deportment training in her many years as a top star. And yet, when I point it out no-one else seems to have noticed.

Posted by: PaddyDog at January 27, 2012 12:14 PM

"DJ SHovelpants"

Really?

AWESOME!

I could have opinions about this movie, but, let's be honest, I'm a 44 year old woman with a 6 year old and limited resources for babysitters. If I actually go out to a movie anytime in the next 6 months, these are not going to be them. The Artist is going to be them. These are for a night at home saying, "No, but Pajiba said it was good," with Netflix and then the whole "Who on Pajiba said it was good?" conversation with Mr. Julien. Then the ranting should the film prove disappointing. The ranting generally proceeds thusly:

1. Who reviewed it?

2. Does Mr. Julien consider that person a good reviewer or a good writer? Perhaps both?

3. Sublimated feelings of maybe a vague jealousy of my time on Pajiba, and my having the opportunity to "write" (I know, but he never reads the drivel I post. He gives me the benefit of the doubt and I only report the “good” bits).

4. Over-reaction to something someone said on Pajiba, leaving me defending someone I don't even necessarily agree with, or, more to the point, know.

5.Expressions of general hostility toward Pajiba.

6. Anger towards the film industry in general. The Kardashians will figure into it somehow.

6. “He hasn't even seen Lawrence of Arabia”. This is the Rome that all Pajiba roads lead to.

Plus popcorn.

In case you're wondering what movie I will be falling asleep to tonight, it's Moneyball. I watch the first half of so many movies.

Posted by: Mrs. Julien at January 27, 2012 12:30 PM

At this point the mirror is shattered with a mace.

Posted by: , at January 27, 2012 11:36 AM

Agreed, but at this point wouldn't her actual face do the trick?

Posted by: L.O.V.E. at January 27, 2012 12:54 PM

You take Pajiba's movie advice?

Posted by: Jay at January 27, 2012 1:00 PM

At this point the mirror is shattered with a mace.

Posted by: , at January 27, 2012 11:36 AM

Oh shit. Did you mean Mace Windu? Because this movie would be ten times better with light sabers. And Yoda as one of the Dwarves. And Boba Fett as the Huntsman. And Natalie Portman as Snow White.

Ah fuck. Here comes George Lucas. Nevermind. Go away, George. Nothing to see here.

Posted by: L.O.V.E. at January 27, 2012 1:01 PM

“He hasn't even seen Lawrence of Arabia”.

Notice how I slipped that into the "WTF Oscars" post? Dustin didn't.

Posted by: Jay at January 27, 2012 1:02 PM

It all depends on #1.

Posted by: Mrs. Julien at January 27, 2012 1:02 PM

I repeat my incredulous question.

Posted by: Jay at January 27, 2012 1:03 PM

So... um... one of them is Time Bandits for girls?

Was Time Bandits not for girls?

Time Bandits is awesome.

Posted by: lubeg at January 27, 2012 1:06 PM

That Mirror Mirror one gives off a Fred Clause-type vibe. Highly-colored hijinks! Madcap references to current-day cultural memes! Slapstick-y lets-poke-fun-at-ourselves-ness! I'm grateful my kids are just a bit too old for it. But they are the perfect age and temperament to wallow in that Huntsman one. The one with the hunky, too-young-for-me-but-not-in-my-filthy-imagination guy playing the huntsman.

Also, I really hate trailers that basically just tell the whole damned movie. I like a little teasing-peekaboo-lingerie with my trailers.

Posted by: klingonfree at January 27, 2012 1:06 PM

(Oh, I kid, I kid, because there's long been very good writers here and I don't identify with any of them)

Posted by: Jay at January 27, 2012 1:06 PM

The issue is NEVER, NEVER, NEVER, NEVER, DON'T YOU EVEN THINK IT with the quality of the writing in the reviews.

Posted by: Mrs. Julien at January 27, 2012 1:15 PM

My husband just came in and asked me why I was watching a trailer for "Ella Enchanted".

Posted by: Hayden Tompkins at January 27, 2012 1:19 PM

'ABC presents a Walt Disney Sunday Night Event with limited commercial interruption...MIRROR, MIRROR!'

Posted by: Andrew at January 27, 2012 1:28 PM

Are you sure you don't have the directors mixed up? Because the Huntsman trailer looks like Tarsem Singh to the bone.

The other one...god, Julia Roberts. I can't get over how much she bugs me. But it does remind me quite a bit of Enchanted. In a good way. But ugh. Julia Roberts.

Posted by: figgy at January 27, 2012 1:59 PM

Charlize Theron totally did not overdo the mirror, mirror line. Is she expecting an Oscar nom. for this too?

And I can't wait to see the explanation for KStew's agility in that shiny armor. It better be made of something Mithril-like to explain how her scrawny ass can do anything in it.

Hemsworth could've changed his hair at the very least. Lazy bastard.

Okay, Lily Collins is just not cute enough to be the fairest of them all. Couldn't they get the girl some tweezers?

Thank you! I've been losing sleep over her eyebrows ever since The Priest. Seriously, how the fuck does she gets away with it? Fairest my ass.

And the rest of Mirror Mirror looks like a turd with a soft gooey center made of cat puke.

Fuck Julia Roberts. And this Ben-who the fuck cares-Into the-Lyons-den doppelganger.

Posted by: haplo at January 27, 2012 2:10 PM

It's sooo appropriate that they only show Stewart in two or three quick shots and no speaking.

Why the hell is Hemsworth fighting with tiny hatchets? Is he a huntsman or the guy who make the kindling?

It's gotta be one ugly kingdom if Monobrow White is the fairest.

Posted by: Protoguy at January 27, 2012 2:26 PM

L.O.V.E, Julia does have a very lovely, and dare I say cute, niece - Emma Roberts. And honestly I would've rather seen her in the role a few years ago with dyed hair than Lily Collins.

And now I await your belittlement.

(sidenote - I'm sure I'll end up watching this movie from the safety of my couch while sick a few years from now)

Posted by: faintingviolet at January 27, 2012 2:41 PM

Nice,guys (and gals), way to turn this thread into a rant about how two of the leads aren't 'hot' enough. That's pretty shallow, not to mention a very limited idea of female beauty (really, her eyebrows are too thick and that's it!?) Seriously, sometimes I can't even...

Posted by: Alarmjaguar at January 27, 2012 2:42 PM

Do we have to choose? Cause neither looks that good to me.

Posted by: RustyCrowe at January 27, 2012 2:48 PM

This is especially frickin' irritating after the Viola Davis post below that acknowledges that Hollywood has very particular ideas about what who is a beautiful leading actress and who is not. Glad to see we're not buying into that shallow Hollywood crap, no sir, not us!

Posted by: Alarmjaguar at January 27, 2012 2:49 PM

The only thing that got me excited in this whole post was the Drive DVD/Blu-Ray release trailer before Mirror Mirror. The dubstep cut made me want to find a theater and see the film again...

Posted by: krza at January 27, 2012 2:51 PM

Armie Hammer. With a sword. Yes.

Obviously SW&TH looks much better, and yes, I am stoked about Charlize Theron, but Armie Hammer is very nice to look at, and I would listen to him talk all day, and I have a thing about guys with swords, even if I can probably still beat him when I haven't picked up a weapon in damn near two years at this point.

They'll both end up 'Flixed anyway, so whatevs.

Posted by: Samantha at January 27, 2012 3:07 PM

It'd be nice if 'Monobrow White' was a tribute to Jennifer Connoly's delightful brow in Labyrinth but I doubt it. Man that movie ruled, I had a terrible crush on Bowie.

Anyway, I'll probably see both but only Huntsman in the cinema.

Posted by: catagisreading at January 27, 2012 3:18 PM

Alarmjaguar, I see your point. But I do want to respectfully point out that it is a pretty mainstream fairy tale and it does say "Fairest of them all." So while I get your umbrage at the posts accusing her of not being pretty enough, I can't share it only because it really does call for someone to be at least conventionally if not drop-dead pretty. This young lady is lovely but I don't think she lives anywhere near GorgeousTown. But that's just me. I'm not sure any of the posters above really think Lily Whatsit is not pretty. It's just that if she is going to be claiming the crown of fairest of them all, maybe she could be a little bit more...MORE.

Posted by: klingonfree at January 27, 2012 3:24 PM

Look, I didn't say the girl was fug. She would actually be really cute if her eyebrows weren't so damn distracting. That doesn't mean I "buy into shallow Hollywood crap," it means I think certain casting choices are dumb. No one got all indignant when we all called Diane Court too annoyingly dull to realistically attract the magnificence that is Lloyd Dobbler.

Posted by: TheEmpress at January 27, 2012 3:40 PM

Klingonfree - I get that, but frankly, if we are going with the fairy tale as our point of reference, when it was created, fairest of them all more or less the person without pox marks. And TheEmpress, I missed that thread or I may have chimed in, but on the other hand, dullness is not about looks, it is about behavior.

Posted by: Alarmjaguar at January 27, 2012 4:04 PM

if her eyebrows weren't so damn distracting.

That's your problem.

Posted by: Jay at January 27, 2012 4:10 PM

Posted by: faintingviolet at January 27, 2012 2:41 PM

I was joking. Its kind of my thing. Like sex. My other thing. Only with slightly less laughter and confusion. The joking thing that is.

Posted by: L.O.V.E. at January 27, 2012 4:10 PM

Lily Collins is beautiful and I'm sick of hearing about her damn eyebrows. They do not need to be plucked, shaped, shaved, dyed or diced. They're great the way they are.

Posted by: NeoCleo at January 27, 2012 4:18 PM

My main problem with "Snow White and The Huntsman" is in just what freakin' universe is Kirsten Stewart fairer than Charlize Theron? Charlize, honey, don't worry, you're fine. Now stop pestering the mirror and start sucking down some more sweet, sweet, soul.

Posted by: luthien26 at January 27, 2012 4:18 PM

NeoCleo, we agree with you 100%.

Very truly yours,

L.O.V.E.
Peter Gallagher
Frida Kahlo
Hugh Acheson and
Bert

Posted by: L.O.V.E. at January 27, 2012 4:41 PM

And Andy Rooney! Dont forget Andy Rooney!

Posted by: klingonfree at January 27, 2012 4:51 PM

Hey! What about me? You know what comes between me and my eyebrows? Nothing.

Posted by: 1984 Brooke Shields at January 27, 2012 4:56 PM

Andy Rooney?
Fuck that guy. He's dead to me.

Posted by: L.O.V.E. at January 27, 2012 5:02 PM

Brooke baby, you know your 80's style bush is always welcome in my house.

Posted by: L.O.V.E. at January 27, 2012 5:05 PM

Lilly Collins is gorgeous. Disparage thick eyebrows, and you disparage the attractiveness of Jennifer Connelly. And that way madness lies.

Frankly, I think both these movies look like a waste. I'm embarrassed for Tarsem (dopey humor, really guy?), and SW&TH is riding that crappy Alice in Wonderland's coattails so hard they're ripping, not to mention the suspicious silence of their ostensible protagonist.

Posted by: Frodo Baggins at January 28, 2012 1:04 AM

It's an impossible decision. I'll just have to hope that when I flip the coin it somehow explodes and kills me.

Posted by: Inquisitive Mind at January 28, 2012 3:08 AM

I will fap it to only one of these two films. Place your bets as to which one it will be.

Posted by: fluxion187 at January 28, 2012 3:57 AM

Does Armie Hammer say 'I'm a fucking idiot'?

Posted by: Keith at January 28, 2012 11:00 AM

Andy Rooney didn't have a unibrow, he had fuzzy gray caterpillars.

Posted by: kirbyjay at January 29, 2012 8:51 AM

I'll see both.
We'll see SWATH at the theater and MM on Netflix.
MM looks like an old Disney movie, like from the 50's and I dont mind that.

Posted by: logan at January 29, 2012 10:25 AM

Don't let her hear you say that.

Posted by: Mrs. Julien at January 29, 2012 10:38 AM

I can't get past the fact I see Ronald Lee Clark from Pit Boss. Apparently he made the cut for Mirror Mirror. (No pun intended.)


Posted by: Gistine at January 29, 2012 11:26 PM