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Can't Hardly. . .Waaaaait A Minute

By Joanna Robinson | Posted Under Trailers | Comments (35)



tophdouche.jpg

Christopher John “Topher” Grace, what what WHAT are you doing in this film? (Or in that header picture for that matter…really, is THAT the doucheface you think is appropriate when a nice, young, follicularly blessed female drapes herself across you? Also, button your shirt.) Listen, folks, Topher really ought to be more famous than he is. I know it. You know it. Even Ashton Kutcher knows it. The kid (am I allowed to call them kids when they’re older than I am?) can carry off a really appealing mix of earnestness and snarkasm that only occasionally veers off into Smarm City (see photo above). I’m not saying he can act, though his small role in Traffic was, in my opinion, pretty great. That movie about synergy was pretty boring, but I think we can all feel comfortable pinning the blame entirely on Ryan Reynolds’ ex-wife (that one was for you, boss).

The kid (it feels right, I’m sticking with it) hasn’t had as much fame as I think he deserves, and it bothers me that he’s the third most-known actor to come out of That 70’s Show (fourth if you count the sexploits of Wilmer Valderrama, which I would prefer not to). But if something is going to revitalize his career, it’s not this tripe. Take Me Home Tonight stars Grace as an aimless MIT grad who lies about his prospects in order to win the heart of fair maiden (a blandly pretty Teresa Palmer, whom I thought was a blond Kristen Stewart for the entirety of the trailer). Anna Faris (loved by Pajibans) and Dan Fogler (reviled by Pajibans and ping-pong enthusiasts the world over) accompany Grace in that tried and true formula of The Movie That Takes Place Mostly In One Night, Usually There’s a Party, Also Some Hijinkery. That’s a formula that can either work very well (Superbad, Can’t Hardly Wait, Sixteen Candles) or, not (I Love You, Beth Cooper…what a sh*tshow). I’m going to put this firmly in the “not” category. Grace is great, but Ethan Embry he is not. Written by Jackie Filgo, longtime producer and writer for That 70’s show (ok, fine, that explains Grace’s involvement), the movie looks a little too heavy on the hijinkery and light on the, well, substance. Oh, also, it’s an 80’s period movie, which means there’s some neon, Topher’s blazer sleeves are rolled and they get to use an Eddie Money song in the trailer.


This film was shot in 2007 and a delay of this length cannot possibly bode well. Remember Fanboys? No? I rest my case. There are several reasons why a film might be delayed for four years but my pet theory is that three years is the amount of time the producers gave us to forget this Topher vehicle from 2007.

But you didn’t forget, did you? Me neither. And I won’t be seeing this movie…probably…possibly…I really like that Eddie Money song, you guys









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Comments

She is really hot,i just heard that she is hooking up with a tall basketball player on a tall dating place named: tallconnect.com ,really?

Posted by: clarkzhang at December 15, 2010 11:38 AM

YES really, spambot!11!!

OMGOMGOMGOMGOMG

Posted by: Ian at December 15, 2010 11:40 AM

Also, in the unpopular opinion of the day, Fogler gets a 10 year pass from me for "25th Annual Putnam County Spelling Bee".

Posted by: Ian at December 15, 2010 11:44 AM

Oh, CRAP. This looks like exactly the kind of stupid movie I will watch almost no matter what anyway, and then they go and stick Topher and AnnFar in it AND set it during my formative years, and I'm done for. Yep, I'll like totally be seeing this. Like dammit.

Also, I never even remember who Dan Fogler is, so I'm not really offended by him. It's actually possible, in fact, that I've never seen him in anything.

Posted by: Anna von Beav at December 15, 2010 11:47 AM

My favorite period movie? Carrie.

Posted by: Optimus Rhyme at December 15, 2010 11:51 AM

Why doesn't Anna Faris get better movies? She clearly has awesome comic timing.


p.s. Anyone know where I can find a tall lady?

Posted by: Simon at December 15, 2010 11:54 AM

I heart you, Ian. I watched The Dane Cook that Shall Not Be Named (forgive me) and I thought Fogler was the most foul creature e'er to wander this plain. And then I found out he had a Tony for Spelling Bee. I think I almost cried tears of confusion.

And yeah, this movie looks stupid, but I giggled at, "Wow, wrong again."

Posted by: Patty O'Green at December 15, 2010 11:55 AM

We at the Julien household LOVE Topher Grace and just can't understand why he isn't doing better.

Watch In Good Company on Netflix. You will find it surprisingly good.

Posted by: Mrs. Julien at December 15, 2010 11:57 AM

So, uh, what do you think about Topher Grace again? This article oscillates from the "he's so underrated and charming" viewpoint to "he's not a great actor and he's definitely no ethan embry." Confusing. I enjoyed him in Predators.

Posted by: Alison at December 15, 2010 12:03 PM

Using the title Take Me Home Tonight would imply red firelight and giving it all you've got, Topher. As such, I will be waiting here patiently for the fat bottomed girls.
::sits down, folds arms::

Posted by: branded at December 15, 2010 12:03 PM

Did anyone here see the kid make sexytimes with Laura Linney in P.S.? The film looked like it sucked so I never bothered, but I really fancy that combination of two people.

Posted by: Caspar at December 15, 2010 12:03 PM

fat bottomed girls.

They make the Rykker's world go round...

Posted by: Rykker at December 15, 2010 12:07 PM

You need to give ear worm warnings. I can't possibly have that song stuck in my head all day. It's not fair.

Posted by: PaddyDog at December 15, 2010 12:12 PM

I don't think he looks smarmy in that picture. I think he looks terrified. Which is kind of endearing.

That being said, I totally didn't watch the preview, wasn't really a That 70s Show fan, but profess my love for Topher anyway.

Posted by: DominaNefret at December 15, 2010 12:22 PM

It's worth it just to see Michelle Trachtenberg as a hot gothic bitch.

Posted by: Larold at December 15, 2010 12:26 PM

well that was traumatizing. that isn't simply a movie set in the 80's, it is an 80's movie.

that's not fuckin cool. I can't unwatch that and i am now breaking out in PTSD adolsecent nightmare hives.

Posted by: idleprimate at December 15, 2010 12:33 PM

Who plays the dad/cop? Looks a lot like Michael Biehn...

Topher is a talented guy, but hotness always wins out over talent in Hollywood; thus you see that asshat Kutcher in rom-coms and Nikkon commercials every five minutes, and Topher gets stuck in crap like this. I'm guessing he at least makes it tolerable.

Posted by: DeadBessie at December 15, 2010 12:43 PM

Oh dear, that movie looks *terrible.* And I agree, Topher deserves more fame/good work. And while I'm agreeing, I'm with Mrs. Julien on In Good Company being a good movie.

Posted by: tamatha at December 15, 2010 12:53 PM

Sorry, Paddy, but I never knew no good from bad.

Posted by: branded at December 15, 2010 1:28 PM

My favorite period movie? Carrie.

@optimus
freakin hilarious. i just saw that last night and i would have to agree with you

Posted by: daria at December 15, 2010 1:29 PM

My favorite period movie? Carrie.

@optimus
freakin hilarious. i just saw that last night and i would have to agree with you

Posted by: daria at December 15, 2010 1:31 PM

Hey Branded... wrong song. Eddie Money.

Posted by: superking at December 15, 2010 1:44 PM

I feel a need to put on some Eddie Money, watch Can't Hardly Wait, and promptly forget this trailer ever existed.

Posted by: thecreepingkid at December 15, 2010 1:48 PM

I thought I'd heard a few years back that Topher wanted to direct more and not really be an actor. I went on IMDB to verify this and guess what? He has no directing credits but he wrote and executive produced Take Me Home Tonight.

I don't know if that bodes well for this movie or not.

Posted by: Paultera at December 15, 2010 1:49 PM

His biggest mistake, I think, is that he's named "Topher". That's not a name. That's a Disney cartoon rabbit.

Posted by: Chola_Figgy at December 15, 2010 1:50 PM

My favorite period movie? Carrie.

Optimus Rhyme for EE 4eva. Another perfect one-liner on a par with "Are you there, Godtopus? It's me, Margaret."

Posted by: MM at December 15, 2010 2:22 PM

I think I'll just rewatch Tuff Turf.

Posted by: Melissa at December 15, 2010 2:36 PM

My favorite period movie? Carrie.

Dude, since you Optimus-types are like robotic and shit, how 'bout donating some parts to the repair of my now inoperable, 100-proof drenched monitor?

Posted by: Rykker at December 15, 2010 3:39 PM

Thank God I never saw Spiderman 3.

Posted by: Three-nineteen at December 15, 2010 5:08 PM

Topher Grace fucking ruined Venom/Eddie Brock. Eddie Brock without the symbiote was a pretty big guy, and he certainly didnt cry and moan about losing his job. He was a meticulous motherfucker that formed a bond with the symbiote out of a mutual hatred for Spiderman/Peter Parker. Anyways, I'm a big fan of Venom, although I like Marc Gaggon better. Regardless, I have a hard time watching him in anything these days.

Posted by: SilverMan at December 15, 2010 5:34 PM

I have a weakness for Eddie Money songs, too. This looks Netflixable.

Posted by: MelBivDevoe at December 15, 2010 6:55 PM

Did anyone here see the kid make sexytimes with Laura Linney in P.S.? The film looked like it sucked so I never bothered, but I really fancy that combination of two people.
Posted by: Caspar at December 15, 2010 12:03 PM

Saw it. Tolerated it.

This looks entertaining. I really don't understand why Topher Grace isn't in more movies. He's quite good and can play a variety of emotions well. I liked him a lot in In Good Company.

Posted by: grace b at December 15, 2010 8:18 PM

How dare you call Carrie a period film?
It's a gem for the ages, damn you.

Posted by: cinekat at December 16, 2010 6:53 AM

I'm sorry Patty O'Green, I'm fairly sure there's no dating place on the web where you can find tall people. You'll just have to find some other place to connect with tall people.

Posted by: Ender at December 16, 2010 7:32 AM

Every so often, when I'm driven mad with work related stress, I spam my friends with that Spiderman 3 video. Knowing I'm making them suffer makes me feel slightly better.

Posted by: ash at December 16, 2010 2:11 PM