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Christina Aquilera Flaunts; Kristen Bell Is Nowhere to Shimmy

By Dustin Rowles | Posted Under Trailers | Comments (22)

burlesque01.jpg

Here’s the first trailer for the musical Burlesque, which stars Christina Aguilera, Cher, Stanley Tucci, and supposedly, Kristen Bell. But Ms. Bell gets only two split-second shots in the trailer (as a brunette), while most of the focus is on Aguilera and Cher. And as many bad movies as Kristen Bell has made, it’s still criminal not to play up her involvement, especially when we’re talking about a neo-burlesque club. And if I’m not mistaken, “burlesque” is French for under-clothed.

I’d at least like to say that it’s nice to see Cher continue to get some work, but that wouldn’t be an honest statement.



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Comments

I know the girl can sing, but I just do NOT enjoy the sound of her voice. I will not be seeing this.
Cher looks better than she has in awhile though.

Posted by: Whorish Mouth at August 5, 2010 9:36 AM

Well it looks pretty terrible and Aguilera's acting is a bit meh, though I'll give her the benefit of the doubt and say she doesn't get to do much in the trailer. I'll probably see it, maybe on DVD.

Posted by: Carrie at August 5, 2010 9:41 AM

CHER!

That is all.

Posted by: Mrs. Julien at August 5, 2010 9:41 AM

And here I thought "burlesque" was French for bad wigs.

Definitely needs more Kristen Bell.

Posted by: Uda at August 5, 2010 9:41 AM

So they're re-doing Showgirls?

Posted by: Brook at August 5, 2010 9:44 AM

Bah. Wake me when she's flopping around like an epileptic dolphin.

Posted by: Tracer Bullet at August 5, 2010 9:50 AM

Thank you, Sony, I was actally gonna watch that! Phew.

Posted by: Jay at August 5, 2010 9:53 AM

I am a little bit ashamed to say that I will probably end up buying this film, to go on my shelf of tacky-and-kind-of-awful-but-feel-good films.
Actually, you know what? I'm not ashamed. Because to second Mrs. Julien - CHER!

Posted by: squeeziee at August 5, 2010 9:53 AM

tacky-and-kind-of-awful-but-feel-good films

Does "Glitter" make the cut?

Posted by: Jay at August 5, 2010 9:57 AM

Oh fuck no.
I was really looking forward to some Veronica-Mars-in-von-Teese's-clothes-induced wood. Instead I get Aguilera's atrocious lips babbling wooden phrases. Why can't this be at least half-decent?

Posted by: Mo at August 5, 2010 10:35 AM

I really can't understanding people taking trailers off Youtube. Then next month they are gonna pay millions to put a 15-second spot on TV.

Posted by: zito at August 5, 2010 10:58 AM

Saved by American copyright law!

Posted by: Mega Shark at August 5, 2010 11:01 AM

No, really, I wanna know!

Posted by: Jay at August 5, 2010 11:11 AM

@Jay

As my mother would say, "That is between you and your god."

Posted by: Mrs. Julien at August 5, 2010 11:15 AM

I read the header as Christina HENDRICKS flaunts. And now that I've read everything I take back the obscenities I yelled when I couldn't watch.

Posted by: Optimus Rhyme at August 5, 2010 11:19 AM

______ Sugarmommamatch.C o m _____hot and sincere people from all parts of the world gather here, for the one common goal. Search and meet their friends or dream lovers!!! it always worths the efforts to try! life is a journey, no body wants to be alone! anyway, that's what I heard from a hot cougar from there...

Posted by: mary at August 5, 2010 11:35 AM

OK so I don't know a damned thing about Burlesque other than...well, aren't the women who do it supposed to be all voluptuous and curvy and shit? Even if it's fake voluptuousness? Who would pay money to see a troll-like Christina Aguilera do burlesque? She's flat as as a board and has no hips or anything. She's pretty as she is, but dammit, I'll never buy her as a burlesque dancer. That's just ridiculous.

Posted by: figgy at August 5, 2010 12:14 PM

Are you saying "Glitter" is not to be spoken of? It's feel-good...but is it too awful?...but not awful enough to be "Showgirls"? I'll admit, that film fascinates me.

Posted by: Jay at August 5, 2010 12:22 PM

In which basement closet in Hollywoodland was this abombination dreamed up? Everything about this shreiks "This isn't going to make money!" Are they banking on Christina Aguilera? Cher? The bordello setting? I just do not get it at all.

Anyone who can explain this whole thing to me -- I'm all ears.

Posted by: superasente at August 5, 2010 12:26 PM

If you really want to see it, the trailer is available at IMDB. My advice: don't bother. Spunky girl goes to LA, stumbles into a random club, does menial jobs for a while, shows off unexpectedly strong voice, takes off Xtina-level amount of clothes, and lives happily ever after despite all the Hollywood-type drama she encounters. It's Flashdance meets Showgirls meets Fame. Been there, done that. (Well, not me personally; don't be difficult.)

Posted by: Uriah Creep at August 5, 2010 9:35 PM

X-tina is NOT FLAT. That girl has a rack you could take shelter under...if you were 2 feet tall.

Posted by: the sandwich at August 6, 2010 4:34 PM

Kristen Bell did her thing in this movie. I never imagined her as a brunette though, she really pulls it off. I was impressed. Anytime you put CHer and Christina Aguilera in the same place you will not be disappointed!

Posted by: Lily at January 7, 2011 12:53 AM