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Buffy Remake Still Happening; Second Headline Same as the First

By Dustin Rowles | Posted Under Trailers | Comments (20)



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For some reason, all the movie blogs are running a new story today with a headline along the lines of “Warner Brothers Developing Buffy the Vampire Slayer Remake; Joss Whedon Not involved.”

Funny thing is, if you do a Google search for “Buffy the Vampire Slayer” and limit your search to late May 2009, you’ll get the exact same headlines. Compare 2009 to 2010.

The only new wrinkle here is that Whit Anderson is now attached as scriptwriter. And she “loves” the series. So, yeah. Old news is new news. So, fuck it. I’m re-running our original post because nothing else has changed. (Source: LA Times. Thanks for rehashing on a slow news day!)

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Hang on to your Charlie horses, folks. You’re going to need to do a lot of rubbing — this one is going to burn. Fran Rubel Kuzui, who directed the original Kristy Swanson Buffy the Vampire Slayer movie is putting together a Buffy reboot. And it’s going to have nothing to do with Joss Whedon or his television show.

Now, come on. Pick yourself up off the floor. Be a man, for God’s sake. Don’t act like Buffy was supposed to be safe from this sort of treatment just because it’s one of your favorite shows of all time. Of course it’s going to be remade. And you’re going to watch it, because that’s the sort of person you are. Now dust yourself off, and pick up all the shit you just pushed off your cubicle desk.

See: Fran Rubel Kuzui and his Kuzui Enterprises have always owned the right to Buffy. They made the first film, and they helped Whedon to launch the series. And clearly, Fran has nothing else going for her. She hasn’t directed anything since the original movie, and besides producing Orgazmo, Buffy has been her life.

The idea here is that she wouldn’t disturb the Whedon universe at all (there will be no Willow, no Angel, etc.) — the reboot will focus on a new generation of Vampire Slayers. Much like J.J. Abrams did with Star Trek, they’ll be able to start all over from scratch (a notion that McG might’ve considered with T4).

According to Reuters:

The new “Buffy” film, however, would have no connection to the TV series, nor would it use popular supporting characters like Angel, Willow, Xander or Spike. Kuzui and Vertigo are looking to restart the story line without trampling on the beloved existing universe created by Whedon.

One of the underlying ideas of “Buffy” allows the filmmakers to do just that: that each generation has its own vampire slayer to protect it. The goal would be to make a darker, event-sized movie that would, of course, have franchise potential.

See that? Event movie. Franchise potential. A whole new Buffy. And maybe this time they can do better than Sarah Michelle Gellar (no offense). It’s not so bad, really. They could’ve attempted to bring back Gellar, Boreanz, Michelle Trachtenberg, and Alyson Hannigan and messed up your beloved memories of the TV show. This way, if they screw it up (and they probably will), the collateral damage is minimal. You can keep your Buffy and just tell the new generation Buffy to get off your lawn. No harm done.










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Comments

*builds privacy fence around lawn to save self the trouble*

Nice header pic, though.

Posted by: Rykker at November 22, 2010 4:28 PM

The goal would be to make a darker, event-sized movie that would, of course, have franchise potential.

You know what would have franchise potential? Buffy hunting down every character in Twilight a la Kill Bill and turning them into a bloody dusty smear on the wall.

Posted by: Vi at November 22, 2010 4:41 PM

I actually like most of the other Cullens. The Pater Familias seems like a pretty decent, intelligent sort of guy, with a sexy wife.

I mean... Pajiba hate stupid vampire movie. Rar.

Posted by: twig at November 22, 2010 4:50 PM

Grrr. Aargh.

Posted by: Mrs. Julien at November 22, 2010 5:00 PM

Quite the apt response, Mrs. J.

Posted by: Rykker at November 22, 2010 5:07 PM

No news is good news.

Posted by: superasente at November 22, 2010 5:23 PM

Since Buffy (the TV show) was a remake of Buffy (the movie) and starred totally different people, with totally different supporting players, I guess this will be the 3rd time around.

Posted by: BWeaves at November 22, 2010 5:38 PM

Here's the thing, BWeaves: The movie was still written by Joss Whedon, on spec. It's his idea, his baby, and the Kuzui's nearly ruined it the first time around, which is why he made the TV show.

I'm fully onboard with a new Buffy in every sense of the word, I just wish it was being made by people who had any evidence of competence. Getting Joss Whedon back would be great, but it isn't totally necessary. Brian K. Vaughn's written some great Buffy/Angel comics, and he worked on the undisputed great seasons of LOST (3-5). If his name were attached, in any way, this would be exciting news.

Otherwise... why make us go through all this again, Dustin? Damn you! Just because R-Squared is moving on up, that doesn't mean you have to hurt the rest of us.

Posted by: RobP at November 22, 2010 5:52 PM

As long as there is no Angel. Gawd. Angel make stardust face-punchy.

Posted by: stardust at November 22, 2010 6:38 PM

Fun facts off of Wikipedia: Ryan Reynolds auditioned for the role of Xander on the television series and didn't get it. Nathan Fillion auditioned for the role of Angel and didn't get it.

Posted by: Steven Lloyd Wilson at November 22, 2010 8:01 PM

Hoooooly shiiiiiit. I was waiting, and dreading this day. I knew it, I knew it, I knew it! What the FUCK!?

One can only hope that this is just another Ghostbusters Three and will never actually be made.

If it's forty years from now...then go ahead. Do whatever the hell you want. I'll be sixty by then and probably be living in a hole.


Posted by: Candee at November 22, 2010 8:12 PM

I do kind of agree with RobP, though. There would have to be some DAMN good writers on board, or have Joss Whedon involved again.

Posted by: Candee at November 22, 2010 8:15 PM

I'll be sixty by then and probably be living in a hole.

I see we have the same retirement plan.

Posted by: twig at November 22, 2010 8:24 PM

Buffy staked Edward.

Done.

Posted by: Lbees at November 22, 2010 9:34 PM

My retirement plan is the hell-hole under Sunnydale.
And I plan to take the "original" cast with me.

Kristy Swanson and that bald, old teenager from Beverly Hills..What´s his name?

Peter Fonda?

Posted by: UncleKaiser at November 22, 2010 9:41 PM

Everyone ignore it. Maybe it will go away.

Posted by: Parker at November 23, 2010 12:29 AM

I'll just stick with my comics.

Posted by: Uda at November 23, 2010 7:40 AM

I ignore whatever distresses or displeases me. Unfortunately this means the bulk of the world exists as a fuzzy haze to me most of the time, but also, I don't have to experience shitty Buffy remakes.

Posted by: DeadBessie at November 23, 2010 9:10 AM

I just...I don't...I can't. It's too much. I will watch it but I will not like. It hurts my heart.

Posted by: Stacey at November 23, 2010 11:54 AM