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Missile Command, a Spanish Remake, and Yours, Mine, and Ours on a Boat

By Dustin Rowles | Posted Under Trailers | Comments (19)



opengl_missile_command.jpg

Thanks to The Cog, we’re privy to a lot of inside information on projects currently in development. Unfortunately, there’s not a lot we can do with many of those projects. When there’s not a big name attached to it, or where it’s not a sequel or a remake, it rarely rises to the level of newsworthy. But I hate for all that information to go to waste. Bad ideas are great fodder for a site like ours — you folks have a tendency to feed off Hollywood’s stupidity. I’d like to offer a vehicle for that.

So, today we introduce a new feature: Green Light This! I’ll give you the loglines to three movies currently in development — and in most cases, this will be content exclusive to Pajiba — and you determine which of the three projects is the best candidate for a green light. In the month’s ahead, we’ll find out which one of these movies may get the studio go-ahead.

Here are today’s candidates:


1) Blended (Warner Brothers) — A family comedy in the vein of YOURS, MINE, and OURS. After a disastrous blind date, a divorced mom and a widowed father end up on a family cruise with their respective kids. “Hilarity ensues” and eventually the mother and father get together, forming a “blended” family. Written by Ivan Menchell and Clare Sera. Sandra Bullock and Kevin James being considered for the leads.

2) Brain Drain (Independently Financed) — Remake of a successful Spanish film. In the vein of AMERICAN PIE and THERE’S SOMETHING ABOUT MARY. When the girl of his dreams gets away, a young man and his four misfit friends fake their way into Oxford to get her back. Along the way, each of them is disabled in some way; one is blind, one is in a wheelchair, etc. Using their disabilities, they come together to help their friend find love.

3) Missile Command (20th Century Fox) — Movie based on the popular 80s Atari video game. Six cities are being attacked by an endless hail of a ballistic missile. The regional commander of three anti-ballistic missile batteries must defend the six cities from being destroyed.










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Comments

Brain Drain has Johnny Knoxville and Jon Heder written all over it

Posted by: BarbadoSlim at January 5, 2010 11:34 AM

I can see the one-sheet for Blended already. Hollywood loves garbage like that.

Posted by: Snath at January 5, 2010 11:40 AM

I can't believe people voted for Blended. Whyyyyyy?

Posted by: figgy at January 5, 2010 11:43 AM

Blended, with a new title.
Although I could see Happy Madison getting their hands on Brain Drain.

Posted by: Optimus Rhyme at January 5, 2010 11:45 AM

it's scary! please one decent story!

Posted by: carrie at January 5, 2010 11:56 AM

You really shouldn't include "Please Kill Me" as one of the options, as I think the majority will always end up picking that.

Posted by: MM at January 5, 2010 11:58 AM

figgy, we aren't selecting which one we like, but rather which shit pile is the most likely to attract the flies of Hollywood.

Posted by: Patty O'Green at January 5, 2010 12:02 PM

Can we put together a logline for "Please Kill Me." That title has movie potential written all over it. And actually, we could definitely come up with something better than the three we were given.

Posted by: Peanut_Butter_And_James at January 5, 2010 12:03 PM

"...Using their disabilities, they come together to help their friend find love."
......

"Brain Drain" might work if the four misfit guys formed one functional guy kinda like one of those old Japanese manga shows with a giant robot...

"Alright Team... Iron Studmuffin Formation....SWITCH ON!!!"

*CLANG! *WHIIIIIR! *SCHWING!
"Hey, How YOU doin'?"

Posted by: bleujayone at January 5, 2010 12:14 PM

A group of interwebs savvy intellectuals on a website made for mockery tear down loglines of movies that hypothetically may or may not be made. Our protagonist, (BarbadoSlim) is an extra snarky, eternally jaded contributor, along with a suicidal malcontent (Skitz), a sexpot type (Julie), and a Hollywood has been (Tony Danza). Watch the shit hit the net in the new feature film from Fox Searchlight, "Please Kill Me". Coming Spring of 2011.

Posted by: John Denver's Wingman at January 5, 2010 12:39 PM

Missile Command is most likely, if only because they can make things go Boom! thereby drawing all the boys young and old.

Posted by: Cindy at January 5, 2010 12:51 PM

This is "Two Truths and a Lie," right? You're reviving "Two Truths and a Lie," right? Aren't you?

...No?

Oh God.

Yes, please kill me, yes.

Posted by: Jerce at January 5, 2010 1:03 PM

Yes, MM, a strategical mistake to add Please Kill Me. His (Dustin) Plan, I think.

Is there another vote?

Posted by: Magiel at January 5, 2010 1:26 PM

And please make it fast: Firing squad > hanging > poison > zombie attack > married to Rainbow Killer > nut cancer > green-lighting any of these.

Posted by: , at January 5, 2010 1:29 PM

I can't vote for "Please Kill Me" as a movie because it sounds like a possible sequel to "I Know Who Killed Me" and we know what that means.

Posted by: , at January 5, 2010 1:31 PM

Gotta agree with BSlim on this one.

Wait a minute, didn't they make that movie already? I think it was called Benchringers.

Posted by: Jelinas at January 5, 2010 1:33 PM

Keep it up, Rowles, you're one logline away from sticking it in my ass.

Posted by: John Denver's Wingman at January 5, 2010 1:36 PM

Missile Command - you KNOW there's a hungry little Baynis WannaBe out there who wants to compare missiles.

Posted by: replica at January 5, 2010 1:57 PM

Missile Command has Roland Emmerich written all over it...

Posted by: Brian at January 5, 2010 4:19 PM