free counter with statistics Black Dynamite Trailer | Pajiba - Scathing Reviews for Bitchy People

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You See Where I’m Coming from, You Jive MotherF**ker

Bad Bull Honky / Dustin Rowles

Trailers | November 25, 2008 | Comments (29)

Below is the trailer for Black Dynamite, a blaxtploitaiton film in the truest sense. This ain’t no homage. It ain’t no watered-down studio bullshit. It’s not trying to win you over with nostalgia. And it ain’t a Shaft remake, you jive motherfuckers. It stars Michael Jai White (The Dark Knight’s Gambol) as Black Dynamite; Arsenio Hall as Tasty Freeze, Tommy Davidson as Cream Corn, Jessica Moreno as Dumb Blonde, Jason Edwards as Soul Brother, and even the trailer features a whole bunch of titties (NSFW). It’s about a dude whose brother was killed by The Man, so he’s gotta go on down to Honky Town to take care of business. The only sad thing about this trailer: The movie will never live up to it. But, goddayum, it looks like fun. And it’s apparently guaranteed to put your ass in traction (keep an eye out for the Captain Kangaroo cameo. I shit you negative):


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Comments

ummmmm, Scarlett Johansson?

Posted by: jamiepants at November 25, 2008 10:40 AM

The link is done messed up! Get back to work, Rowles.

Posted by: C at November 25, 2008 10:41 AM

wow.
and here i thought captain kangaroo had been dead for years!

Posted by: Jen Vegas at November 25, 2008 10:41 AM

I was under that impression too, Jen Vegas. Mostly because he has been. I'm interested in seeing how he's in a new movie.

Posted by: Snath at November 25, 2008 10:49 AM

I can't tell if I should be amused or offended, but I'm leaning towards psyched.

This seems like one of those movies where the writers (and I use that term loosely here) think up the trailer and work from there.

Posted by: Macafee at November 25, 2008 10:50 AM

"I will shake that poisonous shit outta your smacked-up body if I have to!"

"Stop, we tried that. Nothing works."

Genius. I'll be buying a ticket.

Posted by: Dill The Devil at November 25, 2008 10:51 AM

This flick, if it indeed exists and isn't merely a beautiful dream, is tits. And it appears it has earned its "arrah" rating.

Posted by: Amelia Bedelia at November 25, 2008 10:54 AM

This is one of those movies where most white people will be afraid to laugh if there is a black person within earshot.

"Oh no! Is this racist? Should I laugh? Will that big guy over there beat me, rob me, and date my daughter if he hears me laughing? WHAT IF HE TRIES TO COME TO DINNER? I better just leave..."

Posted by: Snath at November 25, 2008 10:56 AM

Oh God, let this be real. I'd see this on opening night, and I'm the crackiest cracker who lives in East Crackertown (West Crackertown is where all the rich honkies live).

Posted by: David at November 25, 2008 11:10 AM

Yes, we can...flog tired racial stereotypes beyond the point of absurdity. Like, when was the last time you heard anyone of any color anywhere use the word "jive" (unless they were confusing it with the misunderstood "jibe")?

Posted by: Che Grovera at November 25, 2008 11:20 AM

Bob Keeshan (The Captain) must be rolling over in his grave.

That said, the trailer is hilarious. It's probably better than the movie, but damn, it gives me flashbacks. Must rent a Shaft / Blacula double feature from Netflix now.

Posted by: BWeaves at November 25, 2008 11:28 AM

. . . I wonder if my father still has those white platforms in his closet.

Posted by: Tracer Bullet at November 25, 2008 11:31 AM

Don't be such a downer, Che. This could be the movie that I'm Gonna Get You, Sucka! wanted so desperately to be, and fell short of being.

And that final syllable--that pronunciation of "R"--actually put me on the floor.

Posted by: Jerce at November 25, 2008 11:31 AM

Damn bitch, you gon' wake up the rest of the bitches!

Posted by: Optimus Rhyme at November 25, 2008 11:44 AM

Sorry, Jerce -- just calling it like I see and feel it at the moment. Fun is fun, but this just seems so tired and dated; even if it's done with the right wink-and-a-nod attitude it strikes me as irrelevant against the backdrop of the Obama presidency. Yeah, I went there.

Posted by: Che Grovera at November 25, 2008 11:54 AM

I have a strange feeling that this movie was better when it was Undercover Brother... But it looks like it might be fun too.

Posted by: Eep at November 25, 2008 12:00 PM

"You guard! You take this cheap muthafuckah and wipe yo ass with it. You cracker-ass, rat soup eatin honky muthafucka!!!"

"Oh no Dolemite. I'm gonna hold on to this. You'll be back."

"Bitch you bring me these damn cotton?...Goddammit you know I don't where no motherfuckin cotton drawers!!"

It's settled. Dolemite and Human Tornado back-to-back at my house on Thanksgiving!!!!!

Cuz I'm gonna let em know that Dolemite is my name and fuckin up mutha-fucka is my game!!!!


This movie excites me in way that have officially given me a wet spot on the front of my jeans. Be it a little bit of pee or the awrkard, and black-light reactive cun stain...only i know for sure.

Posted by: PissBoy at November 25, 2008 12:17 PM

Somebody clearly did not do enough drugs in the 70's. Anyone that can remember those movies well enough to do this one, did not get sufficiently high on a regular basis. What a shame.
But, damn, that looks funny!

Posted by: khia213 at November 25, 2008 12:27 PM

The honkeys are gonna love this one! Or should it be honkies?

Screw it, I'm going the pride of lions route and call a group of more than one honkey a box of crackers.

Posted by: branded at November 25, 2008 12:41 PM

Hee.

Rhyming 'cool' with 'kung fu' is a stroke of genius.

This looks like the kind of thing that makes me go "Is this...are they serious?", but in a good way.

branded, that made me laugh so hard my mom asked me what was wrong. Haaaaaaa!

Posted by: figgy at November 25, 2008 1:07 PM

"But Black Dynamite, I sell drugs in our community."

I can't help but hope this movie is everything the trailer is selling and then some.

Posted by: Fredo at November 25, 2008 1:30 PM

I'm conflicted - should I be indignant that black actors so enthusiastically subjected themselves to such a stereotypical piece, or should I revel in the campy badness, cheesy acting, and plot that would hold less water than a paper g-string? I think there's hope for it - but only if it carries a R or 18A rating, if they skimp on the skin and violence I'm outta here. Certainly not one to see in theatres, but when it comes to DVD I might download it or rent it or record it on TV one night. Mindless as it looks, it could be fun.

Posted by: lordhelmet at November 25, 2008 1:44 PM

This is one of those movies where most white people will be afraid to laugh if there is a black person within earshot.

Oh, I'm gonna laugh. A LOT. But I am that special sort of girl who goes to Zach and Miri Make a Porno on a first date, so... I'm kinda weird.

Posted by: PaleoLithchick at November 25, 2008 1:50 PM

I have a section of my DVD rack devoted to blaxploitation, so if this film really exists, I will be there!

Posted by: Adam C at November 25, 2008 2:13 PM

I for one am tired of caring about what white people think. It happens for a few glorious hours everyday and this trailer kicked off my negro time. The trailer is hilarious, i'm excited about the movie even though as Dustin pointed out it couldnt possibly be as awesome as this trailer. As far as Che. Who brings Obama into a conversation about a dumbassed movie? Barack becoming president was a testimony to freedom. Black people should have the freedom to be President as well as the freedom to like stupid movies and talk through them in the theatre without anyone attempting to draw a comparison between the two. Can't we hold esteemed degrees and enjoy ign'ant things? Please, judge me not by my love of the ign'ant!

Posted by: ms shai at November 25, 2008 8:53 PM

I just had a politically incorrect orgasm. It offended everybody.

Posted by: admin at November 25, 2008 11:22 PM

What Undercover Brother should have been (though I'll admit, I watch that one every time it's on TV just to laugh at Dave Chapelle's Conspiracy Brother bit).

Posted by: Audiosuede at November 25, 2008 11:58 PM

If this movie is a success, can we petition Robert Rodriguez to make the feature of Machete, his trailer for Grindhouse?

Posted by: Bane at November 26, 2008 9:20 AM

A.

Posted by: Test at January 14, 2009 1:06 PM