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Just a Juggalo

By Brian Prisco | Posted Under Trailers | Comments (29)

Twiztid Insane Clown Posse.jpg

I always wondered what it would take to completely break my spirit and send me packing from Hollywood. Constant rejection I can deal with. The propensity for marketability over quality? Easy enough, just go indie. Hell, the whorish nature of the business? I’m pretty shameless.

But holy fuck me with a Tonka truck. Look at the video below. Do you know what the scariest part of the entire thing is about the trailer for Big Time Rustlas, the Insane Klown Posse western?

Not the fact that it’s a western with face-painted clowns rolling around skrilla-in’ with their faux ghetto-squalling. Not the fact that the script was obviously modelled on “Deadwood” — what with every other “cocksucker” replaced with the phrase: “Mothafuckin’ Mon-ay!” Not the wrestling moves, not the fact that both the villain and the hero apparently both have painted faces. Not even the fact that entire thing looks like it was shot on a porno set.

Nope. The scariest part?

This. Is. Their. SECOND. Film.

See you back in PA, friends.










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Comments

Juggalo's unite!

Posted by: schrome at January 27, 2010 6:19 PM

Here's a question: if you have a minor role in a movie like this, does this go on the resume? Or do you just "accidentally" gloss over this one?

(PA needs more Prisco!)

Posted by: MelBivDevoe at January 27, 2010 6:23 PM

Big Money Hustla's was their first, right? I own that movie.

That's right. Bring it on, Pajiba.

Posted by: superasente at January 27, 2010 6:23 PM

"juggalos" are the most mind-bottling, angering, most ridiculous thing ive ever in my 32 years come across i just DO NOT understand. who would enjoy this? whywhyWHYYYYYY

Posted by: rootabega at January 27, 2010 6:29 PM

I don't think I've ever heard any ICP songs, but I have a hard time hating them, because they are "home town" boys done, uh, good, I guess.

ICP, Kid Rock, Eminem... Detroit Rock City, bizzatches.

Also, though I have never heard any of their songs, a friend once sung a lyric from one and it has since been one of my favorite lyrics of all time (for no good reason):

I drink Faygo it's only a buck-ten
I'm a pour it on your tits when we fucking.

I don't know why I find that so funny, but I do. Mmm... Red Pop... Rock 'n Rye... Mmm...

Posted by: Forbiddendonut at January 27, 2010 6:41 PM

I realize that these cats don't pull down the same bills that bigger acts do, but still... you would think that Violent J could pull together enough scratch to straighten out that grille.

Posted by: Eep at January 27, 2010 6:42 PM

Was...was there a Geisha in there?

One time, I was watching..shit, is it TCW? Either way, the Insane Klowne Posse where fighting some clean cut looking dude atop a school bus.
One of the Posse was 'knocked out', but then ACTUALLY slid off the roof of the bus and fell about twelve feet to the floor.

Funniest fucking thing EVER.

Posted by: Nadine at January 27, 2010 6:47 PM

Faygo! That is all.

Note: I am not a native of Detroit, but I grew up in an "urban neighborhood". I miss you, exceptionally delicious sugary pop in weird flavors.

Posted by: MM at January 27, 2010 6:58 PM

Here's a question: if you have a minor role in a movie like this, does this go on the resume? Or do you just "accidentally" gloss over this one?

You do if you're Todd Bridges, Vanilla Ice, Dustin Diamond, Brigitte Nielsen, Jimmie Walker and Ron Jeremy.

Jason Mewes? C'mon dude, wtf?

Posted by: krix at January 27, 2010 7:25 PM

Ok...I have to say it. I do like some ICP. I don't know why...maybe its the memories of being high as fuck driving around pretending to be a gangster. Anyway...I present to you the lyrics to the greatest song they ever did, and tell me this song is not great for when you're really fucking angry. "Fuck The World"

[Violent J]
Fuck. Fuck this shit.
Fuck givin it to me.

[Chorus:]
If I only could I'd set the world on fire
If I only could I'd set the world on fire
If I only could I'd set the world on fire
Sya fuck the world! (Fuck the world!)
If I only could I'd set the world on fire
Fuck em all! (Fuck em all!)

[Violent J]
Fuck you, fuck me, fuck us
Fuck Tom, fuck Mary, fuck Gus
Fuck Darius
Fuck the west coast, and fuck everybody on the east
Eat shit and die, or fuck off at least
Fuck pre-schoolers, fuck rulers
Kings and Queens and gold jewelers
Fuck wine coolers
Fuck chickens, fuck ducks
Everybody in your crew sucks, punk mother fucks
Fuck critics, fuck your review
Even if you like me, fuck you
Fuck your mom, fuck your mom's momma
Fuck the Beastie Boys and the Dali Llama
Fuck the rain forest, fuck a Forrest Gump
You probably like it in the rump
Fuck a shoe pump, fuck the real deal and fuck all the fakes
Fuck all fifty two states! Oooo, and fuck you

[Chorus X 2]

[Violent J]
Fuck Oprah, fuck opera, fuck a soap opera
Fuck a pop locker and a cock blocker
Fuck your girlfriend, I probably did her already
Fuck Kyle and his brother Tom Petty, Jump Steady
My homie, fuck him, what are you gonna do?
(Fuck that bitch, fuck you!) Yeah well fuck you too
Don't bother tryin to analyze these rhymes
In this song I say fuck ninety three times
Fuck the president, fuck your welfare
Fuck your government and fuck Fred Bear
Fuck Nugent, like anybody gives a fuck
You like to hunt a lot, so fuckin what?!
Fuck disco, Count of Monte Crisco
Fuck Cisco, and Jack and Jerry Brisco
And fuck everyone who went down with the Titanic, in a panic
I'm like fuck you, AHHHHH!!!!

[Chorus X 2]

[Violent J]
Fuck Celine Dion and fuck Dionne Warwick
You both make me sick, suck my dick
Fuck the Berlin Wall, both sides of it
And fuck Lyle Lovett, whoever the fuck that is
Fuck everybody in the hemisphere
Fuck them across the world, and fuck them right here
You know the guy that operates the Rouge River draw bridge in Delray on
Jefferson? FUCK HIM!
Fuck your idea, fuck your gonnoreha
Fuck your diarrhea, Rocky Maivia
Fuck your wife, your homie did, he's fuckin you
Fuck the police and the 5-0 too
Fuck Spin, Rolling Stone, and fuck Vibe
Fuck everybody inside
Whoever's on the cover, fuck his mother
Fuck your little brother's homie from around the way
And fuck Violent J!

Posted by: DeistBrawler at January 27, 2010 7:28 PM

First of all. Faygo is the shit. Secondly, that random floozie in the clown makeup cracked me UP.
Thirdly, I think we should all get together and mock this when it inevitably comes to Netflix Instant.

Posted by: Optimus Rhyme at January 27, 2010 7:32 PM

DeistBrawler, I had to go listen to that song on YouTube. I love it.

Posted by: Alexandra at January 27, 2010 7:38 PM

Fuck wine coolers
---
That's over the line.

Posted by: , at January 27, 2010 8:18 PM

I had a friend growing up that was really into ICP. He used to try and get me to listen to them, go to concerts or one of the "gathering of the juggalos" things, so one day I go out and I purchase The Great Milenko and you know what? It was fucking awesome! I'm not even sure if that's the correct adjective, but it was definitely something else. If you've never listened to them, find some clips on Youtube or something and just take it all in. It will melt your face right off and there will be clown paint under your stinking flesh.

Or you'll just fucking hate it and never really listen to it again. Like me. But I did give them a shot, and they almost won me over. But then it turned out they were Jesus Freaks with reading disabilities and it just ruined my picnic.

Posted by: annoyingmouse at January 27, 2010 10:28 PM

I never would have guessed that Shaggy would be the good guy. Dude's got neck tattoos for fucksake.

Posted by: Borntohula at January 28, 2010 12:06 AM

I have to admit i'm a little shocked at how much genuine support ICP just got on this site. I thought we were at hipster comedy hour here...

not to say I'm a fan. I was all ready for a verbal ICP beatdown.

Posted by: mae at January 28, 2010 12:15 AM

I have to admit that they have a few songs that just really hit the spot. Homies and Love Song are the shit on YT.

Posted by: jotthedot at January 28, 2010 8:06 AM

I'm sorry, but Big Money Hustlas was ICP's Black Dynamite. They didn't shoot it or act like they were doing Henry V. It was a group of guys having fun with a camera and I hafta say, parts of it made me laugh. Not to mention, they had the fucking MISFITS in there for a cameo!

Now this is coming from a one-time juggalo, but rthey have a bunch of music that I can't really call great or good, but just fun as hell. From Dog Beats to Bizzar/Bizaar I enjoyed them. Kinda grew out of them after that.

But...one thing I can't stand? The stereotypical juggalo. Bunch of fuckin spoiled white suburban kids who act like they're persecuted because mom and dad wouldn't pay to have the windows tinted on their Honda. Shitty hairstyles, dumb fuckin clothes, and probably the worst grammar in the world. I would love to have one of them in front of me during a job interview just so I could shit all over them and whoop their ass. Pull up your fucking pants!!

Posted by: PissBoy at January 28, 2010 8:46 AM

Yeah, another reformed closet juggalo over here. Never wore face paint or a t-shirt, & never saw a real juggalo that I didn't deride, but I definitely found that a bunch of those Psychopathic Records releases tickled my funny bone. I was able to enjoy them whilst acknowledging how butthole-stretchingly terrible they were.

Big Money Hustlas was pretty awful. However, Magic Magic Ninjas What.

Posted by: the new transported man at January 28, 2010 9:07 AM

Faygo, Vernors, and Better Made chips are three Detroit fixtures that I love more than anything.

Posted by: schrome at January 28, 2010 10:01 AM

Magic Magic Ninja What!

Posted by: PissBoy at January 28, 2010 10:14 AM

I just don't know what to believe anymore. How, HOW, people, is admitting that you even tolerate ICP any less humiliating than saying you have an LOLcat tattoo? I....I don't even know you people anymore.

Posted by: Tammy at January 28, 2010 10:29 AM

Vernors, for anyone who grew up in MI, it equates with being sick. I can't drink ginger ale, it actually makes me nauseous.
Also, my favorite Detroit fixture: murder.

Posted by: Nimue at January 28, 2010 10:45 AM

How, HOW, people, is admitting that you even tolerate ICP any less humiliating than saying you have an LOLcat tattoo?

Humiliation requires shame, woman! As in, "I have no shame in admitting that I've been to the first 2 Gatherings, 1 Hallowicked, 2 JCW events, & 2 or 3 additional performances; I remain awesome."

Posted by: the new transported man at January 28, 2010 11:02 AM

Tammy, I was thinking the same exact thing. ICP is shit. Not the shit, but doo-doo feces. Rap for and by white people is doo-doo feces. I'd rather watch 27 Dresses 27 times than listen to a whole ICP album. But props to all of you closet Juggalos that came out in "support", that must've been tough.

Posted by: John Denver's Wingman at January 28, 2010 12:04 PM

John Denver--all rap is "by and for white people." White record producers selling to white suburban teens. Me n my non-threatening honky friends used to roll to the Geto Boys cuz we thought we wuz bad. Uh, not so much...plus Eminem's pretty good for a white boy, so I take umbrage to the "doo doo" remark as well.

ALSO: Not only does this movie have wrestling moves, it has a cameo by former WWF/WCW manager Jimmy "Mouth of the South" Hart. (The hammer scene). Nadine...ICP used to wrestle with WCW, unless they were also w/ ECW, which I don't recall...however i do remember a couple of their school bus matches from WCW Nitro.

Posted by: stryker1121 at January 28, 2010 12:26 PM

John Denver's Astute Observations. Dude, you've got people admitting they've listened to ICP, acknowledging that it's bad music & that Juggalos are wack, & not exactly offering "support." The 21 year-old Me definitely laughed his nuts off at some ICP lyrics. I suppose your tastes are infallible, though. One love!

Posted by: the new transported man at January 28, 2010 12:41 PM

I am constantly looking for a way to create a small more money here and there other than great normal task and that is a good way. I've under no circumstances applied this, but I almost certainly ought to. Get some more money for the reason that no one is not going to need it right after the celebrations.

Posted by: Donette Mirabile at December 29, 2010 3:03 AM

Earning profits isn't a painless thing to do, but presumably it'll become less complicated in the end right ;)

Posted by: Amber Stagno at December 29, 2010 3:42 AM