Bang, Marry, Falcon Punch Trailers: It's Going To Hurt Me More Than It Hurts You.

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Bang, Marry, Falcon Punch Trailers: It's Going To Hurt Me More Than It Hurts You.

By Jodi Clager | Trailers | May 23, 2013 | Comments ()


First up is Joseph Gordon-Levitt's Don Jon. JGL directed and stars as Jon Martello, a New Jersey wad who like banging chicks and being generally horny. Enter Scarlett Johansson's Barbara to change his outlook on life and women.

I'm going to Marry this one. JGL, WUT!


Now entering the arena is the concert film/scripted film Metallica Through The Never. Dane DeHaan plays a roadie for Metallica that is sent on a mission for the band during their sold out concert. DeHaan's character has his life flipped up, turned upside down and blah blah blah. Nimrod Antal wrote and directed this possibly unholy movie hybrid.

I am banging this one. Then getting tested for various STDs and rabies.


Last of all, Kevin James, Chris Rock, David Spade, Salma Hayek, Maria Bello, Maya Rudolph, Nick Swardson, Taylor Lautner, and Patrick Schwarzenegger in Grown Ups 2. You know this one is getting falcon punched.


Pajiba Love Express
Here's some Daveed Diggs for you. On Daveed Diggs' digs, actually. That man does things with clothes that should not make sense, but are absolutely perfect. (Go Fug Yourself)

Woody Allen has "so moved on" from his daughter's accusations and says he never even thinks about it. He equates her words about him to a bad review he won't read and comments on how wacky it is that Mia Farrow is his mother-in-law. He is the worst. (Celebitchy)

Not The Worst but still very gross: Leonardo DiCaprio and his Pussy Posse Wolf Pack were on the douche prowl in NYC. (Lainey)

Here are 5 under-the-radar shows. I had never even heard of the first two. (Uproxx)

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