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Bang, Marry, Falcon Punch: A Mob Family vs. Aussie Black Comedy vs. Unclear Plotline. GO!

By Jodi Clager | Trailers | June 5, 2013 | Comments ()


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The Family

Robert DeNiro goes back to his mobster roots while playing to the movie audience's obsession with perceived subversion of classic movie tropes. Giovanni (DeNiro), a former mobster, is in witness protection with his wife Maggie (Michelle Pfieffer), daughter Belle (Dianna Agron) and son Warren (John D'Leo). Instead of being a tense drama filled with shouting, confrontations among the frustrated family members paying for their father's choice to snitch, and fear of what happens when the betrayed mobsters find them, we have comedic conversations about violence and the inability to take the mob mentality out of the family.

I'm gonna bang this one so hard.

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100 Bloody Acres

Reg (Damon Herriman) and Lindsay (Angus Sampson) deciding to add long pig to their fertilizer blend reminds me a bit of the Rory Calhoun classic Motel Hell. "It takes all kinds of critters to make Farmer Vincent's fritters." It takes all kinds of critters to make Morgan's Organic fertilizer as well.

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The Between

What the hell? We have a voiceover, which I am sick of, from a whiny-voiced Joel Courtney (Super 8), possible dead/ghost Dad James LeGros ("Girls", Drugstore Cowboy), and Isabelle Fuhrman (The Hunger Games, Orphan) being there. I guess. If you read the plot synopsis, you still won't know what's happening. You know what that means! FALCON PUNCH!

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Comments Are Welcome, Bigots and Trolls Are Not


  • I never got to the trailers...too busy banging the header pic.

    And yes, it smarts a bit. Thanks for asking.

  • Brown

    Finally DeNiro makes a family film I'm willing to watch.

  • Verona Farlander

    Dewey Crowe? Sold!

  • yocean

    I will Marry Family, Fuck Between and Falcon Punch 100 Bloody Acres. I did not undertstand what was going on at all i that trailer. Looks dumb.

  • toblerone

    Falcon Punch Sweep!

  • Sara_Tonin00

    Amen, sista. The Family trailer must have set a record for variations on the "How was your day" "[understated ambivalent reply while something violent happens in the background]" cliche.

  • NateMan

    I wanted to hate The Family, because I'm now officially sick of DeNiro, but it looked better than it should. I shall bone it.

    Kill 100 Acres. It looks like it's trying too hard to be funny like Dale and Tucker... and failing where that one succeeded.

    Marry The Between, because while it looks cheesy, at least it's trying something different.

  • Sofia

    Oh, Pfeiffer. I go gay every time.

  • lck033

    shes a real Cool Rider.

  • Fredo

    Nevermind the photoshop. I'm willing to believe Michelle Pfeiffer is still eating the hearts of stars to still look that good.

  • Cazadora

    That's some serious airbrushing. I don't think she looked like that even in her 20's.

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