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Like a Punch to the Ovaries

By Steven Lloyd Wilson | Posted Under Trailers | Comments (62)



angrybaby.jpg

The idea sounds pretty neat for a documentary: follow around four babies from different parts of the world (Namibia, Mongolia, Japan, America) from birth until their first steps. It could be a gleaning of the best parts of the History channel and the Travel channel, highlighting stark contrasts in environment and cultural norms. The trailer, eh, not so much.

It might just be a bad trailer, but the case selection seems suspicious. There are four countries, sure, but it becomes quickly obvious that the contrast is really between “rich urban” and “poor rural” rather than any nuanced observation of culture. It’s the human equivalent of a documentary of puppies: technically it’s about animals, but it’s really about OMG SOOOOOO CUTE!!!

And I’m terrified that the FBI will be knocking on my door after Echelon flags the search for “babies movie” from my address in order to find a header picture.










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Comments

I watched it without sound, so I don't really know what the point is, but yeah, those are some cute babies. I don't have children, I will live vicariously through a documentary.

Posted by: Carrie at November 27, 2009 10:19 AM

That is one pissed-off crotchfruit up there!
My ovaries just ran and hid behind my kidneys.

Posted by: tarn at November 27, 2009 10:21 AM

Fuck the babies, that is one cute goat.

Posted by: admin at November 27, 2009 10:23 AM

Guy I work with and his wife had a baby about a week ago. He was in the office last night and asked did I want to see baby pictures?

Mercifully, there were only about 10 and he riffled through them pretty quickly. I said what I always say: "That looks just like a baby."

I know, I know. It's different when it's YOUR baby, but srsly most baby pictures just remind me of the ugly-baby episode of Seinfeld.

You know, because they look like penises left in the pool too long.

Posted by: , (just , cause I'm tired of typing that other shit) at November 27, 2009 10:24 AM

Tarn ... wow.
Seriously. WOW.

Posted by: superasente at November 27, 2009 10:25 AM

I didn't see any breast-feeding in that trailer. So why would any man want to see this?

Count me out.

Posted by: , (just , cause I'm tired of typing that other shit) at November 27, 2009 10:28 AM

The movie isn't particularly appealling. The header pic? Adorable!

Posted by: Eyvi at November 27, 2009 10:38 AM

appealing, even. Grr.

Posted by: Eyvi at November 27, 2009 10:39 AM

i like babies and kids. i want to be a father so badly.

Posted by: Utah Dynamo at November 27, 2009 10:51 AM

hahahahahhaaaa I didn't even bother to watch the trailer that header picture cracked me upppp.

Posted by: grace b at November 27, 2009 10:53 AM

The movie isn't particularly appealling. The header pic? Adorable!

Posted by: Eyvi at November 27, 2009 10:38 AM
---
"Adorable"? I'm pretty fucking pissed because I've been sitting in an acidy urine-soaked diaper for a half hour that NObody seems interested in changing AND I'm fucking hungry where's my boobie DAMMIT and ... uh-oh, I just shat myself again and YOU think that's "adorable"?

Rot in hell, bitch.

Posted by: the baby at November 27, 2009 10:57 AM

Bah. I was hoping this would be a horror movie.

Posted by: figgy at November 27, 2009 11:11 AM

My uterus is glowing. Damn you babies.

Posted by: ZoBla at November 27, 2009 11:27 AM

That might be a tumor, ZoBla...

Posted by: figgy at November 27, 2009 11:33 AM

That might be a tumor, ZoBla...

Hee! I love you figgy.

Posted by: Kelly at November 27, 2009 11:46 AM

I'm with you, figgy. When will we get the zombie baby movie that we deserve?

Posted by: Yay! It's Cap'n SausageFingers! at November 27, 2009 12:13 PM

I find stuff like this to be an extremely effective form of birth control, because the prospect of having to deal with one of these little demons snaps my thighs shut like crocodile jaws.

Posted by: Lindsey with an 'e' at November 27, 2009 1:05 PM

Kuato Lives!!!

Posted by: bleujayone at November 27, 2009 1:12 PM

Listen here, pint-sized. It ain’t my fault the boobie you’re looking for is currently in the hand of paternal possibility #4. Personality notwithstanding, you’re still adorable. Sheesh, other people’s children.

Posted by: Eyvi at November 27, 2009 2:12 PM

At first I thought, what the hell? A doc about babies? Really? One of the most common human experiences ever?

But maybe that's why it'll work. Then I watched the trailer and though I'm long past any baby-wanting days, doggone they're cute. WHY DO THEY HAVE TO BE SO CUTE?

I would probably see this, because I love to see how differently kids grow up in different parts of the world. I especially love noticing how adults physically interact with babies. It's fascinating. All the patting, touching, sniffing, messing with them, tucking them in, we really aren't that far removed from our distant ancestors. When little Snuggie was about four months old, I realized I loved to hold her and mouth the little downy hair right above her ear. When I realized I was doing it, it seemed weird. But I kept doing it. She loved it and so did I.

Yeah, I'd see this.

Posted by: Snuggiepants the Deathbringer at November 27, 2009 3:59 PM

that trailer looked a little too much like an american express commercial.

Posted by: Dr. Dysentery at November 27, 2009 5:39 PM

I am not gonna lie. I will see that movie. I will probably cry. Is it any consolation that at least the cinematography is pretty? Am I a total sop?
Answers: I hope so, and Yes.

Posted by: katyva at November 28, 2009 12:03 AM

I can't believe none of the mothers on this site are freaking out at this trailer, especially after the reaction that 'Dad Always Says Yes' movie got (I don't remember the title, but that was the basic moral, I felt). I am nowhere near any sort of baby stage and I was biting my nails the whole time that soul-warming music was playing. Watching this movie would be more harrowing than watching The Hurt Locker. There's a fricking ROOSTER right by that BABY'S FACE! The baby is drinking water from a stream on the ground! In the dirt! Save the baby! They took a baby on a motorcycle ride just hanging out in its mother's arms! The goat is going to EAT that poor baby!
Will no one think of the children?

Posted by: BiblioGeek at November 28, 2009 5:27 AM

Nah, children are more resilient than they seem to be. They can handle it.

Posted by: Cuca at November 28, 2009 11:47 AM

Damn my hormones. A week ago, that would have illicited an "Awww..." from me. Today, I'm all slack jawed and teary eyed like one of those babies stood up and gave the "I Have a Dream" speech. Pregnancy is already making me soft.

On a side note, I hope I have a cute little black baby...

Posted by: superEdna at November 28, 2009 1:38 PM

When pregnancy starts making you sick, you'll be slack jawed and teary eyed, all right.

Why not put the Asian in Caucasian? A billion Chinese can't be wrong. Kid'll win all the spelling and geography bees and go on to a lucrative career as a concert violinist at age 12.

Posted by: , (TCFKAB), at November 28, 2009 3:01 PM

The opening for that trailer was *more* than enough. Do not want 2 hours of crying, screaming, howling, fussing rugrats.

And that's just the movie. Wanna bet how many people are gonna bring their kids to see this, even if the kids have zero interest?

No effin' way. If I want to sit around with ear plugs in, watching nothing of interest, I can save the $10 bucks of gas and movie money and do it at home.

At least at home I can give the cat scritchies. We both win.

Posted by: bjs1109 at November 28, 2009 7:16 PM

Yes, this movie is really just about "SOOOO CUTE", but unlike puppies, babies are actually cute.

The trailer's opening is what entices me most, actually. Is it wrong that I think baby fighting is just the funniest thing in the world?

Posted by: Ling at November 29, 2009 11:53 AM

I can't see the trailer here, but given the custody problems we're having with my godkids and the soppy mess it is leaving me most of the time, I think I'll have to skip this.

Posted by: Drake at November 30, 2009 11:07 AM

superasente,
why 'wow?

Posted by: tarn at December 1, 2009 10:03 AM

That opening--are those babies fighting over an empty Mrs. Butterworth bottle?

At least they've got some bitchin' baby jewelry.

Posted by: DeadBessie at December 1, 2009 10:52 AM

I agree with the above post. Personally I cannot see why you would not want to make an effort in this regard anyway. Only the other day, at work we had exactly the same conversation and came to a similar closing

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