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Trailers For Apollo 18 And Transformers III: This Is The Year The Moon Destroys Us All

By TK | Posted Under Trailers | Comments (11)



apollo-18-trailer.jpg

Apparently, the sci-fi trend for this year will be sinister goings-on involving the Apollo missions. Who knew that they were so fraught with danger and menace. But it’s true — this year, the greatest danger to the human race will come from… the moon! DUN DUN DUNNNN! And it’s not just Nazis on the moon, like we’ll eventually see in Iron Sky.

First, we have the sort-of original idea of Apollo 18. The idea is that while all of us thought that Apollo 17 was the last voyage to the moon… we were wrong!

DUN DUN DUNNNNNN!

No, seriously. There was an 18th Apollo mission and shit got all kinds of fucked up on it. It’s yet another “found footage” film, made for a buck and a quarter (OK, $5 million, but still not much by modern sci-fi standards) and starring a bunch of lesser-known actors. Watch:

I gotta say, for the first 60 seconds, they totally had me. And then the trailer shit the bed completely by showing way too much. The problem is, especially for an unknown film of this particular genre, is that you should be trying to make the audience curious. I was curious for the first minute, until the trailer revealed it to be a gratuitous Alien knock-off. And even if it’s not an Alien knock-off, that’s how it’s being marketed and so now that’s the label you’re stuck with. Way to go, geniuses.

Next in terror from the moon trailers, the new spot for Michael Bay’s explosion extravaganza Transformers: Dark Of The Moon, where we learn that the transformers have actually been in our galaxy for some time now, having found evidence of them… on the moon!

DUN DUN DU — oh, fuck it.

This is basically the exact opposite of Apollo 18, because the truth is that Michael Bay movies are made to be good trailers. Trailers for Bay flicks always look entertaining, because they’re full of quick cuts and explosions and pretty girls. His movies are just 90 minute trailers, essentially. Transformers: Dark Of The Moon is no different. There’s some cool looking stuff here — cars transforming partially to have roof-mounted cannons, invasion over the city footage, Rosie Huntington-Whitely looking scared and sweaty (pretty much the default setting for all actors in these movies). It’s pretty car-intensive, this one, unsurprisingly since it premiered during the Daytona 500. Don’t ask me who won, because I’d rather kick myself in the balls that have that information available.

Anyway, it’s only 30 seconds long — give it a whirl:

Fun fact: Did you know that Ms. Huntington-Whitely is currently dating The Statham? Which therefore asks a more important question: Why isn’t The Statham in this instead of Sheye-Uh LaBoof?

God only knows, kiddies.










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Comments

As a service to the non-hipster demo of Pajiba readership I'm happy to inform that Mr. Trevor Bayne won the 2011 edition of the Daytona 500. He was driving his Motorcraft Ford for the fabled Wood Brothers Racing team.

Posted by: BarbadoSlim at February 21, 2011 10:46 AM

You couldn't be more right about Apollo 18. I'd totally want to see that movie if I hadn't just seen the entire movie in the trailer.

I think both of these films are just lefty propaganda, created to demonize the moon since, as has been stated by Bill O'Reilly, its existence proves the existence of God. So shame on you America.

Posted by: becks at February 21, 2011 10:46 AM

Hehehehehehe ... he said "Wood" ...

Posted by: The Wanderer at February 21, 2011 10:49 AM

I'm still down with "Apollo 18," because I want to see if they explain how they launched a spacecraft -- atop a ginormous Saturn 5 splodey rocket thing that leaves a huge streak in the sky and can be picked up on radar across half the planet -- without anybody noticing, to fit the premise that to the public this is only a "rumored" mission.

Posted by: , at February 21, 2011 10:49 AM

Who knew "non-hipster" was a synonym for hillbilly?

Kidding. Only kidding. You can put the shotguns back in your sheds.

Posted by: becks at February 21, 2011 10:53 AM

I'm pretty sure a spacecraft could easily be launched today with no one being the wiser. A lot of launches for commercial purposes go up with little fanfare. In the early 70s it's probably different, but never underestimate the ability for NASA to make the amazing pretty boring and commonplace. Not that that is a bad thing. Commonplace missions are what astronauts want, right?

Posted by: Mrcreosote at February 21, 2011 11:18 AM

I'm still intrigued by Apollo 18 enough to go see it during a midweek showing.

I was never going to see Transformers 3. So it don't matter what they say or show.

Posted by: Fredo at February 21, 2011 11:27 AM

Soooo, if we never went back and their communications are down, how did we get the footage?


FLAW.

Posted by: Johnny Von Awesome at February 21, 2011 11:53 AM

@Mrcreosote

The thing is, there are very organized and very meticulous guys who serve as sort of a "space launch fandom" that watch over all activity. It's a hobby for a lot of people. I don't think you could get a substantial payload launch off without one of these folks noticing.

As for the trailer, snooze. Creepy stuff happening in space took a beating with Equilibrium that it will never recover from.

-Frob

Posted by: frobme at February 21, 2011 1:02 PM

Frob: Do you mean Pandorum? Equilibrium was the Christian Bale gun-fu movie.

Posted by: TylerDFC at February 21, 2011 3:40 PM

I liked the Super Bowl spot better. Had cooler music that complemented the images better than the voice of Barton Fink.

Posted by: Vick at February 21, 2011 7:54 PM