February 12, 2009 | Comments ()

Damn. This Ho-Hum Needs More Ho!

And I Just Coined a Phrase That Made Me Slightly Queasy / Dustin Rowles

Trailers | February 12, 2009 | Comments ()

I got nothing for the new full-length Angels and Demons trailer, except shame on Ewan McGregor for doing it. There’s so much nothing going on here that it could be any movie, really. The only way I can tell that it’s not the same movie as The Da Vinci Code is that Tom Hanks’ hair is slightly less shitty, and … well … Ewan. *head shake*

Here’s a plot summary, for lack of anything better to say:

When a murder of a physicist, Leonardo Vetra, finds a symbolist, Robert Langdon, and Mr. Vetra’s daughter, Vittoria, on an adventure for a secret brotherhood, The Illuminati. Clues lead them all around the Vatican, including the four alters of science, Earth, Air, Fire and Water. An Assassin working for the Illuminati, have captured four cardinals, and murders each, painfully. Robert and Vittoria also are searching for a new very destructive weapon that could kill millions.

I don’t know if it’s because it’s late in the day, or if it’s because that plot summary was poorly written, but I have no fucking clue what it means. It’s appropriate, I suppose, considering that I have no clue what’s going on in the trailer, either. But Tom Hanks couldn’t look more serious if he was squeezing out a peanut fattie.

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